filigranka | Recent Entries

My main list of likes&dislikes doesn't change much - or, at all - between exchanges and coping+pasting it time and time again feel a little counterproductive. I think that having one entry to which I'll be linking all my future AO3 signups (writing letters is my least favourite exchanges' part; I love reading them, though. go figure) may prove more handy.

~~Well, time will tell. I can always go back to a traditional way.~~ It worked extremely well. I updated it 18st IV 2021 for the last time (and I think I'll just keep adding links to the lists of chosen tags from various freeforms exchanges), but I'm still sure I miss something, so if it's not my DNW and you have an idea, just go for it. I'm really, really, really easy to please and I'm really interested in how others interpret the same characters, relationships and situations.

Now, with the rise of freeforms exchanges, I end up with hundreds freeforms I like in every one of them. So, I'll try just making a nice google doc of them, seperate for every exchange, and link it here. These are terribly long lists and usually just repeating things I already mentioned in this post - or going into detail about them - so you absolutely don't have to look at them/read any of them whole, I intend them more as a help if you happen to want to write a this or that tag for me, and - because we can only request 20! :( - you aren't sure if I like it. Just Ctrl+F it, then. Or, if you aren't inspired in exchange X, take a look at the whole list; in theory, one read them all, but these is really pretty repetetive and boring task, tags repeat constantly.
The List For Prisoners Exchange

My tastes are very consistent - I tend to request the same things and re-use my old letters over and over, and over again. If you want to take a look at them, my past letters are here - there's a great chance any of my requested ships, relationships and characters would be mentioned them already (if not and I forgot about giving some details and you would like to have them, I'm open to anonymous questions via mods, PMs, in the comments or however you prefer). My AO3 handle is Filigranka - feel free to browse my bookmarks, gifts, works etc.

( General )
( DNWs )
( Likes, dislikes and porn )

Yay, yay, yay, SW Rare Pair's starting! I have to think what to nom and trim down the list, and check what's nommed already, and oooh, I'm so happy!

And there's new fanmix community on DW! <3 <3 <3 And I got two fanmixes already! <3 <3 <3 <3 I must finally post mine, to balance things up.

Frivolous things, perfect for journal - I cut my hair. Much shorter than before, which is a big thing; my hair's thin and grow very slowly, so every cut feel a little adventurous. But I like it! I look completely different now, I barely manage to recognise myself in the mirror.

Aaand it seems I'm really close to making 20 Leia/Hux works on Ao3 true. Via writing and requesting. Ha. The triumph of the human (or collective. choose according to philosophy) over masses/fandom! Nietzsche-anian moment! XDD

My plan for writing niche things fandom needs works decently, too. I think my Fish Nun aka Lanai/Luke and Fish Nun/Rey (implied, but) drabble was one of the first, if not the first, in the respective tags. And Hux/Leia/Kylo, too, and Hux/Leia/Qi'ra (sort of, because me it's me), and now I just need to move the snippets from meme to AO3 and I'd have Leia/Hux/Ransolm (sorta, sorta, me is me. emotional triangle?).

The funniest thing is, I had never been interested in threesomes, despite being very flexible multishipper, until I sank into Leia/Hux. Somehow, they work perfectly paired with someone else to torture (or torturing any of them). Perhaps it's because their over-consciousness of their own image. The need of an audience. :D

My stats' interested friend on tumblr told me that I also managed to push Carth/Reven to 100 fics. Ha, 100 fics is not a small ship in my book, but. Some achievement was probably unblocked. I'm apparently... fulfilling my fandom plans? incredible. Side effect - now I want kinky fics about Lanai. Which is, well. Want, I always may.

I need to make a list of all the flash exchange and normal exchanges I took part in the summer, because it was incredible. And fantastic. But mostly incredible. At I love all my gifts.

OTOH, I've lost my old, faithful cellphone (I had the same sim card for more than half of my life! tons SMSes and numbers of a great sentimental value! some of them from people who are dead now. and 15+ years of the same PIN code. my little cell phone's soul, wherever you are, I'm sorry I didn't take a proper care for you and lost you, and I'll always miss you ;)). I'm surprisingly sad about it. Like, almost the classic states of grief. I'm in denial, now, mixed with almost shock and coming from it detachment. ;) Humans. To think one can be so attached to the phone or any other material thing. We're so funny.

But, but, to not end on a sad note - my Polish SW exchange (small one, but it's on one forum, so one should expect more than 5-7 people in every single fandom event) goes smoothly. I changed the minimum, I wonder how this will work - and I have to make more detailed plans for Skumbrie, the "creating for Polish fandoms" action... The general gist is "101 words for 101 years of independence", and the way the words are divided is completely free - I was convinced by the forum writing 100 words of title and 1 of the actual text immediately after I share the idea with them. :D But I need more things, like, should it be a promptfest/promptmeme? mini-exchange? just writing whatever one wants - but it's bad for mobilisation... bingo was in the last years, so no... And so on, and so on. I'd still love to make something on AO3 once, to see how the interface work and perhaps-perhaps make Skumbrie on two platforms, Ao3 and forum. I should perhaps some test-run promptfest for a few people, like EE canons... For a few people, because the wank about what's "EE" and what's not might get incredibly tiring. So, this is the dream-tier plan for this and next year. ;)

I'm so unhappy I need to whine. Granted, I might do more organised things, like, do a nice list of all the fics I've written and gotten this summer. Or the books read. Places seen. But no, why to be in any way shape or form constructive, when one can whine about the big evil monopol not ruining their childhood? Changing the taste of the chocolate etc.

Well, I logged in to finally update my pan-exchange's letter, so perhaps something productive will be done later.

( SW blues )

I wish I could stop caring or be able to do canon cherry-picking, or treat fics like'd be on the same level as canon, or even decide old EU is canon not new films - and it'd be logical, because it's all fiction, at the end of the day! sure, with totally different social context and range, but let's pretend...! - but I can't. I think I'm more like male fans in this regard. ;)

Well, well, well, and this way, because of little me getting distracted by real life and time-zones, my exchanges' dilemma sort of resolved itself, because I missed the nomms' for Rare M/M. Oh, well, it wasn't meant for me in this year, then.

But I still want some exchange to do now. Yes, yes, yes, I can sign up for the marriage one and I plan to (it's just not the last moment yet, so so I'm. like. yeah, postponing. waffling about it etc. waiting to see who else would sign up, which I usually don't do, even). I can finish one of the dozens of my unfinished fics. I can do many things. I'm aware. I'm just - well, le typically whining. What's not typical it's that I'm buzzing with the energy right now (I did a few things recently, that's why, I bet), which I really should probably use in a better way. ;)

Oh, so it was to remembered that I did other things in my life than fics - there was a poetry festival here in the last week and I fulfilled my plan of coming to one meeting every day (other duties wouldn't quite allow me more). Sefi's was listening to the poetry very patiently, too, he loves poetry. Absolutely. In Ukrainian, Dutch, Polish... Oh, and I met a lot of my friends there, and the cultural centre where it's held (old castle) finally... put? built? made? the - you would not believe! after ten years of me living here and complaining about it! - railings on the stairs to the main entrance! And this year festival's tent was pretty professional, too, with the wooden floor and glass walls and anything.

Hm, hm, hm. On one hand, I'm pretty depressed (and SW is making me sad. really. SW. one of my oldest fandom... et tu, Brute?), on the other, hey, when I looked at the the lists from the last posts, I managed to clean my books' and fandom-writing one pretty nicely. Especially considering how big part of those weeks I was in the "cannot read" phase. And I finally polished up and posted the older things, managed to avoid "cleaning up" on Mirriel (periodical deleting of the stories which wasn't updated in the last three months), it's a pretty big relief. So, pfft, not happy with those weeks, but happy with my lists. Funny thing.

Also, not from the list, I wrote Han/Kylo (rape. me is me) fic for Maythe4th. It's a surprisingly big ship, all things considered. Like, more than 20 fics! Almost a juggernaut! ;)

I got the melancholic and harsh Shmi/Jango (with a non-con elements, so be warned) story, which I loved, especially because of the interpretation of Shmi and also some... ambiguity of the Force there.

I also absolutely loved time-looped Reylo and Kylo&Leia - also melancholic and harsh; I sense a theme - fics, which turned to be written by lucymonster and I feel pretty silly for not guessing it was her, now.
And since we're in the Maythe4th recs' territory, the Lando&Kylo fic is played very, very nicely on a structural level. And the art was great, as always. And in the general SW recs territory, there're two fantastic fics I recommend:
The whole Benarmie AU series of callmylyss, which is, ha, of course melancholic and harsh, but also well-plotted, with a dash of adventure and a wide cast of supporting characters (and every one of them has a distinct voice and personality).
The plot-driven Unknown Region first years of FO horror story! Horror stories are so rare in fandom, and this one is, at least for now, very well-constructed, especially world-building-wise. And, again, we got to see a lot of very different characters. Plus, the plot. The plot and schemes are great.

But I'm writing to whine. Or rather: think aloud about le fandom dilemma, which, I think, would be better understand here, when the exchange fandom lurks, then on tumblr.

Well, somebody nommed Leia/Hux for Marriage Exchange. And well the second, little me didn’t nominate things and wasn’t planning to take a part, because the marriages as a trope doesn’t interest me much - but those of the marriage-connected nommed tags which are non-con and politics are close enough to be relevant to my interest - except for Leia/Hux you see. So, so, so, now I’ve a dilemma. On one hand, if I stop my niche shipper tendencies, who are already going all “oooh! shiny!” at half of the known-to-me tagset and want to request dozens of things, I might get Leia/Hux (if I hold myself and request only it + those two other required things. which will be easy, considering I’m already see dozens interesting options). And I can easily write a lot of the requested things, they’re so fun! But. Well, like I said, marriage-tropes in general don’t interest me much as a gift; writing, that's a different matter.

On the third hand, I did a responsible thing and didn’t nominated things for non-con exchange, because I wasn’t sure if I can write porn well enough and therefore I won’t participate (will only hope that someone will request DJ nonconning Armitage and someone else will write. or I might, as a treat. but I’d prefer to get something to read) and that was responsible decision, but left me without any exchange to be in the middle of or look forward to. And it’s a first time in more than two years. I feel a little... lost, I guess, without the exchange’s adrenaline and fun? So throwing my responsible decision out of the window and signing up for non-con and marriage exchange is very tempting for my childish brain.

Also, M/M rares is open for nomms now. I took part in it in the last years. It was fun. But now, when I’m so much into Leia/Hux, which is not M/M obviously, I’m doubting - I mean, I always used all noms and requests, which means I had dozens of m/m rare ships in, like, ten fandoms. I can just use them again, it’s not like I stop liking them, and SW is a fandom dominated by a few ships, which means there’s a lot of potential for my rare ST pairings - but, but, but. You know how it is, one is down the musing and hamlet-ising spiral. What I know is I really, really, really want to do some exchange now, I’m missing the thrill terribly. little me is the exchange addict, apparently. and push Leia/Hux to those 20 fics. these are contrarian wishes, come to think of it, because the easiest&quickest way would be to finally sit down and write all the ideas I have in Polish. but then, I’d not get anything to read.

March was, in short, totally wasted and terrible, and there's nothing to write about even, except that everything I'd managed to do - to built - in regard to my mental health and habits disappeared, and I did nothing, nothing, nothing, except, perhaps, writing a few silly meta posts on tumblr, but then again, I don't even have the - energy, resources, whatever - to repost it here or on AO3, and tumblr is so ephemeral whatever I do there feels like it's already lost and forgotten in the moment I click "publikuj".

So, that was March, let's not talk about it and focus on some bearable-to-good things - Multifandomdrabble exchange’s works were revealed yesterday!

I got three lovely (and niche-y :D) gifts:

echoes - YnM, Tatsumi/Oriya, T, nothing explicit, past Muraki/Oriya of course mentioned
Leftovers - FFVII, Tifa&Denzel, a small slice-of-life scene
Carise - ha, new SW, Carise/Hux (I wonder if I should count things given to me in my personal “services for exploring rare fandom corners”, along my own works, too)

I didn't write all the things I’d wanted too, unfortunately (I think I didn't even manage the half of them. like I said, this March, I was pretty useless), but I managed a few treats.

( What Fili wrote )

And one of my drabbles from the first round was translated into Russian (HP, Barty jr.), which is the sweetest thing possible! <3

The games' front: A. convinced me to play SW: Galaxy on Heroes (via Android emulator) and I got pretty hooked up. Collective games work like a charm on me and I absolutely love the fact that on most tables there're no faction limitations, so I can make every crazy team I want. Nothing like Skywalker family team pew-pewing Obi-Wan and Yoda (I mean, those wouldn't happen mostly, because they wouldn't be a viable combinations... but sometimes one just want to play for fun :D). And of course me being me instinctively adds the narration to this narration-less game and try to come up with some stores about the player, the "cantina" (more or less lobby/interface) staff - and also, the stories behind some crazy squads. Like, why Tarkin and Leia might fight against General Kenobi... It's a great fun. Oh, and I've just unlocked ships' battles today! But there's still no Padme, or Shmi, or Hux in the game and this, this - especially Padme, let's be honest - is outrageous. I want billion versions of Padme and her maidens in dozen different outfits!

Things little me has in writing/beta-ing stage/plans more specific than vague "I want this, make this", written here so I could marvel at how little I did to finish them in a next month (so, nothing interesting to other people, probably?)

( Le list for yourself to see and despair in a month time )
But at least I send some English SW fics to beta, so I should play in niche sandbox a little more soon. I already started the handsplitting over whatever I should post them to the old collection for SW ficlets, new collection (it would become one for rarer ships, then I guess?) or separately - which is probably what most people would advice, BUT I really, really, really dislike it, it makes my profile/dashboard/fic page seems all messy to me.

I'm not sure resigning from Daylight Saving is a good idea - without it it'd be terribly dark here for most of the time one's actually active. What was pretty silly was having the whole EU change the time on the same date, though, here the last weeks before changing are always pretty terrible&constantly dark. The pre-EU changing date was a week-two earlier, if I remember correctly, and yeah, it'd work better.

Oh well. We'll wait and see. It's relatively easy thing to go back to, if the stable time won't work.

Also, Brexit circus made me appreciate our politicians, especially when I recalled how they worked to push the thousands and thousands of legislative acts just before signing the treaty, and they worked, quite harmoniously, almost 72 hours straight, then, just voting and voting, and that was the minority cabinet, too. And I'd never realised, until now, how... myopic UK press is and how totally they missed the whole "Eastern Europe in EU/is a part of Europe" thing, and they apparently can't even think about asking their stereotypical Polish plumber before writing a piece. They also seem to miss the memo about the whole 1989-1991 transformation, which is even funnier, because Germany was the part of it as well, and one would think they should notice Germany, if not anything East of it. :D

I need to find an icon for talking about books. So, what I've bought at book fair and in galleries. The bold ones are the ones I already read, the cursive is for those I'm reading. Karakter's ones, the third position, are probably the most interesting to you, T.

( Dozens of books )

I'm stealing the meme from

eglantiere (hearts! confetti!). I remember about books, but still have 8 hours in work, so meme it is. Besides, I can't say no to meme.

I currently have 237 works posted on AO3 - 85 in English, 152 in Polish. Choose a random number—no peeking!—between 1 and 237 (or 85, or 152, if you have the language preference - just tell which one you want beforehand) inclusive (where 1 is the last work ever posted and 102 is the latest), and I will tell you three things I currently like about that work.

The RTG said my bones and spine and fine, so I just made an appointment with the physiotherapist and she came to my flat (where, at that point, my mother and sister were present, too, so you can just imagine - 24m is OK for me and Sefi, but for me, Sefi, my mother and my sister... yup, it's getting a tad bit little crowded. :D and then the physiotherapist to this! it was almost like in some comedy) and unblocked my muscles and after this, things finally started to get better. I still don't get the full mobility and there's some pain, but every day brings an improvement and I think in a week or something it should be over.

Of course I'm forbidden from exercising, straining myself etc. for much longer and this is frustrating - "of course le second", because I was resting my arm, my one remaining knee got strained, but this happens often and this should pass in a few days; just, I shouldn't walk a lot (poor Sefi, our walks become shorter) and this is par the course for the disability - but at least I can do most of the everyday activities by myself, now. And the tests in Warsaw went well, too. We found a very nice aparthotel, I met with my friend on her birthday, my mother met with her old friends - overall, things are fine, so yay for this.

They - in Warsaw - I may stop checking the bones and lungs, but I'll have to, supposedly, check my heart till the end of my life, because the chemo they'd given me tends to... damage heart in time and the further it gets from the ending of the therapy, the more often damages appears, even if before, for, idk, 20 or 30 years the heart was perfectly fine - and this is interesting, I must google everything about it, because how does it work? it's like a secret, hidden agent and the sole mechanism also seems like a perfect revenge-device for some fic or novella. I've no idea, but it seems fascinating, which is main reason why I tell you all.

Aaaand the list of the books I bought, on the fair and in the art galleries, and the list of the exhibitions themselves is coming, but just – later today or tomorrow, at the weekend, I’m a bit too tired now. Have an AO3 meme instead?

( Ao3 Meme )

Just I quick update so I could get all the emotional support I can ;) - my dog is fine, but after I have a good month, a good, not-feeling disabled so much (I mean, I had an high above-knee amputation as a child, so there're pretty hard limits to how much not-disabled you can get), when I was able to exercise, repeat German&Czech, and do singing exercises everyday (and in the last week I visited art galleries and book fair, and our old town fair etc., and did many nice things) so, after all this of course I apparently overworked my spine - and I was already exercising with mostly rehab stuff and gentle, muscle-relaxing things - which decided it's a great moment to... move a little... and start to mess with the nerves&veins in my arms, which means - one of my hands is almost-half-paralysed (almost. I feel my fingers well, but it's getting all wonky when I put it down, as in, the blood cannot flow properly and this of course influences the feeling in the hand&arm&palm negatively. oh well).

It's irritating, especially since I was supposed to be resting last month and worked only half-time, so - I don't have much financial room (I'm lying; I've savings for a good year-two of life and my parents would always pay for me, if I want to, but when I touch my savings I get literal panic attacks. I'm very neurotic when it comes to them) to get a few day rest in this one. Especially since I don't see rest doing me any good and I can write, which my job amounts to, so there's not real reason, except my bad mood. Or I could tell myself I'm going to lie down the whole day - it seems to be helping, a little? - but I'll get mad if I have to and besides, somebody has to take care of the flat and dog. My mother is coming at weekend, to help me, but till then, well.

And I've a bad mood, believe me, mostly because I felt I was doing better, finally, and yet. It's frustrating.

( Personal, fandom, general life and decent Slavic complaining )

Oh, wait, wait, wait, I also wrote two treats - I mean, I wrote them for CB, but didn't post them before reveals, so they're not the treats sensu stricto, but I started them as such - for Silmarillion.
The Lullaby - Aredhel&Thuringwethil, with suggested pre-relationship. Poor little vampire roams through the night and finds the hunter more dangerous than herself... It's whimsical and lyrical, mostly, I think (and so I was told) and has 527 words, according to AO3.
Chains of Gold - Almarian/Erendis, non-con, worldbuilding and porn - let's be honest, worldbuilding wins. I cannot, damn it, write a porn in English - or in Polish, for that matter - without worldbuilding and politics. Almost 800 words.
And my Polish The Witcher fic - Calanthe&Meve mostly (while researching, I was reminded there were gossips about them being lovers and now, of course, I want a fic about it; I'll have to write it myself, I know), with Foltest (<3) and Dijkstra quest apparence. A lot of politics and letters. ;)

Czego nie ma sensu chyba ogłaszać w lengłydżu. Chronologia, żeby było chaotyczniej i bardziej narodowo, odwrotna.

Zakładka, ficzątko do Kordiana, udające sobie nawet, że jest dramatem. Ludność Warszawy komentuje sobie najnowsze wydarzenia polityczne nad pietruszką. Rzecz jest radośnie anachroniczna stylistycznie, obawiam się, to już prędzej Różewicz niż Słowacki, no ale możemy poudawać, że to jest właśnie ten transformacyjny aspekt fandomu.
Strasznie już być tym królem chcę! - Leia, Hux (wiem, że wiecie XD), Kylusiątko, Dameron w tle, komedyja o tym, jak Armiś i Leia próbują przywrócić Kylusia na łono rodziny. Napisane na forum Mirriel, mój pojedynek z Andromedą, która była tak kochana, że postanowiła spełnić moje marzenie o kimś jeszcze piszącym w polskim fandomie o Lei z Huksiątkiem. :D Wesja na Mirriel: tutaj, pojedynek z tekstem Andromedy: tutaj (i mam nadzieję, że go zaraz wrzuci osobno, żebym mogła zalinkować, bo warto przeczytać, to też urocza komedyjka).
Nowa część O obrotach... - chyba już wspominałam, ale tam, wspomnę znowu. ;) W kolejnej części wpuszczamy trochę powietrza do tej dusznej relacji Leia-Hux, bo wchodzi nam po pierwsze, kanclerz, po drugie, Peavey, który do Armisia sympatią nie pała i szczerze mówi, jak jest (czy raczej było) i że to swołocz oraz potwór.

In a moment, ~~I'll be writing the summary of my ChocolateBox writing~~ oops, was late, gonna write it now - and, hopefully, I'll also manage a rec post later (aka I'll be able to read/look something beside my gifts and art. this weekend, perhaps), and then I hopehopehope to finally post the fancy description of my DJ's fanmix (Hux&Leia's one would have to wait, because there's more of them XD), so a short summary of my gifts and my writing outside of the exchange is in order now, I think? To not spam too much.

From the personal news front: Sefi's feeling completely fine, but his liver's blood test wasn't right - but the USG was, thankfully (my sister's/our family previous dog died from a liver's cancer a few years ago, so I was - irrationally, but strongly - afraid) - so he's getting stronger meds now. Meds in form of pills. Trying to force him to take them is unbelievable hard task. He's tiny! 2,5kg weight! And yet. He heroically opposes the forceful attempts to give him medication. Even if I manage to put it straight into his throat - which is hard in itself - he just spits it back. So, now I hide it in the smallest possible bites of "unhealthy" food he loves and swallow in one gulp. I think it's better for him to get a smaller than my fingernail bit of unhealthy food and meds than not get meds at all.

All in all, great fun. Even worse than cleaning his teeth every other day. :D

On personal&fandom front: ( Bla-bla )

My ChocolateBox' excellent gifts:

Event Horizon - YnM, Muraki/Oriya, rape, a bit of porn, <2k. It's great, especially on the Oriya's characterisation front - the fic takes the little details from the manga and makes them a symbols/characterisation's points for him. It's also very, very, very nicely written, style-wise, and I love how many things one can interpret from it. It's really a fantastic fic and it's a shame it has only a few kudos now.

flurring - YnM, implied Muraki/Oriya, but can be read platonically (yes! I got two gifts with them, and I was so happy, because it's one my older fandoms and therefore so, sooo close to my heart), character sturdy, 300 words. It's another great character study of Oriya, his relationship both with Muraki and, perhaps even more, his relationship with himself, no matter how strange it sounds.

What I wrote outside CB:

~~In English: well, nothing, because I focused my attention on CB and it's unrevealed right now.~~ Ooops, I wasn't fast enough with this post (this is what I got for having it in draft for three days). hey're revealed, I'm gonna to take them into account.

But I posted my Pillars of Eternity drabbles and three-sentence ficlets written for Bazylia's prompts. I'm making it a collection for my all non-exchange English PoE works. I prefer to have little things in collections to posting separately - I know it probably lowers one's kudos outcome, but eh, I write too niche things in too rare fandoms to be bothered by kudos and all the "target&marketing" tricks. If I wanted to get more, I'd start from writing totally different things than I'm creating currently. So, my feelings re: my AO3 profile (which is already cluttered beyond measure, with all these 235 fics - and some of the collections have a dozens of them, so the real number might be about 400. le sigh) always comes first.

What I wrote for CB:

Billion thanks to all the people who helped me with their beta-ing skills and cheering on - tobermoriansass, nibi-nix, rannadylin and gamebird, I love you all.

( Read more... )

I’m finally doing end of the year writing memes. :D I still don’t know how to make Ao3 count only the stories I started to post in 2018, not the one from the previous years I updated, though, and this is skewing stats, a lot, so I counted many of them by hand and in memory which means - I might make some mistakes. Like, ten thousands words here, ten thousands words there... ;)

Meme's questions I took (and mixed) from my whole flist.

( (almost) Pure stats )

( Fic-writing babbling )

( General fandom babbling )

It's a shitposting month, which for me means MEME TIME! So I took fanfic-writers memes - one from the journalmemes I think, and one from

independence1776 - and here go! I did both of them on tumblr, but hey, it was some time ago and I DW is a different space either way, and it's the semi-official shitposting month! :D

Nope, still didn't do any of the End-of-the-Year 2018 writing memes. I am aware. ;)

My Polish fics on Ao3 are here (yay for the search) and English ones are there, in case you would like to ask the question about specific one.

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?
B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?
C: What member do you identify with most from [insert fic[?
D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?
E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?
H: How would you describe your style?
I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?
J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].
K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?
L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?
O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?
P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)
Q: How do you feel about collaborations?
R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?
U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?
W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?
X: A character you enjoy making suffer.
Y: A character you want to protect.
Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

and:

1. What made you start writing fanfic?
2. Which of your own fanfics have you reread the most?
3. Describe the differences between your first fanfic and your most recent fanfic.
4. Do you think your style has changed over time? How so?
5. You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?
6. Name three stories you found easy to write.
7. Name three stories you found difficult to write.
8. What’s your ratio of hits to kudos?
9. What do your fic bookmarks say about you?
10. What’s a theme that keeps coming up in your writing?
11. What kind of relationships are you most interested in writing?
12. For E-rated fic, what are some things your characters keep doing?
13. Name three favorite characters to write.
14. You’re applying for the fanfic writer of the year award. What five fanfics do you put in your portfolio?
15. Question of your choice!

So, em, the always-late update: Sefi's fine! :D He fine, barking, jumping, running, and being his spoiled self. Today, he even whined about his healthy veterinarian food and wanted to eat human dishes. He tried the hunger strike for a few hours, but the terrible dictator - me! - didn't give in to the protester's demands.

( Some personal (and SW-related paragraph or two) babbling )

Well, as a thirty years old person:
a) I still didn't manage to write 2018 "year in writing" summary and memes.
b) Neither did I manage to finally post the SW fanmixes I done, at least the short ones, to DW.
c) My meta remains not posted here - not archived - but at least
d) I managed to reply to some long overdue correspondence AND update DW about my dog's condition.

The first three remain here to remind me about what DW fandom things I should do. You can kick me/remind me about them from time to time and I'll try to do them before this year long carnival will be over. ;)

In short: my thirties, completely, totally, absolutely unsurprisingly, starts exactly the way my twenties ended. XD

Sefi is ill. I've gone with him to vet two times today already and it seems that all the meds and IVs drops (mostly with nutrition&hydration, because he was terribly dehydrated - and you can suspect what it means, except, to make things more scary, both of the, ah, symptoms of course had to be bloody) started to work, slowly - he can stomach&hold water, now, and not return it with blood immediately. I called the vet and we decided I'm not going there this evening, for a third time, but tomorrow morning - the threat of dehydration is more or less behind us, now when he can drink.

But I was so scared, you have to idea. I live alone except for him, I couldn't imagine returning to the life without him - I've neither children, nor partner to lay my love on them, so I've a lap dog. Such a cliche.

I literally felt my adrenaline rushing and then swaying, going up and down, depending on his condition; I was almost stammering, speaking, because of it, and of course had all other typical things - light head, feeling like at the verge of fainting (I never ever faint, though, never; I often feel like - weakness, dizziness, lightness and falling into one's own head, slight nausea, take your pic - but I never ever actually faint, so I know I have to just ignore it and do my things; I'm not gonna faint and my dizziness is always just a feeling, never makes my steps uneven or anything) etc. And I cannot sleep and either way, my shift starts in a few hours and then I have to go to the vet at morning - and if I go to sleep now, I won't wake up, neither for the shift, nor for the vet, no matter how many alarms I'll set, I know myself and my organism and yup, this will happen. Fainting - no. So, I cannot sleep till at 11am tomorrow, and since I wake up about 2am today... On the other hand, it's just 33-34 hours. Nothing too bad and I think I should be able to sleep and wake up on the next shift then... but we'll see. If not, then eh, I've enough adrenaline to stay this 48 hours. Or more. Let just see when it finally crashes.

To make things funner - I have three more shifts in this week and then it's the weekend before my birthday, which is on Monday - 28 I, it feels like a omen, considering my ideological position - and this are my 30th birthday. I have enough of the metaphysical angst, sadness and panic attacks normally - every day of my life since I was five. or perhaps sooner, perhaps I don't remember; but I remember the moment when the melancholy of passing and death hit me when I was five and it never ever really leave me since then - but now with 30th looming in they're all very, very happy and hungry, and absolutely not taking prisoners ;)). And my family will definitely come this weekend to celebrate with me, which is great (I hope to get all these silly SW books - concept art albums etc. - which I would never buy for myself, because they're too silly), but it would be nice if I managed to get some sleep before it, right?

In short: I was too worried to properly breathe about my dog, but his condition seems stable and getting better now, so I'm sort of thrown in the midst of the adrenaline ocean's waves. Wish us luck. ;)

Oh, and the sweetest possible photo of my Sefi, taken by my friend, so you would know how he looks like at all. Plus, the photographs of animals seem the official internet currency.

So, we left two objectives unmet yesterday and go a surprise free day today, so. Time to do at least one of them, preferably the less tiring one. Not the wrap-up post, then. ;)

Fics I was given recently

( Gifts )

In short, I got a lot of pretty things in the last month (more or less 30 days, I counted! :D). And in so many languages! Fandom is so generous to me, as always, and I'm incredibly grateful.

Compared to this, the list of the things I gave to fandom is... well. Pathetically short

( Written )

So, well, I got 10 things and wrote... 6, but two of them are just chapters. Sill, not so bad as I thought!

Maythe4th is starting! (almost. informs us about this year schedule. either way, it's the best, the best, the best!)

Post objectives:
a) first, to check if CSS works and posts stop throwing I.'s reading page off;
ą) more or less finish snowflake challenge, just one week over the deadline!
b) do writing-receiving bragging about exchanges;
c) perhaps, if I'll have any energy left, to finally do some 2018 in writing wraps-up.

We shall see how it'll go. Well, I., you can check the formatting even now, so the first goal is met! (it's important to set a one goal like this :D)

Now, to start with some misc. heresy - I remembered I can throw more Bond's songs into my SW remixes and I discovered that this hated (it was overblown hate, steaming from hating the film, I suppose) Madonna's Die Another Day has quite nice lyrics and is a perfect song for Leia. :D I spent hours searching for some more suitable for the whole fanmix musical style cover, but all of them were worse, so I finally settled on the almost a capella version. ;)

Day VIII - In your own space, post self-recs for at least three fanworks that you created

~~I hate challenges like this, but I was repeatedly told it's unhealthy part of the Polish culture. So. Let's try.~~

I'm tempted to link only my Polish ones, because they're obviously better. But it would be counter-productive to doing the English challenge... So. Eh. My Polish works are still better and I know some people in The Witcher fandom read them via google translate, but google translate is... we all know. Not the best way of reading anything.

( Polish recs )

See? I recced 7 things of mine, not three, I'm doing great! Of course, they're all in Polish, you just skipped that section, I could babble how much I wanted. So, now, recs in English - most of the works I like the best in English are drabbles, sooo at least you won't be suffering long. ;)

SW. I'll always think that poor Hosnian prime civilians didn't get enough sympathy in new SW and therefore I'll always think these few drabbles about them needs more love. ;) But also, they grew on me, they were written in Polish for a Polish challenge and I didn't like them at first and then, after some time, I realised they're actually well-written and do what they should. Of course, they're better in Polish, but P. checked them for me, so they should be passable in English, too. Oh, and like this one about Luke and Leia, too, and since it's just a drabble...
Something longer: I published one Leia/Hux in English, too, and since it's my current OTP and in English, I obviously have a lot of sentiment to it. They're both terrible, broken, exhausted people here and it amuses me.

Oh, wait, it was three works! For one fandom and mostly drabbles, but hey, three works nonetheless, let's be humble! I might self-rec other fandom in the next year challenge. ;)

Day X - create a fanwork - oh, well. I'm always creating and fidgeting with fandom things, tbh, so I think I passed it by the virtue of breathing, but eglantiere made it a challenge/meme, so perhaps I can use this method, too - throw a pairing/character/theme/worldbuilding aspect/whatever at me and I'll try to make a short (looks sternly at herself) fanmix for it? Or a poetry-mix, T. collection of fitting poems, I always wanted it to be a fandom thing. This also cover day XII - create your own challenge (poem-mixes are my own thing, right? you can definitely talk to me about poems which remind you about a pairing or a character), so yay, two for one! :D

Day XIII - set some goals - in a sense, I'm doing it constantly, on a level so basic like "breath, Fili, yes, breath, yup, are we breathing? yes we are, great", on the other - I never do it. Never made a new year resolution or any type of resolution, except for some attempts at Lent&Advent offerings (well, from all my resolutions, these one did the best, I was able to more or less follow them, but it was only for the Lent/Advent time and I had a religious motivation. ideas do wonders for me). so, nope, but I talked about why, so I'm counting it.

Day XIV - future of the fandom - but fandom as a whole or as our own little niche inside the niche inside the niche? I'm terrible at niches, so the general version.

( Fandom future )

Day XV Talk about why you participated in Snowflake.

eglantiere said she loves it. That's the whole story. :D

Yaaay, I managed to more or less finish snowflake challenge! Another objective met! It took me just four hours of weekend, so I'm afraid the next objective will have to wait for the next post, perhaps today evening (because next batch of free time - of so much of free time like 12 and more hours - I'll have... well... 14 days from now, I'm afraid ;)).

Snowflakechallenge is almost finished and I managed to do... oh, wait, a whole grand one day. Which probably just shows that I'm:
a) terrible at challenges based on doing something everyday and any other routine (absolutely true about me in general. funny, because routine is supposed to be something soothing for me - I think it is soothing, actually? definitely was when I was younger, I got a whole 19th-century hysteria once when we went with parents the other than usual way);
b) terrible at writing journals, but that was established already; I need other people thoughts and opinions, and talking to start my own, apparently; fooooorums, give me forums!
c) terrible at challenges which wants me to speak about thinks like "favs", "me", "joy" etc., because I start to overanalyse the thing; I stopped at day three, because I couldn't think neither about "fav moment" - I think I actually don't have favs, not really thinking in a way which could be structured like such, and perhaps this explains something about me - nor about original canon which would be appropriate, and when I started to think about short animations and poems, I was crushed down by the whole "you need an essay" thing. See, overanalysing at its finest.

But I shall try.

( Day III )( Day V )( Day VI )

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Eleven, an inelegant number

like snow falling upon snow

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