HELP FOR SI.

You'll all be happy (well, some) to know that I've been cut free for nearly year :) I'm more than proud of myself. Because I've also been opening up about my sexuality. Right now, I label myself as "bi" but I tend to like the ladies more. In fact, I put myself out on a limb and asked a girl out. She rejected me in the nicest way possible. But if I was like how was in the past, I would have probably cut once or twice before moving on. Now, it's was "OK. That sucks. But chin up." type attitude.
I know you all can get through and stop cutting (if you really want to), and I support everyone of their choices.

Elli.

i havnt came here in ages but i used to update in here alot.

i wanna thank this community for it did help me, and i want to thank the ppl who comment on my posts back then.

the reason that im updating is because i havnt  cut or abused myself in anyway for a whole year now, it seems alot shorter but i cant believe that ive axcually done it.

the bad part is that i thought i wont think about it but it seems the longer that i stay without cutting, makes me want it even more.

its getting very hard to try and hold myself.

im seriosly wondering if the urges will ever go away.
i started cutting coz of anger but now i dont know what to do when im angry..i scream alot.

and that hurt my friends and family, so u can see why am i thinking of cutting, i just need a way to release my anger.
i should buy a boxing bag or sumthin luls.

well i hope u guys r doin alright.
sawsie

New plea.

Dear all,

Firstly, I would like to thank you all for the fantastic support you have offered after my last post asking for photographic models. I received messages from people offering support, willing to have their photo taken or those wishing to fill in a questionnaire. I couldn’t have expected a better response and I hope I come across as genuine when I explain how grateful I am. That gratitude is also extended to all the moderators who kindly left my posts up for people to read. Thank you.
Your support on my last project has inspired me to push my creativity further and extend the self-harm project that I began over two years ago.
This time I am hoping other people might be willing to get involved as I am opening the 'requirements' up to include many more heath issues.
Although I have not yet written my Artist statement, I am hoping to make the most of my 4/5-month holiday by getting a head start on next term’s project.
The project I worked on for my first year of my BA(Hons) Photography, at Anglia Ruskin University, was surrounding the subject Self Injury/Harm. My initial plan was to put together a book of shots of young men and women who use self-harm. I had always planned to put these, headless, images in a book. However after much deliberation I decided to hand in a miniature version of the images, kept in a box for presentation and to save the book idea for my second year.
I now have another 8 or 9 months to put together a comprehensive collection of images that not only cover the issue of self harm, but also bring in other issues that may trigger self harm or are produced as a secondary to self harm (although I realize this is very different for everyone). I intend to create images that contain men and women, of all ages, colour or sexuality, who have had or who currently are experiencing issues with, self harm, anorexia/bulimia/EDNOS, depression, binge eating, disassociation, sexual abuse/rape survivors, participation in S&M, transgender/ transexuality, scaring from incidence etc. Essentially I am hoping to capture many aspects of mental health with a specific look at how mental health affects you physically and how you feel about your body.
As part of this work, I would like to follow 3 or 4 people through treatment. This could be in-patient or out patient, mental health related treatment or physical health. For ease, it would be great if the participating people lived near Cambridge or around the south of the country, however, I would be willing to travel if needed.
The idea of lots of people modeling once, representing their own lives and stories, means I can share very small insights into a mind set or situations. However, by having the chance to follow 3 or 4 (or more if possible) people through one part of their lives, documenting the details of their stories, I have the opportunity to show people a much deeper look into life with impairments.
I hope that the work is tasteful, that it never glorifies SI or any other issues that may be raised, yet at the same time offer people who don’t understand a chance to see how it affects people. That is where your help comes in!
I may be able to explain my own relationship with self-harm and mental/physical health, I may even be able to give statistics, but unless many people get to share their stories.. We can’t expect people to just get it.
Just like last time, I am looking for people from anywhere in the UK, 
any age (as long as your over 16 with parental consent or over 18), and either sex. I would be willing to help out with travel costs to my home and you would be more than welcome to stay at my house with a friend of yours.
This time the compassion of the images will be slightly different, but you will always have the last word on what you are happy to do.
The models I have used so far are my close friends, people who I love and would always want to protect, as well as the wonderful people who nominated them selves. I would never exploit anyone and I will include text in the book that describes just how grateful I am for the models co-operation. All models will need to sign a model release form.
I am telling you all about the book and my hopes for the future as I would like to ask if anyone would want to take part? I want to show all aspects of self-harm and mental health issues, not just scars or tears or meds. There is so much more to it. The smiles you have to put on for those around you, the depression you feel, the guilt, the eating distress, the arguments with loved ones, I want to try and communicate that too.
I am hoping to get moving as soon as possible, so if you have some free time over the summer and fancy a trip to Cambridge, please e-mail and we can work something out!
Feel free to contact me, Indigo.Clouds.Imagery[@]Gmail[.]com

Hey, my name is Jo. I am 24 and I live in Cambridge UK

I'm doing a fine arts degree, BA(Hons) Photography, at Anglia Ruskin University. I'm in my first year but I have worked as a photographer previously.

For my major project this year I am studying self harm. Its something I have worked with before and personal experience of.

I hope that the work is tasteful, that it never glorifies SI, yet at the same time offers people who dont understand it a chance to see how it affects people.

I decided that I didnt simply want the photos up on a wall as they were too private. So I am putting together a book. It wont be published, I will only make a handful of copys. It will be A4/5 size and each page will have 2 or 3 images on. Along with that will be a very small amount of text that's either commentory from me, statistics or quotes taken from the small questionair I have asked my models to fill in.

The models I have used so far are my close friends, people who I love and would always want to protect. I would never exploit anyone and I will include text in the book that describes just how greatful I am for the models co-operation.

I am telling you all about the book as I would like to ask if anyone would like to take part? I want to show all aspects of self harm, not just scars or tears. There is so much more to it. The smiles you have to put on for thoes arond you, the depression you feel, the guilt, the eating distress, the arguments with loved ones, I want to try and communicate that too.

I wonder how you might feel about helping me acheve that?

Models will need to be over 16 and have permission from parents if under 18. You will need to live in the UK and be avaliable for a photoshoot as soon as possiable. Models are not paid but I can help with traveling costs, offer you and a friend food/a bed for the night and you will have an opertunity to buy a copy of the book when finished if you would like.

I am needing people as quick as possiable as the project needs to finish in the next 4/5 weeks and some models backed out. That said, if you do offer, you will be under no pressure to do anything you are uncomfortable with. Even if that means you getting here and changing your mind. If you are interested I can show you some images I already have to see what you think. Feel free to pass this on to friends you think may be interested.

I hope this post isnt inapropreate, feel free to remove it. x-posted to other self harm communities.

You can leave messages here or you can e mail me at GumChewingFreak[@]Gmail[.]com

Thank you for reading, have a safe day xx xx

( just me ranting...behind lj cut..Collapse )

( Hey I'm CeraCollapse )

What kind of SI do you do?: cutting, i sprained my wrist on purpose twice
When did you start?: two years ago.
How long have you been doing this?: a while. I stop for a while then relapse and it gets bad then slowly bring myself back to stop.
What makes you want to hurt yourself?: to feel alive, to vent, etc.
Does anybody know? a few people.
If so, who?: some teachers I'm close with, a few friends.
Do you feel pain while doing SI? at times, depends how deep I cut.
How do you feel after you've SI?:it depends. sometimes better, sometimes worse.
Where on your body do you do this?: upper thighs, inner arms, shoulder, legs
Where do you SI? (i.e. bathroom, bedroom): bathroom if I'm home alone otherwise bedroom
How do you cover up your injuries?: ace bandage, clothes, anything.
What made you begin to do this? my best friend died, i was angry, dumb, and young
Do you have to visit anybody on a regular basis? not anymore.
How often do you SI?: varies, every day, from periods of rest, etc
Do you hurt yourself even if you're not feeling: yeah
Have others abandoned you because you do this? yes
Do you like your scars? it really depends on my mood.
Have you ever tried to commit suicide? yes
Do your parents know you hurt yourself?: my mom thinks i stopped a while ago
If so they think...: it was a cry for attention. bitch,
Are your parents divorced?: yes
If not do you want them to be? --
Do they fight often?: they stopped talking to eachother alltogether.
If so how do you feel when they fight?: --
Have you ever been hospitalized/institutionalized for your SI?: yes
If so did you like it?: no although group wasn't completely horrendous.
Would you want to go back?: no
Do you want to hide it from people?: yes
Do you hide it from people?: yes
Do you regret that you started to SI? kind of.

so things have not been going very well . I've been really stressed out . On sunday i accidently cut myself shaving and i went to show it to my mom and she saw the cuts on the inside of my leg and she was like have you been cutting again ? I was like no but i have and she's like ok then. Then my dad comes home and we sit down and eat and she's like Emily has this big gash on her leg it's looks like she's been cutting herself again. And i'm like can we not talk about this now. And she shut up about it.

But the thing that really pissed me off is the fact that i've brought it up to her on numerous occasions that i don't like it when i tell her things then she goes and blurts out my business to everyone in the family. And I told her this but she denies that she does that.If i wanted everyone in my family to know whats going on with me then i would tell them myself but i don't so there fore i haven't. And she shouldn't do it either. I have asked her to stop but she hasn't . And she wonders why i never tell her shit. Because I don't trust her and i want to be able to tell her whats going on in my life but she went and did this.

Hey. I haven't written in this community in forever. So I thought it was time for a little update. I haven't cut in three months. I'm going to therapy consistently and I haven't had thoughts of suicide or cutting in the same time frame. Yeah..all in all everything is going well except my ex boyfriend and i got in contact last night and talked on the phone for four hours and we didn't fight but he said some things that made the conversation uncomfortable and some old feeling started coming back in full force. Life is exicting fo sho.

we will use Clarence and Janis for the scenario

Clarence was out and about one night at Spring Break. He was hot and horny and looking for a milf. He meets this chick janis. She was about 38 while he was 20
they start talkin on the beach. One thing leads to another and he is pounding her milf poon on the beach.Clarence is pretty sick and twisted
so before he cums he pulls out and flips the condom off and cums inside Janis.Janis is shocked and automatically panicing.Clarence then pushes her into the sand and throws sand into her face and preceeds to steal her clothes.Clarence has a fun time the rest of spring break.
When he gets home he is shocked to find out that he is adopted
so he sets out to find his real mother
about a year he finds a match a precedes to make contact with her birthmother in the room they meet in he is shocked to see the women is about 39 and has a retarded baby.
Clarence is also shocked to see that the women who is holding the tard baby happens to be Janice who he fucked last spring break so in short
Clarence sandbagged is own mother and he is now the father of his own baby brother while his mother is also the grandmother.

aint that a bitch?????????