I was going to say that this was the first time I've ever gone three weeks without posting when I didn't have the excuse of not having internet access, but it turns out that's not true, so let's scrap that.

POINT THE FIRST: How about that Rick Nash trade, eh? I'm sad to see Dubi and Artie go, but Howson pretty much did get ripped off, so I approve. Anyway, Nash has already won my heart by making some pretty complimentary statements about Cally, which I think we can all agree is #therightway. Anyone who doesn't like Ryan Callahan is crap and should feel bad. #stan

POINT THE SECOND: sometimesalways came to Chicago over the weekend and we went to the Blackhawks convention, which I was pretty apprehensive about. For one thing, I'm not much of a Blackhawks fan: I like them, and if I had to choose a western conference team, it would be them. But the western conference is obviously the vastly inferior conference, so who really cares? Secondly, I am (and always have been) super uninterested in interacting with sports fandom in that way, which meant that I was supremely apathetic about a good 50% of the proceedings. BUT I actually had a really good time! Even though I talked to my dad on my way home afterwards and outright lied about what I'd been doing all weekend because I was too ashamed/terrified to admit it.*

^* When you come from a long line of Leafs fans, even when they're mostly now ex-fans, it's hard enough to admit that you even like another team, let alone like another team well enough to invest actual time and money in them during the off-season when you've never even paid to see the Leafs play. Plus, if admitting that I like a sunbelt team was bad, I cannot even imagine my parents' reaction to telling them I like another (in fact, two other!) original six team(s). These are the greatest of betrayals.**

^** Yes, Canadians are really weird/dumb/ridiculous about hockey.


- Why did nobody tell me that Brent Seabrook is the most humourless motherfucker on the planet? The BHTV panel made it pretty clear that he's the worst guy on the team when it comes to laughing at himself, and Sunday's panel on defence basically bore that out. He was super pissed off that people booed him when he said he'd rather have a beer with Raffi Torres than punch him in the face, and initially refused to state who his favourite player was growing up on the grounds that he was going to get booed again. (He eventually did, and got mixed cheers and boos.) I recognise that the convention is probably pretty tough on those guys given how intense some of the fans are, but OH MY GOD SEABROOK, LIGHTEN THE FUCK UP. Everyone else was very good natured about stuff like that, but he just got sullen and ended up giving, like, one-word answers to questions, as if continuing to sit there was the greatest hardship that anyone had ever endured.

This is my tl;dr way of saying I'm back to hating on Seabs, and this time it's even on account of his own (lack of) merit as a human being and not just his inability to keep the puck in the zone when it matters. >:( I mean, he was pretty adorable when he was interacting with Duncs (WHO IS INSANELY HOT IN PERSON JESUS CHRIST), but otherwise he seemed like a terrible human being. I would also like to point out that the Captain Serious story tells us way more about Seabs' inability to take a joke than it does anything about Toews' own lack of sense of humour, so maybe we could stop with that?

- Because speaking of which, Toews is actually legitimately hilarious. The BHTV panel made it pretty clear that he plays up the serious persona for effect, because he was laughing as hard as anybody at the outtakes they showed and didn't seem the slightest bit bothered by it, even with the feigned outrage. And the story he told about his gold medal being in his parents' basement crawl space!!! PLUS, after getting chirped by that little kid about getting thrown out of faceoffs at an earlier panel, when Savard complimented him on, like, the strength of his will in the faceoff circle, he looked slyly out to the audience and said, "yup, it's mostly will," and everyone laughed and he was just eating it up. So you will never convince me that he's a dead-eyed robot with neither emotions nor humour, because he just wasn't.

(Can you tell that I judge people based on their ability to take a joke? BECAUSE I DO. If you can't take a joke, you are terrible. Yes, this entire post is just one big character judgment.)

- Patrick Kane is gr8 and I will never again believe otherwise.

- Best part of the entire convention: Carcillo getting chirped by some kid about his season-ending injury being his own fault, and someone following it up by asking if he would go after Torres next season. His mock-bitter reply: "sure, maybe, if I don't injure myself."

- The second best part was Stan Mikita and Pierre Pilote. I would have watched them interact for hours, because they are PERFECTION. They definitely should have done a panel together the way Savard and Olczyk did. (ALSO: THE DUDE WHO ASKED MIKITA WHEN HE WAS GOING TO OPEN A DONUT SHOP OH MY GOD. I had actually just been joking that I was going to get up there and ask him that question when that guy beat me to it. Mikita: "I tried, but someone kept putting holes in my donuts." ♥♥♥)

- Worst part: I really wish they'd vetted questions better on Sunday. After the super embarrassing "Call Me Maybe" incident on Saturday, they had people reminding the audience that they weren't allowed to ask questions that were off-topic or just requests for an autograph and/or a hug, but they abandoned that on Sunday so we got that creepy girl going from panel to panel asking players if they preferred blondes or brunettes and askldhsdfhfhl and that weird question that I think was supposed to be about cyber bullying but was just baffling and embarrassing and I hate people. It probably could have been a lot worse than it was, but still. >:|


POINT THE THIRD: I saw TDKR on Friday, and even though I only know things about the Batman universe through fannish osmosis and went into the movie unspoiled, it was entirely predictable from start to finish. Which is not to say that I didn't enjoy it! Because I did. But it lacked the narrative disorientation that I expect from Nolan's movies, and I found that very disappointing. Also, the sound design was terrible.

POINT THE FOURTH: Chicago is really, really awesome and I kind of don't want to leave.

In conclusion, I keep watching this video of Sidney Crosby slewfooting Ryan Callahan (especially worth it for Cally yelling, "are you fucking kidding me?") and alternating between getting righteously indignant on Cally's behalf and laughing at everyone else's righteous indignation that Crosby got away with it, because lol Crosby.