Frustration and whining
I am normally totally okay with the fact that there are things I can't do. For example, I cannot: do a pull-up, speak or read German, solve for a derivative (without a reference book), talk to my brother like a normal person, etc, etc.
And these are all okay, because A) I've set up my life so that I don't need to do these things to accomplish my goals, and B) I believe that if I really wanted to do any of them, I could develop the skill to do so with time and practice.
Unfortunately, there's one other thing that I can't do and lately it's been pissing me off: I can't draw.
Now, the inability to draw used to be placed quite firmly in the "A" column: I couldn't do it, but who cares? Psychologists don't need to be able to draw. And this is good, because art class in seventh and eighth grades taught me exactly two things: how to achieve perspective effects, and that I cannot draw in any way, shape or form.
Now I'm trying to design sweaters and cardigans and other knitted items, and it is driving me up a tree that I can't sketch things. This means it's almost impossible to check proportions, and for some complex designs, it's really, REALLY hard to keep the whole thing in my head at once. Right now, I've got this fun fair-isle cardigan sweater in my brain, and I can't decide what to do with the sleeves. I have four or five ideas in mind, and none of them will stay still-- each time I try to envision the sweater, it rotates through all five design ideas over and over in a fast and flickering way so I can't actually think about them. And I can't draw it, because of my whole "inability to draw" problem.
Not to mention that if I ever get serious about this knit designing thing, most proposals require sketches-- and, in my place, epic fail. It's just so frustrating to have the whole enjoyable process stopped short by such a stupid thing. And of course, there are no "I want to design my own clothes but I can't draw" tutorials or anythings on the internet. Apparently everybody can draw? So I hear? I dunno? And what happens if I do draw something, and the drawing is ugly, and then I lose the real object that I'm imagining in my head and it gets replaced by the ugly thing with freakish disproportionate shoulders and other weirdness? That would suck.
Anyway, argh. This is me in my corner with my pencils, making with the growly noises and the trial and error.
And these are all okay, because A) I've set up my life so that I don't need to do these things to accomplish my goals, and B) I believe that if I really wanted to do any of them, I could develop the skill to do so with time and practice.
Unfortunately, there's one other thing that I can't do and lately it's been pissing me off: I can't draw.
Now, the inability to draw used to be placed quite firmly in the "A" column: I couldn't do it, but who cares? Psychologists don't need to be able to draw. And this is good, because art class in seventh and eighth grades taught me exactly two things: how to achieve perspective effects, and that I cannot draw in any way, shape or form.
Now I'm trying to design sweaters and cardigans and other knitted items, and it is driving me up a tree that I can't sketch things. This means it's almost impossible to check proportions, and for some complex designs, it's really, REALLY hard to keep the whole thing in my head at once. Right now, I've got this fun fair-isle cardigan sweater in my brain, and I can't decide what to do with the sleeves. I have four or five ideas in mind, and none of them will stay still-- each time I try to envision the sweater, it rotates through all five design ideas over and over in a fast and flickering way so I can't actually think about them. And I can't draw it, because of my whole "inability to draw" problem.
Not to mention that if I ever get serious about this knit designing thing, most proposals require sketches-- and, in my place, epic fail. It's just so frustrating to have the whole enjoyable process stopped short by such a stupid thing. And of course, there are no "I want to design my own clothes but I can't draw" tutorials or anythings on the internet. Apparently everybody can draw? So I hear? I dunno? And what happens if I do draw something, and the drawing is ugly, and then I lose the real object that I'm imagining in my head and it gets replaced by the ugly thing with freakish disproportionate shoulders and other weirdness? That would suck.
Anyway, argh. This is me in my corner with my pencils, making with the growly noises and the trial and error.