Alcoholic Anorexic

So, no one has posted here in years.
This makes me so sad. I'm 24 and this was my youth.
Livejournal and its communities helped me through all of my troubled times as a youth, the troubled times I'm still fighting through now. I have the same goals, same problems, same idols. I still drink until I'm unconscious. I still starve and punish myself for being simply who I am. I still want to look like Nicole Richie and Mary-Kate Olson.
Here I sit, alone in a bar I frequent. Always alone. I'm not here to make friends. If someone approaches me, I'm cold.
I'm here to drink.
I'm here to pretend.
To put on a false face as I do everyday.

But I'm Katie Rebecca Cooper. That's all I've ever been.
I'll run from it until I die.
The only thing that has changed is that I'm labeled an "adult." I'm supposed to be.
But I pay my bills days late and I struggle for money. I am not what I was supposed to become.
I sing karaoke to feel like a star. People compliment me, but they have no idea what I could be.
I cry on cue but they have no idea.
I starve myself and they have NO IDEA.
I'm a loser.
Life looks so long, bleak, and boring.
I have no goals. No friends. Nothing.

Is there anybody out there?

Name: Tea
Age: 22
Location: australia (melbourne)
Weight: 165lbs:( typing that and reading that makes me reach for the wine and want to cry.
BMI: 23.7:(
Type of ED: Ednos. was anorexic but tryed to recover and gained too much weight to fit that category now. but its going down again...
Favourite drink: red wine (there is currently 86 bottles of it in my house, and no food.. unless u count a stick of ginger and half a lime), vodka, straight or with soda, shots, of any straight or mixed non sweet liquors, 1800, any type of vodka, makers mark, beer (when i am hungry and need a pickmeup) i work in a bar. this is a highly dubious occupation for someone like me!
Favourite book: anything by charles bukowski, factotum, the dirt on the motley crue, wasted by marya hornbacher
Best piece of advice you can share: when you think you have fallen too far you can always fall further! so be careful before its too late!

well im not sure how active this community is but i want to make it happen i want some new friends who dont judge me for where i am at! hope you are all having a good night. i am feeling better as the contents of this bottle of wine goes down!
tea xx

so i haven't posted in a god awful long time.... i have gained some weight :( kill me now why don't you, i used to be 154# now i am 184#, i need to get back on my diet. i cannot, i repeat cannot be 6'7" and be 184#, i need to be my 154# again... so here's goes nothing, I'll get there no matter what...

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sauce

I've now lost 95 pounds, total.

I weigh only 5 pounds more than I did @ 16 years old.

I wasn't ultra-thin THEN either, but, I'm still workin' on it.

w00t.

I think I'll have a drink.

Name: Alexandra.
Age: Nineteen.
Location: Liverpool, England. I'm not actually from here, I just live here.
Weight: Last friday I was 132 lbs. This friday I was 142 lbs. This is what my weight is like.
BMI: 22.9. Ew, looking that up just made me feel sick. Eugh eugh eugh.
Type of ED: Ednos. There's no other way to describe it really. This week has been such a binge week. I even gave up purging by Tuesday because it was so constant.
Favourite drink: Wine before heading out, vodka diet coke while out, coupled with a few sambuca shots. If I had to pick one, I guess sambuca.
Favourite book: I'm trying to get through Crime and Punishment at the moment.
Best piece of advice you can share: Drinking on an empty stomach means you need to spend less on alcohol ... or you can get even drunker than you would otherwise.

I know you can research this stuff, but if you happen to know, save me some time ;)

- Lowest calorie shots of alcohol
- Lowest calorie mixed drink ideas

I know I stick with Rum & diet coke.
Or vodka & pineapple juice.
Just curious for ideas.

Thanks.

I went out with some friends a while back and secretly drank to myself... when I came back they mentioned if I drank.. Which I denied.. But they said they could still smell alcohol on my breath. Any suggestions on strong gum/mints? Or any ideas to cover up drinking? Plz & thnx.

I was out with my boyfriend.. On an empty stomach of course, and drank a pint of raspberry Smirnoff.
Yep, I slammed it and don't remember the rest of the night. Haha.
Sucks though because I guess I ate a bunch of cheese bread.. Damnit. I hate drunken munchies.

Other than that, I'll have two drinks max.
I love double vodka & tonic. Or double grey goose and pineapple. I feel like they're too much sugar.. What do you think?

I need low cal drinks!

Name: Lucrezia
Age: 24
Location: London
Weight: 129lb (yuk)
BMI: 20.5
Type of ED: Once upon a time I was anorexic. I've been bulimic (mostly of the binge-starve cycle variety, rather than the traditional) for a long time now
Favourite drink: Red wine. But I'm also a fan of gin, whisky, creme de menthe, white wine, cider and all kinds of cocktails.
Favourite book: Oranges are not the only fruit
Best piece of advice you can share: Don't try to subsitute alcohol for food and vice versa. That's how you end up alcoholic, and still with an ed. Oops :p