twelve operations in normality twilight, all-human. where Bella, Alice and Rosalie have been friends since birth; Bella and Edward got married right out of high school and their friends still make fun of them for it; Alice is a yoga/meditation instructor and Jasper is in corporate law which causes some problems; Rosalie started having a fling with her personal trainer Emmett… four years ago; and most of the scenes resemble sex and the city a disturbing amount.
title: there will be blood (but if you're not hemophiliac you don't have to worry) fandom: buffy the vampire slayer/true blood/twilight character(s)/pairing(s): (in order of appearance) emmett, willow, faith, rosalie, carlisle, jasper, edward, eric, alice, spike rating: r word count: 462 spoilers: none. this is crack, baby, we don't deal in spoilers. notes: so a while ago i had this idea where i would blend the vamp mythology and general moral tone of all of my vampire fandoms into one epic crossover... and it turned into this ridiculousness. my apologies.
summary: vampire come out of the coffin and madness ensues.
title: be afraid of the cold; they'll inherit your blood, pt. v: roar fandom: twilight character(s)/pairing(s): edward pov; edward/bella, the volturri, carlisle rating: pg13 word count: 5200 spoilers: breaking dawn au. notes: this is the last part of 'five times bella never got turned into a vampire'. title and opening quote (translated) from regina spektor's 'apres moi.' this isn't me working out my issues with e/b at all, i have no idea what you're talking about.
summary: au. the volturri find them on their honeymoon.
title: be afraid of the cold; they'll inherit your blood, pt. iv: burn fandom: twilight character(s)/pairing(s): bella pov; the cullens + bella, jacob, victoria, riley rating: pg13 word count: 2919 spoilers: eclipse au. notes: this is part four of five 'times bella never got turned into a vampire'. title and opening quote (translated) from regina spektor's 'apres moi.'
summary: au. bella has different luck during edward's fight with victoria.
title: be afraid of the cold; they'll inherit your blood, pt. iii: slush fandom: twilight character(s)/pairing(s): alice pov; the cullens + bella, charlie, renee rating: pg13 word count: 3846 spoilers: new moon au. notes: this is part three of five 'times bella never got turned into a vampire'. title and opening quote (translated) from regina spektor's 'apres moi.'
summary: au. jacob isn't there to pull her out of the water.
title: be afraid of the cold; they'll inherit your blood, pt. ii: ink fandom: twilight character(s)/pairing(s): carlisle pov; the cullens + bella, victoria rating: pg13 word count: 1737 spoilers: twilight au. notes: this is part two of five 'times bella never got turned into a vampire'. title and opening quote (translated) from regina spektor's 'apres moi.' uh, so these kind of get more disturbing as i go along?
summary: au. edward hesitates in the ballet studio.
title: be afraid of the cold; they'll inherit your blood, pt. i: torrent fandom: twilight character(s)/pairing(s): jasper pov; the cullens + bella, canon pairings rating: pg13 word count: 2682 spoilers: twilight au. notes: this is part one of five 'times bella never got turned into a vampire'. my foray into 1st person, to see if i could work through my issues with it. title and opening quote (translated) from regina spektor's 'apres moi.'
summary: au. jasper decides to kill the human girl after edward stupidly saves her from the skidding van. it does not go as planned.
title: i fell down the anthill for days fandom: twilight character(s)/pairing(s): bella, nessie, charlie rating: pg word count: 829 spoilers: breaking dawn. notes: character death. title from neko case's "fever."
summary: “what happened to black being classic? i mean, this is a funeral for god’s sake. i can’t send you dressed in teal.”
