Dharma Poets Community Journal

 Where You Look

Joy is grand as a lavish wedding,
           fine as a smile on a tiny newborn, 
       or easy as a busy street
            where three swallows wing to the
                        nearest tree.
                                              ~~Copyright 2008   Stephanie L Soder

I gave up on controlling my emotions
Even with the promises
Of my hearts devotion
Even when I had those prescriptions
I avoided it for following addictions
Convincing myself
I had made the right choice
And blocking out
My continence’s voice
I ran away from responsibility
And ignored all that was said to be good for me
Even when my heart was saying it was right
My mind convinced me to put up a fight
Though I thought I was happy
Didn’t mean it was the truth
Almost just like
When you said I could trust you
Ironically that in all reality
That may have been the trigger
To my immorality
If only you knew how to face this truth
I wouldn’t suffer dying and revolting you

Dear all,
You are wellcome to new community  buddhism_il

 

wondering ... wondering
if you are
as sincere as cheating
as gallant as whining
as kind as lying
as valiant as hiding

wondering ... wondering
if love is
as furious as hatred
as scarlet as death
as fervent as bluntness
as plain as everyday

wondering
wondering

 

 

exercising
the will to be forcible
for you to see me against tides
of unwanted imagery
against unexplained comedy
of you here lying motionless
touching the skin at my back

calculating
the risks already undertaken
from the moment you smelled my hair
till your arms playfully linger on my bare hip
then in unison
looking thru the frosty window
listening to the rain pouring madly at the roof
whispering carelessly to remember
long forgotten memories taken in innocence together

leaving
the bliss left under the sheets
with you holding me closely
against your bare chest
overpowering me with your able shoulders
trapped endlessly
wanting blissfully
to be here forever
without turning back
to our lives lived in secrecy

 

inside of my hold
the heart of a stranger
trying to keep it safe
our future love is in danger
this man will be the one
i will be with forever
we'll fall inlove
and hold each other forever
i know that he's out there
ill find him one day
but for now i just
have to say
i love you my soul mate
the one thats not here
but once you arrive
you'll always be my dear
i'll remain faithful
i'll be by you side
wipe away your tears
comfort you when you cry

In his eyes
I see my face
I see the pain
and I relate
I hear his words
they seem like magic
with such strong meaning
trials so tragic
the way he speaks
those words of beauty
his charm, it burns
a hole right through me
Im getting chills
as i hear his struggles
i fall inlove
with all his troubles
i feel his pain
I see it from his smile
his heart releases
my inner child
and this i wonder
does he feel me too
can he feel my pain
the way i do
Im hurting from the lack of help
i give to him
and to myself
i want to concur all his fears
wipe away
those acid tears

every day she wakes up
to her biggest fear
to go into the bathroom
and gaze into the mirror
its not the girl she`d like to see
so she starts to cry
saying why is this me
every one calls her beautiful
but in her eyes she`s not
she looks through glamor magazines
thinking why arent I that hot
she thinks sometimes she`s too thin
others she`s too fat
but all she ever does is say
why cant I look like that
she doesnt know she`s gorgeous
but she really truely is
but now she see`s her problem
and she cant live like this

In the initial stages of light,
before the emitting of life,
where the culmination of
universe, time, consciousness,
physical limits and perception,
there came animation,
cells that scattered bout,
from dust and nothingness,
pre-basic elements,
when the sun was God,
where intelligence was
simple, unstructured and
the mind misunderstood,
the heart the brain,
questions were answered,
languages forming from
pictures and phonospeak,
in a time after the bang,
when death had no afterlife,
life itself having no reason
in and of itself lacking cause,
rationality no purpose yet,
no reason for reasoning,
soothsayers shall come,
wise men to define wisdom,
theories of God(s) and
the label right/wrong,
awareness is yet to come,
interpretation yet to be,
man has inherited life,
eons after life inherited
itself and the term became so,
when the first of hearts
were single chambered,
before man discovered
HIS ego and tragedy befell,
when he, the monkey,
Neanderthals and infidels,
was belief yet structured?
at least in the faith of…
something, no anything,
the future was not destined
to come, but the present
tells another story.
Here it is…

Crushed

What happened,
it all stopped so fast though it should’ve just passed,
becoming a halt that snapped a million and one necks.

There was this eternal roar of thunder that kept rumbling,
the vibration in its wake caused time to stop in its tracks.

The hindering of life was so great that existence crawled,
rather its continuance drug its broken appendages behind.

Biology was acquainted with steel mechanics of science,
and all of its functions were given artificial assistance.

Perception of reality was clouded with a fog of hope,
introspection and meaning took on the face of optimism.

Great things were to manifest from the horror of tragedy,
purpose was thwarted from materialism more toward truth.

Acceptance was to become the rite of passage onward,
yet this task was cursed with helplessness and disenchantment.

The ability to progress was granted only through chemistry,
mental stability crossed with the power to heal granted assurance.

All else that is to become of He who was born of trauma
falls into the hands of nature’s gift of wellness through time.

Maturing into the embodiment of inevitability and fate,
though the belief of all happenings having reason remains
in question.