i’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food anymore.. i don’t even know where Sandwiches live
i am putting together an expedition
The devastation of the English ecosystem has rendered the Sandwich extinct within its borders, hence my expedition to their last surviving population.
I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.
if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this
Literally always take headphones with you. If you decide that you probably won't need them today, that's the devil talking. You will. You will
some birds are very intuitively named. looked up a sparrow going chipchipchip in my yard, it was a chipping sparrow. saw a black bird with red wings, it was a red winged blackbird. gray bird that sounds like a cat? gray catbird. the first time i saw a house finch it was perched on a windowsill. However, some birds are the red-bellied woodpecker
I gotta google something real quick
who named this bird
Official ornithology post
Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.
He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"
"What?"
He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"
"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."
Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.
Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.
#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty
Behold, Dorothea
(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)
I should also add- I ran into my rabbi and explained the situation. I then asked, earnestly, if there was a remedy. A mikveh of sorts, or a beit din, or something.
He turned to me, sighed, and said in a very deadpan tone-- "Plants don't have covenants, Joy,"
So Dorothea's a free agent according to rabbinic opinion. I guess I'll permit her to be Roman Catholic.
in a world where happy rich people sell the discontent lower class the lie that money cant buy you happiness it is at least reassuring to know that our sole trillionaire is the most pathetic, unloved, miserable, alone human being on the planet, and that NOTHING could make him happy. get fuckeddd lol
"money can't buy you happiness" factoid actualy just statistical error. average wealthy person buys happiness every day. moneys georg, who has a trillion dollars and is miserable for 30 hours each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
