Blinded by Your Eyelids

Wow. So I haven't actually updated in a while. Hope everybody is having a rad summer. I leave for vacation with the family the 28th or 29th, I'll be gone for a week, week and a half. That will suck. No John. Of course, he's leaving in August for a week, so...

So yeah...There's a Motley Crue concert in August too...I'd like to go to that, but I'm too stubborn to spend money. Haha...Isn't that sad?

My sunburn isn't as painful as it was. And I have begun to peel. Ugh.

Um...Have I mentioned that I will have my own car within the next couple weeks? Yeah...It's that 5-speed escort I wrote about a while back...A standard car is better than NO car, which is what I've been dealing with the past 2 months. Am I right, or am I right?

Speaking of which, my dad is not going to help pay for it, not that I'm shocked or anything. God forbid he make anything easy on me. That's okay, when he sees me, he's taking me shopping, and I'm not going to feel bad if I stumble upon an 80 dollar pair of pants that I simply can't live without. Haha...

Hey, and maybe he can pick me up a new guitar stand while we're at it? Hahaha...

So yeah...

changed around my layout, I think it's a little more uplifting than the last one. What do you think?

My Xanga plays Adam Sandler. Forgetful Lucy. Yesssss.

Somebody amuse me.

I'm tired. And I keep getting the urge to sneeze and I NEVER DO.

Going to Bull Shoals lake this weekend. How exciting. I'm also dragging Tiffany with me. My mom had invited John, but since he has to take Thursday off for an FFA trip to Silver Dollar City and then in two weeks he takes off another two days for an FFA trip to St. Louis, he can't go. DAMN him with his 60 hour work weeks and his effing FFA trips. I swear they go everywhere. Oh well. No biggie. I'm used to his constant trips.

Besides, Tiffany and I will enjoy ourselves. My mom and the rest of the "adults" will be too busy getting drunk and acting like morons to notice us anyway.

So yeah. I really need to go buy a guitar stand. Oh wait, I'm too BROKE. I need a job.

So yesterday, Tiffany, Jessica, Amanda, John and I went to Ozark to go swimming. It was alright, it would have been better if the water wasn't so effing cold. We stayed there for a while, Tiffany and them left around 2:30, but me and John stayed another hour and then left.

I was happy to see him, he didn't have to work because of Memorial Day.

I wish I had money. *sigh*

I have nothing to do, so when I can't see John, I clean, eat, and play my guitar.

(Kalie, you'd be proud, my fingers are ready to bleed. Haha)

Another slow day...Hopefully I'll get to see John tomorrow. We may go to Kyle's house, his parents are out of town.

I wish I had all the stuff I need to paint. I don't have a blank canvas. *sigh*

I guess I'll clean, that seemed to work yesterday to pass the time.

Off-brand ginger ale does NOT taste like ginger ale.

If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand. 
I hope you find out what you want. 
I already know what I am. 
And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again. 
And you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. 
I'll grow old and start acting my age. 
I'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. 
A crown of gold. A heart that's harder than stone. 
And it hurts a whole lot, but it's missed when it's gone. 

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. 
I'm glad that you can forgive. 
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget. 

If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of the state. 
You can keep to yourself. I'll keep out of your way. 
And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down. 
Every picture you paint, I will paint myself out. 
It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room, 
when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds. 
So call it quits or get a grip. 
Say you wanted a solution. You just wanted to be missed. 

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. 
I'm glad that you can forgive. 
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget... 

You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold. 
Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones. 
Spring keeps you ever close. 
You are second hand smoke. You are so fragile and thin. 
Standing trial for your sins. 
Holding onto yourself the best you can. 
You are the smell before rain. 
You are the blood in my veins. 

Call me a safe bet. I'm betting I'm not. 
I'm glad that you can forgive. 
I'm only hoping as time goes, you can forget.

Love that song.

This summer...Is starting off quite slow. It's going to suck not getting to see John everyday. He works 7 days a week, 6 of them full, and the 7th day he just works for like 2 hours in the morning. That's a hell of a lot of work.

I'll be seeing him at night mostly if I'm going to see him, so my mom is going to have to lighten up about me being out at night or I will go insane. It's just because he has a penis, seriously. I hate sundays. I wish I had a job. That's sad, I'm so bored I wish I had a job.

Still no call-backs, by the way. But I've only turned in 3 apps, I still have two that I need to fax. I'll do that tomorrow. If I get desperate enough, I may just go work at automagic. I'd do that before I'd work at McDonalds.