my army of words.

"that's why i write, because life never works except in retrospect. and writing makes you look back. because since you can't control life, at least you can control your version." -- stranger than fiction, chuck palahniuk

back from vacationing in new orleans, and i must say it was pretty fantastic - aside from the ever present heat/humidity. and the weight gain as a result from the awesome, awesome food.

things i ate:
- gator. in both bites and jerky form
- oyster po’ boy
- beignets and hot chocolate
- red beans and rice
- jambalaya
- pralines
- fried: shrimp, catfish, and oysters
- tilapia with crawfish atchafalaya sauce
- grits
- fried green tomatoes with shrimp and atchafalaya sauce
- gumbo

and those are only the items i remember. there was also a japanese dinner, but that was more out of my stomach cannot handle anymore fried food than lack of desire of wanting more southern food (as there are a number of things i still wish i ate. ...but i guess that just gives me a reason to go again in the future). and though i’d really like to find a career that would allow me to travel around and eat, i’m all too certain that it is for the best that i have a desk job.

on a side note: i made jambalaya for our sunday dinner. i’ve made it before, but we can pretend it was more special this time around as we just came back from new orleans. ...also because quite a few of the ingredients were fresh from the farmers market.

aside from the food, the thing that i probably enjoyed most about being in the south is how nice everyone is down there. just walking around and having people say hi, how are you doing? and being able to pick up a brief conversation from there. not that people in huntington beach are rude or impolite, but people were just that much friendlier in new orleans. it still makes me smile just thinking about it.

notable events:
- swamp tour. saw two gators. also got a tan in just a matter of minutes.
- in opelousas: we ain’t got none of that fancy stuff here. ...when the husband asked about the beer selection.
- we bought a fertility voodoo doll. accordingly to the saleswoman, she’s gotten very good feedback.
- a young boy (maybe 8 years old?) threw me some beads.
- visited the wwii museum. the 4D movie experience was pretty epic.
- stumbled into a bar run by a transvestite.
- became “regulars” at another bar and befriended the bartender!
- dreamy weenies. is that a good or a service!?
- met a PBR salesman at a bar. witnessed the husband actually turn down a free beer!
- tour of the housing that is part of brad pitt’s make it right deal. unfortunately, no brangelina sighting.

and the reason we went to louisiana? his friend’s wedding! just darling. the church reminded me of a walk to remember, and i just absolutely loved that the couple used the bride’s grandparents’ wedding rings and that the bride wore her mother’s gown. wonderful wedding, wonderful couple.

there are days where it is very hard to get up in the morning. not physically - though it sometimes feels like it - just mentally. sometimes emotionally. point is: there is very little motivation to start the morning up aside from the financial aspect. you know, since i like crazy little things like eating and having a roof over my head. but i eventually crawl out of bed (after two snoozes, which i'm sure the husband hates) and start my daily routine*: brush, shower, dress, grab my lunch, and drive off. the highlight of my morning is usually around the time i've parked and start walking into the office when my daily thought email from realsimple.com comes through. sometimes it doesn't take a lot to make me happy. ...though there are some days when these emails are more thought provoking than others. there are also days where the daily thought contradicts the day prior, but i guess i can live with that.

"choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." -- confucius

and obviously that is something that i think about and that we are working on, what with the whole idea of a husband and wife catering duo. no additional jobs coming in yet, but we're making progress. he's already taken his safeserv test (i need to do mine soon), we've looked at some equipment that we'd potentially like to invest in (far in the future), and he's created invoices for future work (which are in duplicate!). i think we've even done a good job of not getting too far ahead of ourselves and so overwhelmed that we give up. capsize. though, i think we've thought far enough ahead to figure out how much needs to get done before we "never have to work a day in your life" like our friend confucius says. as much as i like to be dreamer, i am also quite realistic.

"success comes before work only in the dictionary." -- anonymous

since "never working" will be a while, there will probably be many more difficult mornings and an even greater need for naps, but i do really try to remain positive calm. it just gets very difficult, if not tiring, having to deal with it all the time. just because you don't understand what i do doesn't mean i don't do anything. not liking me doesn't have to result in being unprofessional. hell, i don't like a lot of people and i know that a lot of people don't like me. we've all got opinions, but let's try to keep it cordial.

"opinions are like assholes. everybody's got one and everyone thinks everyone else's stinks."


*by the way, i've perfected this routine so i can sleep in as much as possible, leave the house looking halfway decent, and make it to work reasonably on time. goals. i'm not 100% proud of this.

i've decided (more like i've always known), that livejournal was good for my sanity. more than anything, it gave me some quiet time just for myself where i could sit and reflect and organize my thoughts. kind of like the internet's version of yoga (i should start doing yoga again too). livejournal is pretty much a social media wasteland now, but i've somehow convinced myself that it'll come back again one day. and so i'm back too. and i'm trying this new thing where some posts will actually be public again. and i've put up a link on my facebook to my livejournal. i figure that now that social media is so prevalent now, i might as well just go with it. really, the only reason my journal became friends only in the first place was some unwelcome comment i received circa 2002. that was 10 years ago. i think it's been long enough.

and maybe it sounds kind of outrageous, but i was getting too comfortable being "friends only" on livejournal and it was spreading to other sites. not updating my facebook status, not pinning things on pinterest. but why? it dawned on me that i was concerned that i would write/post/pin this, that, or the other and it would offend someone that i knew somewhere at some time or would give someone a strange impression of me - as if pinning a new recipe i like could totally make someone think i'm a monster. so outrageous. i have know idea how these thoughts get into my head sometimes.

and then one day, i was reading through my beloved celebrity tabloids, and i came across this little gem:
if you try to be everything to everyone, you'll only end up completely confused.
and who in the world said that? katy perry. i know, right? i normally don't pay any attention to anything she says (and i sometimes hate that i love her), but that one caught my attention.

what's the point of all this rambling? i'll be honest - i don't really know other than:
here i am, and this is me.

what's new?
what. is. new.
What in the world is new?

for starters, we are moving in less than a month. i'm torn between being excited about this decision and dreading it. more than anything, we are moving because our rent is just getting too too high. we would technically be able to afford it, but i think it would be at too high of a cost. literally and figuratively. when would we ever be able to save up for a future, if we keep dumping money into rent every month? we've got big plans, and we're not sure if we'll ever get there with costs that high, so we're packing up and moving across town.

especially since the whole mega millions thing didn't work in our favor.
[[shaky fist, FSM]]

the new place:
it's closer to the beach (sort of) with cheaper rent. plus.
and the floor plan makes the place look bigger than our current digs. also a plus.
even though the place is actually 100 sq ft smaller than what we have now. minus. (though i'm fairly certain that a lot of the "lost" space is a result of us downsizing to only 1 bathroom. so this is probabaly a wash. ha! bathroom. wash.).
but we won't have a patio anymore, and we'll be on the second floor. huge minus.
it'll be fine though. right? i think that more than anything the things i'm dreading most are:
1] learning about new neighbors. i have gotten quite used to my crazy/typically noisy upstairs neighbors
2] packing. and then unpacking.

speaking of:
anyone interested in helping us move some larger pieces of furniture? the burlier the better. we have some heavy furniture. ...so i've heard. we'll pay you in pizza and beer!

other news?

we've started our cookies, catering, etc. business: ginger and rocket co. we totally had our first catering gig about a month ago. it was for my mom, but it still counts. she's a fantastic tipper, by the way! and the food was good. the food is always good. we're going to be a million pounds (each) one day, but that's part of my plan anyhow. you know, pudge him up and then keep him to myself.

i'm hilarious. it'd be even funnier if the scales weren't already tipping.
noi'mnotpregnanti'mjustgettingfatthanks.

“Where there is great love, there are always miracles.”
― Willa Cather

i am totally aware that two entries ago was also entitled "countdown," but that was before beyonce's new video was out.



we're getting close. i'm talking about 3.5 weeks out.

for the most part we are just ready to get past this part, go off on our european tour, and come back to a normal life. one where every waking moment isn't consumed with wedding planning activities and you aren't obsessed with checking the mailbox for response cards or checking your registry.

(on a side note: i've learned that people are not timely when it comes to response cards or purchasing weddings presents. at all. ...at our shower, i was convinced that no one loved us and that no one was coming because i had checked the bed bath and beyond site religiously, and nothing had been purchased. then like 50+ people show up. all of our gifts were purchased that morning).

but i guess life won't be totally "normal."

for one, i'm fairly certain that we will have a huge stack of credit card bills to pay off. i, for one, find that pretty outrageous because who would have thought that getting married lakeside on a mountain top would be this expensive!? but then on top of that: we'll be married.

OMG.

and no, this isn't a cold feet, freaking out kind of thing. we totally work and balance each other. like beyonce said in a recent interview (and yes, i am totally quoting a beyonce interview. she made it on to my list of cool chicks some time circa "irreplaceable"):

"We have been together since I was 20 years old. We took our time and developed an unbreakable friendship before we got married," she says. "But, like anything great and successful in your life, marriage takes hard work and sacrifice. It has to be something both you and your husband deeply want."

She adds: "The best thing about marriage is the amount of growth you have because you can no longer hide from your fears and insecurities. There's someone right there calling you out on your flaws and building you up when you need the support. If you are with the right person, it brings out the best version of you."

and honestly, we're kind of like beyonce and jay-z (except for the rich and famous part). i really do think that we bring out the best in each other. and, i think more than anything, he is my absolute best friend. and we both realize that love and marriage isn't always sunshine and smiles and pooping rainbows, but we still want this and are willing to work hard. and even when we get way old and essential parts don't function as they once did, i know that we'll be okay. because we're more than just that. for example, one of the many reasons why i love him is because he makes me laugh. and i make him laugh. and i laugh when i make him laugh (because i can be that funny sometimes). ...and i don't think things like that go away.

and so in 4 weeks when life doesn't go back to "pre-engagement normal," i think i will be okay with that. i'll have a husband and a new beginning and a future that we can't wait to get to.

the kid in front is my favorite for life.