I'm starving, which is strange since I've eaten a lot today. Trying to think back to what that was, exactly... chicken and stars soup, tostada with guacamole, arroz con carne, like half a cannoli... I guess that's not a lot, but more than I usually eat. Wow. I just displayed my REALLY unhealthy eating habits on livejournal. I really want a red curry now. mmmmm Thai foooood.
Skeleton Key is on HBO (finally--we've been waiting for it to come on for the past two weeks). Seems aight.
I'm lookin' for a job and going for an interview as a personal assistant/secretary tomorrow at an art dealer office thingy. Very specific, I know. We're meeting at Starbucks and I think I'm actually going to get something to drink. I don't like Starbucks (more of a Dunkin' Donuts kinda gal--decaf iced coffee with sugar and milk) but I'm thinking I'm going to want some coffee fun when my interview is done. I realize that rhymed.
UUUUUH
I'm still hungry!!!!!! Damnit. I don't want a snack, I want an entire meal. Ooooh pizza sounds good. Or a really great sandwich.
Most of it was OK. The end had me so busy I barely had time to eat.
Hopefully my grades will be as good as I want them to be. I have an a- in one class for sure, hopefully an a in another, who knows what for my internship class and some sort of b in my class from hell.
All I care about right now is seeing my friends and family at home and straightening things out with ...other people...
and then coming back here to get a job so I can save up for after graduation.
I'm 2/3 done with my time at BU and that's sad. Sort of.
You belong in London, but you belong in many cities... Hong Kong, San Francisco, Sidney. You fit in almost anywhere. And London is diverse and international enough to satisfy many of your tastes. From curry to Shakespeare, London (almost) has it all!
Sooo, I went to see Lucky Number Slevin with my friend Regina today after class. We got something to eat in Chinatown and then made it just in time to get a good seat and all that jazz.
Then some crazy ass lady two people in front of me had a shit-attack cause the girl directly in front of me accidentally kicked her seat. Crazy lady literally stood up, yelled at the girl, called her a bitch (about three times--one time, she even stared down the girl's FOOT nd called IT a bitch), flipped her off, told her to move seats and then, when seat-kicker didn't move, she decided it would be effective to sit on her legs to make herself taller and wave her hands around (while flipping her off with the double-finger) to block her line of sight to the screen. It was ridiculous. I felt bad for seat-kicker cause that lady was obviously a fucking freak. Eventually, crazy gave up. A security guard came into the theater later on to watch over all of us in case crazy lady flipped out again.
Needless to say, I was paranoid that I would kick seat-kicker's seat and start a Stand by Me situation with seat-kicking instead of vomit.
The movie was awesome. The pre-show was even better.
It's sunny but cool out and I'm enjoying a strawberry popsicle and watching Bridget Jones's Diary. This is pretty close to an ideal day for a gal like me. (Ideal would involve a hotter day and a sparkly pool with all of my friends playing stupid games like "find the penny" and planning a fun dinner.)
So I had no idea Daylight Savings was today. Don't know how I didn't get THAT memo.
I'm looking into Austin magazines. There are more than one would think, so that's promising.
I'm obsessed with my peppermint tea/Lipton tea mix. More like in L-O-V-E.
School's been aight. Gotta get on the ball with my 722 feature. Gotta get started on my internship paper. Gotta edit and design more stuff for 718. Nothing I can't handle, really. I'm actually looking forward to these things. Well, not the internship paper cause I have nothing really to report on since I've done very little for them. Oh well, at least I can put it on my resume.
I feel grody, but I think it's my period and the fact that I only worked out once this week. I blame the lack of working out on my period, by the way.
Even though they are alt-country, I'm liking Rilo Kiley a lot. I know I'm like five years too late, but whatev. I only like a few songs, really. Some of them bore me but some of them are intriguing and I just can't stop listening to them. Also, Jenny Lewis sings in my range. I love singing along to music when I'm sitting at my computer alone. It's the little things, people. The little things.
Gonna work on a final edit of my torturous Necco story.
There are crazies yelling in the street. Annoying, but not as annoying as people who like to honk their horns for a minute straight right in front of my building. I've thought about yelling at the noisies, but I don't see that solving any problems, so fuck it.
I've been thinking. Esther said "never say forever to a girl who doesn't believe in forever."
I don't understand why women have to believe in forever. What really lasts forever anymore? Polyester? Yeah, I think that's about it...
Maybe I'm being cynical. But maybe when you are single and you don't want to be hurt by thinking you'll find Prince Charming and then never getting him, you need to be a little bitter--if only to protect yourself.
I wish I had so much integrity that I could make a decision and stand by it. I wish that I could just say I don't ever want to talk to Varun again and then do it, all by matter of principle. But there are so many "what ifs" that I can't make a decision and stick to it.
What if I'm missing an opportunity by cutting him out of my life? What if I'm missing out on a good friend? What if I'm missing out on someone I could possibly spend my whole life with?
My mom always told me never to look for a man and I never have. But she never gave any advice on looking back.
How much of ourselves do we give up to be in a relationship? Varun gave up his caution, then realized he couldn't live so haphazzardly and he had to get out. Esther's friends said she gave up "herself" to be with Adam. I gave up thinking that I could be happy being alone and then... I ended up alone.
So after we have changed, how much longer until we become our old selves? I used to be HAPPY to be alone. HAPPY to be out of the bullshit fighting, lovey dovey, he doesn't call enough/he calls too much relationship bullshit. And then I found a relationship that didn't have all the problems. Except for the distance.
And now distance is making me crazy. Not the distance from him, but the distance from all of my friends and my family and my old life where I was happy being alone but knowing that I was never ever really alone, no matter what. I always had a friend to smoke with or drink with or laugh with or be insane with--no judgement. I thought the cat lady joke was funny and I accepted my fate and moved on. Now, I want a husband and maybe even a couple of children and I'm scared that I'm going to be a cat lady who will die alone and no one will find for a few weeks.
I just want him to be happy. I just want to be happy.
I never thought he didn't care. Just for the record: I'll always know that he cares. And that's what makes all of this so much harder.
Q: WHOS THE 4TH PERSON ON YOUR RECEIVED CALL LIST? A: Lauren K.
Q: WHATS YOUR MAIN RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE? A: That Sex and the City song (Can't you see/life's easy/when you consider things/from another point of view?)
Q: WHAT WERE YOU D0ING AT MIDNIGHT LAST NIGHT? A: either writing or reading a book
Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE ON YOUR CELL PHONE SAY A: No texts. I erased them all in a fit of phone feng shui
Q: WHOSE BED DID YOU SLEEP IN LAST NIGHT? A: mine
Q: WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? A: lellow
Q: MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED? A: Dancer in the Dark (IT SUCKED)
Q: NAME 3 THINGS THAT YOU HAVE ON YOU AT ALL TIMES? A: wallet, phone, keys
Q: WHAT'S THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEETS? A: white
Q: HOW MUCH CASH DO YOU HAVE ON YOU RIGHT NOW? A: a dolla and some change
Q: What is your favorite part of the chicken? A: breast
Q: What's your favorite town/city? A: I'm too young to play favorites
Q: I can't wait to (til)...? A: JIMMY COMES TO VISIIIIT!
Q: When was the last time you saw your mom? A: Um... sometime in January
Q: When was the last time you saw your dad? A: Sometime in January
Q: When was the last time you talked to them? A: Mom on Sunday mornin'
Q: Who got you to join livejournal? A: Fuckin' Michellie
Q: What did you have for dinner LAST NIGHT? A: SPICY THAI CHICKEN AND WHITE RICE
Q: How long have you been at your current job? A: start of the semester
Q: Look to your left. What's there? A: my messy bookshelf
Q: Who is the last person you spent over $50 on? A: Myself
Q: Whats the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone? A: Some socks and shoes from Katims
Q: What website(s) do you visit the most during the day? A: gmail, bu webmail, livejournal
Q: Do you have an air freshener in your car? A: I don't have a car, mofo.
Q: Do you have plants in your room? A: No, but I've been meaning to get one.
Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now? A: Arms. I actually did some exercisin' this afternoon!
Q: What city was your last taxi cab ride in? A: Boston
Q: Do you own a camera phone? A: UGH no. But now my phone has a new version that's the same price WITH a camera FUNCTION.
Q: What's your favorite Starbucks drink? A: Chantico. Do they still sell those? And my old standby, the gingerbread latte
Q: Recent time you were really upset? A: While reading The Kite Runner.
tired
sore
listless