(no subject)
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angry
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Tags: rant
A Generalization
A lot of gay men are complete morons. I'm like honey to them. I don't get it.
The Nightmare, part 2
I should finish this story-rant.
So holding "option" while rebooting will force my computer to reboot from the internal hard drive instead of the usurpive (neo?) 10.2 install CD-ROM. But before the computer has booted up, it isn't running the software necessary to recognize my wireless keyboard. I'm not entirely sure if this is solely a wireless problem or if it's a consequence of my computer not having built-in wireless support, but, rather, a USB "D-Link" device to detect my wireless keyboard.
The 10.3 CD has a "starup disk" menu to bypass this problem, but, unfortunately, the 10.2 CD does not. So I have no choice but to call tech support again and wait fifteen minutes on hold. I finally get a hole of a representative. I give her my computer's serial number, and she realizes that I purchased it with a student discount. So that means, apparently, that I must obtain tech support through a different system. (I'm not sure why there's tech support segregation; maybe full-price customers deserve better service?)
Twenty minutes of muzak later, I speak with a representative who informs me of an additional startup-button feature: holding down the mouse button during the computer's startup force-ejects the optical drive tray. Hurrah! (Thank goodness I own a wired mouse.)
So now I can boot back to the 10.3 install CD and attempt to install with all of my peripheral devices disconnected, as tech support representative #1 suggested. Unfortunately, the same problem persists. I give up for now and just attempt to use my computer regularly. However, all of my applications begin locking up with the SBBoD (spinning beach ball of death) one-by-one. I'm forced to reboot. Then my computer's bootup stops at "checking local disks." I soft boot and try again: same problem. I give up, turn it off, and play FF7 for the night.
(Part 3 coming shortly)
So holding "option" while rebooting will force my computer to reboot from the internal hard drive instead of the usurpive (neo?) 10.2 install CD-ROM. But before the computer has booted up, it isn't running the software necessary to recognize my wireless keyboard. I'm not entirely sure if this is solely a wireless problem or if it's a consequence of my computer not having built-in wireless support, but, rather, a USB "D-Link" device to detect my wireless keyboard.
The 10.3 CD has a "starup disk" menu to bypass this problem, but, unfortunately, the 10.2 CD does not. So I have no choice but to call tech support again and wait fifteen minutes on hold. I finally get a hole of a representative. I give her my computer's serial number, and she realizes that I purchased it with a student discount. So that means, apparently, that I must obtain tech support through a different system. (I'm not sure why there's tech support segregation; maybe full-price customers deserve better service?)
Twenty minutes of muzak later, I speak with a representative who informs me of an additional startup-button feature: holding down the mouse button during the computer's startup force-ejects the optical drive tray. Hurrah! (Thank goodness I own a wired mouse.)
So now I can boot back to the 10.3 install CD and attempt to install with all of my peripheral devices disconnected, as tech support representative #1 suggested. Unfortunately, the same problem persists. I give up for now and just attempt to use my computer regularly. However, all of my applications begin locking up with the SBBoD (spinning beach ball of death) one-by-one. I'm forced to reboot. Then my computer's bootup stops at "checking local disks." I soft boot and try again: same problem. I give up, turn it off, and play FF7 for the night.
(Part 3 coming shortly)
What a nightmare (pt1)
Am I going to post my dream? No.
I finally got around to purchasing Panther (OS X 10.3). It arrived Thursday. I tried to install it. It kept quitting during the installation, saying there was an error. i called tech support, we tried running disk verification and repairs, but they errored out. There were less-than-superficial hard disk problems. I said to the tech support guy that I hadn't been experiencing any problems. So we tried running the diagnostic tools on my 10.2 install CDs. Repair successful. Verify again: same problems on disk. I think the repairs were less than successful, buddy.
The tech support guy tells me to unplud my peripherals--they may be the source of the problem--and try again. It doesn't quit until fifteen minutes into the install, so he gives me a case number and tells me to call back. Okay. I'm ready to go back to running from my hard disk instead of the 10.2 install CD... only... there's no option to do that. While the CD is inside, the computer will boot from the CD. I can't eject the CD until I get back onto my hard drive. There's a key to hold during startup that will force the computer to boot from the internal HD. But... here's problem #2:
Over the course of the last two years, i have spilt soda, juice, water, granola, hair, and other substances all over my wired with-computer keyboard. Eventually, it died on me. First the left-hand modifier keys (control, option, and command) died. Then, with the last spill, the right-hand ones (as well as my cursor-left key) died. It was time to get a new keyboard. If I was springing for a new keyboard, I decided that I might as well toss in an extra $20 for the novelty of a wireless keyboard. Additionally, it would be easier to take away from my computer, thusly preventing my ability to distract myself online.
More to come... must reboot...
I finally got around to purchasing Panther (OS X 10.3). It arrived Thursday. I tried to install it. It kept quitting during the installation, saying there was an error. i called tech support, we tried running disk verification and repairs, but they errored out. There were less-than-superficial hard disk problems. I said to the tech support guy that I hadn't been experiencing any problems. So we tried running the diagnostic tools on my 10.2 install CDs. Repair successful. Verify again: same problems on disk. I think the repairs were less than successful, buddy.
The tech support guy tells me to unplud my peripherals--they may be the source of the problem--and try again. It doesn't quit until fifteen minutes into the install, so he gives me a case number and tells me to call back. Okay. I'm ready to go back to running from my hard disk instead of the 10.2 install CD... only... there's no option to do that. While the CD is inside, the computer will boot from the CD. I can't eject the CD until I get back onto my hard drive. There's a key to hold during startup that will force the computer to boot from the internal HD. But... here's problem #2:
Over the course of the last two years, i have spilt soda, juice, water, granola, hair, and other substances all over my wired with-computer keyboard. Eventually, it died on me. First the left-hand modifier keys (control, option, and command) died. Then, with the last spill, the right-hand ones (as well as my cursor-left key) died. It was time to get a new keyboard. If I was springing for a new keyboard, I decided that I might as well toss in an extra $20 for the novelty of a wireless keyboard. Additionally, it would be easier to take away from my computer, thusly preventing my ability to distract myself online.
More to come... must reboot...
FUCK YOU
I hate world. I hate Texas. Fuck Texas. Fuck world. Fuck all you fuckers out there. Every single last one of you.
EVery single person keeps doing the same fucking thing over and over.
What the fuck am I doing? This job is fuckshit. I've made a grand total of $-20! Go me!
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE OF YOU
some people could and should die not painful deaths but boring deaths
"boredom is the unpleasant sensation of a lack of external stimuli"
i am stuck in this cycle. exhaustion but energy. physically ready to go but im too tired to do it. my body and my brain are on different clocks and they are both suffering
i am suffering for human interaction. real human interaction. my rambling and you "uh huh" or "oh" is not interaction. that is false human reaction
trapped in this room stuck in this house stuck in this state fuck all of you
fat cellulite physical appearance falling apart
the mother is obnoxious--reiterates the same points over and over again. she falls under boring people
i fall under boring people. i succumb to the ennui.
FUCK YOU FUCKERS
i wanted a job. something to accomplish. goals. i have goals. i was reaching them.
there is the CRACK going down the right side of my head. it starts at the temple and turns into little arties like rivers
the flow of water gets faster and thicker. it hurts. I NEED A DAMN DAM
or irrigation
no irrigation
CAUSE ALL YOU FUCKERS HAVE RUINED YOUR CROPS WITH NEGLECT
death to your veggies
FUCK THE CROPS. PESTILENCE
FUCK THIS SHITHOLE
I WANT BOSTON.
What is worse? The stress of too many responsibilities? Or the stress of fake responsibilities? The stress of not enough responsibilities?
STRESS STRESS STRESS IT IS ALWAYS STRESS
NEVER CONTENTMENT
NEVER RELAXATION
I could never move the train as a child. Never. I almost moved that train BUT YOU FUCKING LIKE TO PUT BOULDERS ON THE FUCKING TRACK DONT YOU YOU FUCKING DAMN BETTER CHILDREN FUCK YOU
a club sandwich
no club sandiwich for me
im nopt hungry
but this appetite
telling me to eat. no no no no
NOTHING TO EAT
no roughage. fiber is good. i need fiber in my diet i am running on caffeine and not enough water because it hurt when i went today it felt like it tore again but i did not see any blood which was a relief but i still sat there a ripped hairs out i used to pluck them with finger nails some guys ask how its smooth and a coyly tell that fact but now ive been ripping--one grab, 10 hairs maybe the follicles who knows the hair i hate the hair and i feel pale and my hair is dark and it shows and the stretch marks show and they show what i used to be and what i still am inside and i fight it on the outside because i hate it and i dont hate you when you are. you just remind me of myself and my shortfalls and how im so far from what i want and what i want to be i never will be and thats not my fault because im trying i really am trying im trying so goddamn hard
I TRIED FOR FIVE FUCKING HOURS TONIGHT YOU KNOW YOU WANTED TO BE THERE CAUSE I AM COOL AND SHIT RIGHT
FUCK YOU
i didnt know i could degenerate like this textually before. he's mad at me i think but it's bullshit that he's mad at me so im gonna act like hes not mad at me because he gets mad at me for nothing and maybe i am mad at you for nothing too but i am not mad at you in particular ; rather i am mad at YOU
as in the collective YOU. YOU are all one person and you filter yourself into personal avatars that do not know it and are sorry that they do things wrong and that they upset me but YOU are behind it all and you are simply part of YOU but you do not know you so you and you do not know that you and you are part of YOU
EVery single person keeps doing the same fucking thing over and over.
What the fuck am I doing? This job is fuckshit. I've made a grand total of $-20! Go me!
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE OF YOU
some people could and should die not painful deaths but boring deaths
"boredom is the unpleasant sensation of a lack of external stimuli"
i am stuck in this cycle. exhaustion but energy. physically ready to go but im too tired to do it. my body and my brain are on different clocks and they are both suffering
i am suffering for human interaction. real human interaction. my rambling and you "uh huh" or "oh" is not interaction. that is false human reaction
trapped in this room stuck in this house stuck in this state fuck all of you
fat cellulite physical appearance falling apart
the mother is obnoxious--reiterates the same points over and over again. she falls under boring people
i fall under boring people. i succumb to the ennui.
FUCK YOU FUCKERS
i wanted a job. something to accomplish. goals. i have goals. i was reaching them.
there is the CRACK going down the right side of my head. it starts at the temple and turns into little arties like rivers
the flow of water gets faster and thicker. it hurts. I NEED A DAMN DAM
or irrigation
no irrigation
CAUSE ALL YOU FUCKERS HAVE RUINED YOUR CROPS WITH NEGLECT
death to your veggies
FUCK THE CROPS. PESTILENCE
FUCK THIS SHITHOLE
I WANT BOSTON.
What is worse? The stress of too many responsibilities? Or the stress of fake responsibilities? The stress of not enough responsibilities?
STRESS STRESS STRESS IT IS ALWAYS STRESS
NEVER CONTENTMENT
NEVER RELAXATION
I could never move the train as a child. Never. I almost moved that train BUT YOU FUCKING LIKE TO PUT BOULDERS ON THE FUCKING TRACK DONT YOU YOU FUCKING DAMN BETTER CHILDREN FUCK YOU
a club sandwich
no club sandiwich for me
im nopt hungry
but this appetite
telling me to eat. no no no no
NOTHING TO EAT
no roughage. fiber is good. i need fiber in my diet i am running on caffeine and not enough water because it hurt when i went today it felt like it tore again but i did not see any blood which was a relief but i still sat there a ripped hairs out i used to pluck them with finger nails some guys ask how its smooth and a coyly tell that fact but now ive been ripping--one grab, 10 hairs maybe the follicles who knows the hair i hate the hair and i feel pale and my hair is dark and it shows and the stretch marks show and they show what i used to be and what i still am inside and i fight it on the outside because i hate it and i dont hate you when you are. you just remind me of myself and my shortfalls and how im so far from what i want and what i want to be i never will be and thats not my fault because im trying i really am trying im trying so goddamn hard
I TRIED FOR FIVE FUCKING HOURS TONIGHT YOU KNOW YOU WANTED TO BE THERE CAUSE I AM COOL AND SHIT RIGHT
FUCK YOU
i didnt know i could degenerate like this textually before. he's mad at me i think but it's bullshit that he's mad at me so im gonna act like hes not mad at me because he gets mad at me for nothing and maybe i am mad at you for nothing too but i am not mad at you in particular ; rather i am mad at YOU
as in the collective YOU. YOU are all one person and you filter yourself into personal avatars that do not know it and are sorry that they do things wrong and that they upset me but YOU are behind it all and you are simply part of YOU but you do not know you so you and you do not know that you and you are part of YOU