the touch starved traumatized tgirl would like to awkwardly sit near you and not initiate contact

can anyone find the satiric newspaper headline that might have been something other than the onion that was along the lines of “‘This Is More Relevant/Timely Than Ever,’ Says Theater Company About to Put on Oldass Play Worse Than Has Ever Been Done Before”

how it feels to start your email with "dear [name]":

how it feels to start your email with "hi [name]":

how it feels to start your email with "hello [name]":

saying out loud "wait why am i watching this" and shutting off the crappy youtube video you were just using to kill time is a sign of growth

Welcome back to the 53rd annual Dust Bowl it's the Overgrazers versus the Droughts, looking to be an exciting game this year, uh let's turn it over to Jimmy how's it lookin out there on the field Jim

Jim: [completely obscured and barely audible] Thank you Tom I'm really glad you asked Tom it's brown

guess what I'm fucking makingggg

first time making crab rangoons, sorry

... :D ?

Every time I see a Season Greasons post, I can’t help but wonder how many people actually know that image is from Man After Man and is supposed to be future evolved humans killing each other for food

I’m sorry please elaborate what is Man After Man

And why are the evolved humans so hairy

Man After Man is a book by Dougal Dixon on the speculative evolution of man after climate change, genetic engineering, and environmental collapse leads to the engineering of new human species to fill those biological niches, which then goes completely wild when society totally collapses and evolution runs wild.

As for why they’re so hairy? To survive in the freezing tundra. Why are they in the tundra? No idea. New human subspecies are created seemingly just to exist. However, be glad that they are hairy cause it’s the non hairy ones that are really horrifying.

Like the aquatics…

Or the space avocados Vacuumorph who were engineered to build spaceships for the elite…

Or these fucked up horsed people…

I got this far down the rabbit hole. Might as well dive deeper.

Goddamnit. Why did I even mention those? I don't want to be known as the Man After Man tumblr 🤦

Well you know the guys from the meme?

Well over the course of Two million years, they eventually go from that to this...

Yep, the hunters have now become literal Parasites who feast off the blood and fat of the now massive and hairless tundra walker Hosts

But it doesn't end there. You remember how it was mention that there were spaceships being built? Well those humans eventually return to Earth after several million years. And do you want to guess what they do?

This...

They turn the Hosts into this, massive immobile mountains of flesh harvested for meat as quickly as it grows.

So yeah, that's what the Season Greasons meme is all conected to and I am angry that knowledge of this takes up actual space in my brain

yearning not for the material conditions of the past but its freedom from all these fucking cameras

i still can’t believe “our age of bronze is collapsing” is a line from the odyssey. bro i can’t believe we’re in the middle age right now. it’s such a nice day in feudal japan rn. i’m so glad we are having this agricultural revolution.

In complete honesty, my belief in copyright and piracy is that studios need to make media available 24/7 or else they lose rights to it.

You want to stop making DVDs? Cool put it on a streaming service. Want to take it off streaming services? Cool start making DVDs. You don’t want to do either? Cool you can’t take people to court for burning it onto CDs or sharing it. That’s just keeping the media alive.

And none of this “well you can go on eBay and get it for $80” nope. You need to be actively distributing it.

I bet raising your arm and summoning a weapon for you to grasp feels good as fuck

99 inch nails: I wanna fuck you like a luftballoon

why is everything a dead wife to you people.

my dead skateboarding cousin

Memento Throckmori

*tamp tamp*

ah i see youve noticed me tamping down the soft earth

i respectfully request that we bring this meme back because i think it came before its time. we werent ready in 2013. i think were ready now

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