I COSPLAYED
Also, Season 4 Korra is the best. <3
I fail so hard at updating
and also holy crap season 3 of Korra looks SO MUCH MORE PROMISING than season 2 already and we're only 3 episodes in, I love everything about it so far, espesh Korra realizing she made a dumbass decision
*breathes*
No, I have not had a 24-oz can of Mountain Dew in the past hour. Why do you ask?
WHOA
IT'S TURNING INTO FACEBOOK WHAT DO I DO
This is so long overdue it's not even funny.
But I'm proud to announce that I'm going through a lot of positive changes in my life right now that will benefit me in both the long and short run. I had mentioned in an earlier entry that 2013 was my year of deciding to change, and 2014 is my year of transition. No, it's not all fun and games - in fact, some of what I'm going through is pretty miserable - but I know I will thank myself for all this in the long run.
( Collapse )
So after that rant, I think I may try some push-ups or sit-ups or something. Or watch anime. Or both - at the same time. :)
*kindergarten voice* I am thankful for...
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I'm sure I could think of about a billion more things if I had the time, but right now I'm off to help my mom cook for Thanksgiving and to finalize my Black Friday list. Even more things to be thankful for! <3
Korra season finale thoughts
Okay so... wow. There's a LOT to talk about as far as the season finale goes. Forgive me if my thoughts are a little disjointed on this one because I had to help my aunt move tonight (...last night?), so I didn't get a chance to start writing this until after midnight, which was several hours after I'd seen the episode instead of right after. It was an action-packed special, too, so I'm sure I've missed out on a lot of points that I'd thought "hey, I need to comment on that!" I may watch it again later and come back and adjust my entry as I remember things.
I'll start with a safe subject - the soundtrack, voice acting, and animation were all top-notch, even more so than usual, it seemed. I know I've said this before, but if they come out with a book 2 soundtrack, I will literally be first in line for it because omg how beautiful is this music. I also loved how visually appealing the entire episode was. The spirit world is just so pretty!
The Unalaatu (? UnaVaatu?) fusion was no surprise, of course, although the fact that he became a giant was a little unexpected. Wan didn't change size when he fused with Raava (although she was physically much smaller than Vaatu at the time, but I guess Wan could've shrunk). It wasn't an unwelcome surprise, though, as it was a really cool character design and eventually led to a much more epic-scale battle between him and Korra. I LOVED Cosmic Korra (even if I'm still a little unclear as to how she actually separated her spirit from her body).
Seeing Zhao was interesting. And at the same time, a great reminder of why the spirits and physical world needed to stay separate; even if the spirits do no harm to humans, there are always people like Zhao who seek to harm the spirits. (YES, I'M LOOKING AT YOU WHILE TYPING THIS, KORRA.) Actually, the entire forest of lost souls (? or whatever) concept was pretty cool. Reminds me of the forgotten forest thing in the comics. I also - as expected - squeed with joy upon seeing Aang, although I'm wondering if he was actually Aang's spirit or just an illusion brought on by Tenzin's subconscious. Either way, I refuse to complain about seeing Aang in any way, shape, or form.
The twins were perfect, as usual. I just... there literally is not a bad scene with those two in it. If there's one thing that happened in book 2 that I'm grateful for, it's the introduction of those two. They're just so quotable! "I am so done with spirits." And basically everything Eska said to Bolin. Just, just, I know I keep saying the word "perfect" but it's really so applicable. I LOVE THEM. And damn it, now that Bolin has shown genuine affection for Eska I think I'm starting to like the Boleska ship more. This is, what, my third ship for Bolin? lol I'm such a multishipper in the Korraverse! (Which is SO RARE for me because usually, although I enjoy and accept multiple ships, I have an OTP and stick with it through thick and thin.)
I think I've kind of adopted Bryan Konietzko's thoughts on Korra shipping: just, whatever is fine. My OTPs are probably still Makorra and Bosami, but hey, if they don't end up happening, it's not the end of the world. I'm glad Mako was finally - finally! - open to Korra about their breakup and their relationship in general (he really hasn't been all season) and will hopefully get to spend some quality time with Asami soon because she deserves it. No, I'm not a huge Masami shipper, but they're cute enough, and we all know it's only temporary, so it's fine in the meantime. I did kind of do a double-take in that last Makorra scene because they were both like "I love you" and then they kissed but then they were breaking up so whatever that was even about. :\ I'm not concerned about them, though. Honestly I was more confused about Bolin... because he just suddenly started liking Eska for the first time and for no apparent reason? WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM? So I'm just really confused. But I guess at this point, whatever goes romance-wise, goes. I could deal with any of the main ships becoming canon, and I know that no matter which one it is, it'll be well-written and I'll end up loving it anyway.
Seriously almost cried when Aang's Avatar image thing disappeared and then again when Wan's did. That scene was really powerful. And Korra's connection to her past lives being lost? That's actually so upsetting it's borderline disturbing. That was part of what drew me to the show in the first place; it can't just be gone!
Eska, Desna, Bumi, and Jinora. Just... can I like adopt all of them to be in my family? Or maybe I'd marry Desna, idk. And I've heard we're going to see a lot more of Bumi in season 3. JUST OMG <333
But after getting all the positives out of the way, I have to be realistic and say that there were several things about the finale that I didn't like. First and foremost, I'm really questioning Korra's decision to leave the portals open. It seemed so last-minute and random and very unlike her. I mean, she'd literally just defeated Unalaq, who spent the entire season being as villainous as an Avatarverse villain will ever get, and suddenly she decides he was right? Just, what? And while I know that she could theoretically go back and close the portals at any time if she wanted to, it's the thought that counts. And her thought, apparently, is "oh, nevermind that there are all of these super evil people who want to possess spirits and use them for their own gain, or misguided spirits who want to do harm to humans, it's okay, I'm sure it'll all work out in the end." KORRA, YOU HAD ONE JOB, AND THAT WAS TO BE THE BRIDGE BETWEEN THE MATERIAL WORLD AND THE SPIRIT WORLD. AND THEN YOU SAID YOU NO LONGER NEEDED TO DO THAT JOB. JUST, WTF. ARE YOU BEING LAZY OR JUST PLAIN STUPID?
So not really sure what happened there or how I feel about it. I guess it's okay that humans and spirits can commune freely, especially since that's how the world was to begin with. Maybe that's how it was meant to be. But couldn't she have... I dunno, monitored the portals or something? Made some kind of transition deal where she alternately opens and closes them for a while? Because for it to happen so abruptly makes me uneasy. And yet everyone else was standing there smiling at her and telling her she did the right thing. I guess they just didn't want her antagonizing them again.
I've already talked about how sad I am that Korra lost her Avatar connections, but it can't hurt to reiterate that because omg ;-; AANG. AND WAN. UGH WHYYYYYY.
Also kind of hated that there was no explanation whatsoever as far as the Jinora thing went. Like she just randomly had Raava with her or something, wtf. So that was really weird and I'm hoping we'll get some sort of explanation for it eventually, even if it's some generic tag line like "I just felt like it was something I had to do." Because for right now I have no idea what she even did, let alone how she did it or how she knew she needed to.
...And so, with all the talk about the finale out of the way, I move onto the final season verdict.
As I had figured would be the case, and as you've probably deduced by now, there are some things about this season that will probably never sit right with me no matter how much time I've had to reflect on them. I didn't hate it like some people did and like I honestly had started to in the beginning. But it also wasn't fantastic. I enjoyed that it had a more abstract conflict than season one, so obviously that lends itself to being more difficult to manage well. Did they manage it well? That's a difficult question to answer. And really, I know I've been comparing books 1 and 2 a lot this season, but I'd like to stop and point out that I almost feel like it's not a fair comparison. Season one and season two were complete opposites in just about every way, so you're kind of comparing apples to oranges, and deciding which one was "better" is kind of unfair in that respect. Season one was showy and grand, but when you think about it there wasn't a whole lot of substance to it. The conflict centered entirely around bending (a human phenomenon), so there had to be lots of epic fights. And of course, with a more cut-and-dry villain than we're used to, Amon had to have several deep, dark secrets unveiled at perfect intervals to make all the fans go "WHOA." So from a writing standpoint, the first season was really well done. It was interesting and suspenseful with cliffhangers and developments so dramatic they were almost overdone and well-choreographed bending fights in all the right places. But if you stop to think about it, the conflict was extremely limited and its resolution required virtually none of the spiritually-oriented Avatar business we're used to seeing in the Avatarverse. Season two was so much more universal, but the tradeoff was that with the conflict being that much more internal, the developments didn't seem as huge and also couldn't be explained as fully or transitioned as well. The conflict here, I think, was too big to fit into a fourteen-episode season. It felt staggered and jumpy at times, not, I'm certain, because of bad writing, but because there just wasn't enough time to cover everything. Even a twenty-episode season like ATLA may not have been enough coverage for a battle in a war that had been going on, as far as we know, since the beginning of time. Plus, by nature, the harmonic convergence battle could not possibly yield as decisive an outcome as we're used to. It was almost so epic it was doomed to have an unsatisfactory ending no matter what it was, if that makes any sense. So for what it was, I think it was actually astonishingly well-written. When you compare the scope of each season and the developments, both plot-wise and character-wise, side-by-side, season two easily wins out over season one. But I guess my problem is that season two left so many huge gaps and unanswered questions (that look like they are going to stay unanswered) that I don't feel comfortable giving it as much credit as I want to (or, probably, as it deserves).
Final score for the entire season: I think a 7.5/10 is fair.
I have a lot of thoughts on this Korra-related interview - so many, in fact, that I think I'm going to wait and put them in a separate entry. I'm glad that we're getting book 3 news already and seem to be (*fingers crossed*) looking at much less of a wait between seasons this time. No one gave any specifics about the reason behind the wait last time, other than vague mentions of "production difficulties" (um, yeah, I'd imagine so if you had to go to Pierrot for half the season). But it looks like not only are they sticking with Mir, but they're also getting it done much more quickly this time! :D Of course, when you keep in mind that they only turned in the finale the day before it went live online, then you realize how much work they still have left to do before they can air book 3. So it won't be too soon. But as long as the wait is less than, say, a year, I'm okay.
Other than Korra, I haven't had a lot going on since... four days ago?... when I last wrote. We moved my aunt and cousins into their new house last night, so there was that. Right now my next big thing is Thanksgiving and Black Friday. Not gonna lie, I hate this new Thanksgiving-evening shopping trend (what happened to all the excitement of getting up early and, y'know, actually on Friday?), but if it's a choice between missing out and going on Thursday evening, you better believe I'll be choosing the shopping. So now to go add things to my Black Friday list. (I have no idea what I'm getting literally anyone this year. NO CLUE. Usually by now I have at least half my family members' gifts picked out, if not purchased. So... this year will be interesting.)
WHY IS IT NOT FRIDAY YET?
maybe I should have watched it after all
and I could if I wanted to because it's now available for iTunes and I actually HAVE IT ON MY IPOD and am STILL waiting anyway...
no one can ever say I don't have willpower
I want to watch Korra ;^;
I decided to wait until Friday to watch the finale. Not because I don't want to watch it now but, as counterintuitive as it sounds, because I do. I want to draw out the excitement as long as humanly possible. The way I see it, we've got another impossibly long hiatus ahead of us, seeing as how we haven't heard the first peep about book three and they were actually finishing up the season 2 finale just a few weeks ago; why make the wait even longer by rushing the end? (And for that matter, why watch it for the first time on a laptop as opposed to an HDTV? Of course, I guess I did that with the series premiere too...) But I'm going to make the most of this week and am going to rewatch at LEAST the rest of the season before Friday to get my thoughts in order. I may rewatch the first season as well (or if I'm feeling really ambitious, maybe ATLA too, although 80+ episodes in 4 and a half days probably requires more time than I even have, so I think I'll save that for a later marathon). So although I feel horrible as a die-hard fan of 8 years and counting to just NOT WATCH an episode when it becomes available... as strange as it sounds, it's because I love the series so much that I'm waiting.
But let me just say that not watching the finale early is the hardest thing I've ever done, and yes, that includes spending the better part of a year on an 800-calorie diet that doesn't even allow fruit. (Which I'm probably going to start back in a couple of days now that my thyroid is finally stable... ugh. Not looking forward to it.) Seriously though, Friday can't get here soon enough because everyone who has watched it has said it was amazing (which hasn't happened since Beginnings) and I'm SO READY. It's KILLING me not to read spoilers, but I absolutely will not allow Korra to be spoiled for me. It's weird - when I start on a new series, I'm not very careful about avoiding spoilers and sometimes actually seek them out if there's something that I'm really curious about and don't want to wait until I've caught up to find out. But with Avatar/Korra, Bleach, DGM, and - back in the day - FMA, I refuse to look at them until I've read/watched it myself. Which is a good thing, of course, because that means I love it too much to ruin it by not seeing it from the original source first.
But damn if it's not a bad thing as well. It is literally taking every ounce of self-restraint I possess to not go to nick.com right this instant and stream the finale over and over and over again until I can recite it line-by-line during Friday's showing.
You can do this, Lauren. Come on, stay strong....
MAKO, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
[Serious Korra spoilers! And my thoughts on the season as a whole]I missed the first two or three minutes because my stupid new cable box decided to give me no signal until I restarted it. OF ALL THE TIMES. But I think most of what I missed was the conversation between Bolin and Mako that had been floating around online all week, so I had already seen it. Plus the whole episode will be available for my iPod in probably less than 12 hours, so it's all good.
The first thing that captured my attention I was related to my OTP of the entire show - BOSAMI. Why oh why haven't they shown any interest in each other? I was seriously freaking out during the mover outside scene because it was such a huge obvious parallel between the first Makorra kiss (and, in turn, the Ember Island Kataang kiss). I think I can now understand why some people feel the need to shout things at the TV screen because the whole time I was like "JUST KISS ALREADY!" But of course Asami was... er... seeing?... Mako and it's unclear where Bolin's serious romantic interests lie, so they kept things lukewarm. Which I guess is cool for now since it's only season two, but I will honestly be disappointed if Bryke doesn't at least explore the possibility of Bolin and Asami becoming a couple. Like, going out on one date and then deciding the chemistry just isn't there or something, like Bolin and Korra did. (Or, better yet, deciding the chemistry is there. /wishful thinking) But they're so alike and so alone (no, Mako and Ginger don't count), so it would actually feel weird if they didn't think about dating because then it'd look like they were dodging a really obvious possibility. In my very slightly biased opinion, of course. ;)
The most painful part of the episode for me, though, was not the lack of Bosami but the worsening love triangle. Mako, Mako, MAKO. WHAT ARE YOU DOING. I've defended you and stood behind you all season because I totally get that it's hard for you to choose between two such talented, awesome, single girls, but NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You cannot have two girlfriends. You cannot pretend like your breakup with Korra never happened. You cannot give your brother advice that you yourself refuse to follow. And, most importantly, you cannot just push Asami aside like that. I'm still reserving my judgment because he seemed like he genuinely wanted to tell Korra about the breakup until he thought better of it. I think it was less that he was afraid for himself (which is what it looked like and my god I can only imagine the kind of backlash that's going to get him from fans) and more that he didn't want to throw Korra out of whack emotionally right before the most important fight of her life. So if he wanted to go back to Korra - or pretend to temporarily or whatever - for that reason, then okay, I will accept that. But what I will not accept is the fact that he didn't seem to have any interest in explaining himself to Asami. She has never been anything but sweet, generous, understanding, and respectful to Mako, and he's pushed her aside for Korra twice now, and he hasn't treated her with the respect she deserves either time. He'd better make it up to her in a very apologetic way soon or I'm going to stop coming to his defense.
Bottom line: I can still understand what Mako is going through (he still hasn't technically done anything wrong), but I'm afraid I can no longer support it. But in the end Mako always has others' feelings and best interests at heart, so I have full confidence in both his flawed but well-meaning character and in Bryke's tendency to redeem even the deadliest of mistakes that Mako will man up and apologize to both girls by the end of the season. Or at least by the beginning of next season. (But I'm hoping by the finale because then he'll have fewer haters to nitpick at his mistakes and blow them out of proportion during the inevitable huge wait between seasons. And with every episode his critics get more and more livid. I've seen people actually quit the fandom over his actions, so here's to hoping - for the sake of peace within the fandom - that he rectifies his mistakes sooner rather than later.)
But if Mako's character suffered in tonight's episodes, Bolin's finally recovered from all the hits he's taken this season. The Eska thing may have been hilariously ridiculous, but it sure did little to reinforce what a strong, kind, lovable character he is. And it just got worse from there. He turned into an arrogant actor (though granted, he was the most lovable and least snobby snob ever), moved out, fell under Varrick's spell, and completely lost confidence in his brother, not to mention he's botched every chance he had at any sort of decent romance this season. (I hate this Ginger girl.) He had started to look not only shallow but clumsy and fickle as well. I hate to say that I hadn't even been enjoying his humor in recent episodes
Oddly enough, I think I actually like Varrick more now that I know he's a criminal. I went through a short spell of hating him for what he did to Asami, but now I'm back to being charmed. He was just so open about all the things he did, like he didn't even care. I guess it's to be expected from a sociopath. LOL at his really nice jail cell as well. I love that his demeanor didn't change one bit after being arrested. He's quite a unique character, and I hope he has a big role in upcoming seasons as well. Also, Varrick/Zhu Li forever! "They're both cold-hearted war machines" - I died!
I don't have a whole lot to say about Jinora's situation... I'm worried for her, of course, but I know she'll come back safe somehow, though I suspect Unalaq may try to use her as a bargaining chip if he gets into a tight spot. I dunno, maybe not, though, as that seems too cheap for someone who is about to fuse with a spirit. I do wonder what would have happened if they'd taken Jinora's body into the spirit world with them. Would her spirit have been attracted to it? Obviously it was too risky to attempt, but I can't help but think that would have made things at least marginally easier as far as what will happen when they do find her. They don't seem to have a solid plan for merging her body and spirit again.
I was relieved that Desna is okay and seems to have no permanent damage. But I just felt so sorry for him when he said his piece about his father. The twins so rarely show emotion or loyalty that it was heartbreaking to witness some small piece of what is obviously turning into an internal battle. I'm sure they will end up helping Team Korra in the end, but to have to go against their father will not be easy, especially since it's pretty clear that they have no real friends to speak of. They have each other, which will make it a little easier once they reach a mutual decision. I just hate that they have such a messed-up father.
Speaking of the twins, though, I wonder what happened to Eska's infatuation with Bolin. It's like she was in love with him for the first half of the season, then mad at him for an episode or two, then she just didn't even notice him anymore. I'm wondering if we'll ever see any more of that romance or if it left as quickly as it came. (Maybe she still has some lingering feelings for Bolin and he will be part of the reason she decides to join their team?) Although I could never really take Boleska seriously and it certainly never replaced Bosami as my OTP, it was a fun ship, and it makes me a little sad that once it was over the twins didn't seem to get any more humorous parts. They were almost solely responsible for keeping the humor alive during the first part of the season. Very rarely does anything a character does or says make me actually laugh out loud, but Eska had several lines that made me miss subsequent responses because I was laughing so hard. So while Bolin and a couple of other characters keep us from being completely devoid of comic relief, I do really miss the dry humor the twins provided and really hope they'll be a major part of upcoming seasons.
I was super hoping Beifong had some kind of awesome trick up her sleeve - something top secret that she couldn't let on to Mako about, like a stealth spy team dedicated to tracking Varrick's every move or an informant within his ranks or something, but it seems that she just genuinely ignored Mako all season. :\ Kind of hard for me to believe since she was such a badass all season one and spent time working with Mako and seeing how clever and observant he was, then all of a sudden she just ignores everything he says. I'm glad she redeemed herself in the end and fired those two goons (which honestly I had even thought might be working for Varrick and trying to pull the wool over her eyes behind the scenes) but still, I'm a little disappointed in her complete lack of faith in Mako. Toph would surely have sensed something was amiss or at least entertained the possibility. But Lin is not Toph, and Korra is not Aang, and this is an entirely different series than the original and I have to keep reminding myself of that. Even though I do love drawing parallels and seeing the original characters (seriously almost cried when Iroh showed up last time).
One character that has really started to shine in these last few episodes is Bumi. I knew from his first appearance at the tail end of last season that I'd love him... I just never realized how much. My gosh, he is just perfect.
I have tons of theories, most of which are kind of half-baked and may not make a lot of sense. But I keep coming back to one, or at least a variant of it. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I never thought they did enough with the whole "if the Avatar dies in the Avatar state, the Avatar cycle ends" thing in the first series. I don't know that I'd say Korra is necessarily going to die, but I do think she and Raava are going to somehow become separated or something so that she no longer has her Avatar powers. That'd kill two birds with one stone: one, it would be an epic, unexpected (for most lol) plot twist, and two, it'd provide a built-in conflict for future seasons. Because not having an Avatar is obviously not very good for the world, especially if the portals stay open and dark spirits start coming into the world again. So whether Raava voluntarily leaves Korra or Vaatu forces her out or something happens where it's a choice between losing the entire battle or just losing the Avatar or some other similar situation, I do think Korra is going to lose her Avatar powers. She will get them back in the end, of course. But temporarily, I feel like it would provide the maximum amount of conflict and suspense. It's what I'd do if it were my series, but who knows, maybe Bryke has something even more epic in store for us.
So obviously I'm really looking forward to seeing how the harmonic convergence thing goes. It has a lot of potential, and I have no doubt that it will live up to that potential because Bryan and Mike always have a way of redeeming everything in awesome, epic, jaw-dropping season finales. And that really needs to be done this time because let's be real... this season as a whole has been less than stellar. (Of course, I am excluding Beginnings.) When you're watching these episodes, they're pretty good. But when you sit back and actually think about them, this season has more plot holes than Swiss cheese. Why is Raava so powerless compared to Vaatu if they're supposed to be equally powerful spirits? How even was there chaos in the world if Vaatu, the spirit of darkness and chaos, had been locked up for 10000 years? How did Unalaq meet Vaatu to begin with, and why does he have a spiritual connection that most others lack? How would Korra have known about harmonic convergence if she hadn't lost her memory and therefore not had to meet Avatar Wan? Why did Korra even need a spiritual guide? (Keep in mind that if she hadn't insisted on taking Jinora, she'd have never had to open the portal and harmonic convergence would have been a much smaller affair with fewer immediate repercussions for the material world.) I'm not used to having so many questions that don't look like they're going to be answered. I am, of course, reserving final judgment until after I've seen the finale, but so far I'd have to say that from a critical perspective, this season has been the weakest plot-wise of either series so far, and honestly I think it'd take more than what even a really amazing hour-long finale could provide to completely remedy some of the issues I have with it. It's not bad, per se, but anything that's so shaky that it falls apart under close scrutiny can't exactly be considered good, either. Which is a shame because a book entirely about spirits could have been fantastic - I'm talking 14 consecutive episodes like Beginnings. That would have blown me away, and honestly I kind of expected it to, more than it did anyway. I'm not saying I hate it, but I'm also not saying I love it. It certainly hasn't lived up to my expectations so far. I think I'm just gonna need time to work through it and accept it for what it is. And time isn't exactly something that I'm getting right now with only a week between episodes, so while I hate that we're about to go on another hiatus, I'm also glad for a bit of a respite to digest this season.
Wow. I never would have believed I'd be writing something like the above paragraph - actual honest-to-God criticism of an Avatar spinoff - but here I am doing just that. But like I said, I don't hate it. Some fans are just flat-out bashing this season, but it certainly has some good points. (Namely, Beginnings - my #2 or 3 favorite episode pair of either series.) The conflict is interesting and unique, the animation improved greatly after Mir took over again, and the character development for everyone except Korra and Bolin has been really well done. I'd actually have to say that in terms of originality, it's better than book one, which flowed well but focused so much on bending that the conflict itself seemed a little stale and materialistic. The problem is that this season was so ambitious that it has more weak points than usual, which is unfortunate but honestly you just have to expect an occasional dud out of any amazing series. (Case in point: most of the time I pretend HP Chamber of Secrets never happened, lol.) And let me be clear that even the worst episode of Korra is still better than 99.9999% of all other TV shows out there, in my very slightly biased opinion. These episodes were not at all bad (except for maybe Peacekeepers); they simply weren't what I'm used to. And we still have a seventh of the season left to go, of course, but no matter what the season finale holds, good or bad, strong or weak, whether it answers my questions or not, I'm going to welcome season 3 with open arms when it premieres.
Now to decide if I want to watch the season finale tonight or next week. I hate that they're making it available early because I want the usual week to get my thoughts together, especially after such an action-packed episode, but I also don't want to have to wait. ;-; I've NEVER deliberately waited to see anything Avatar- or Korra-related and have also, for 83 episodes and counting, never not seen an episode within 24 hours of it becoming available in some form (the only exception in either series being the first 4 episodes of the original, which aired before I started following the show). I've never been more conflicted in my life! D:
crazy
hopeful
thankful
contemplative
determined