An Aerodrome in the Niigata Hills

3 years ago today, we put down Ruger, our 8 year old German Shepherd.  It was one of the hardest decisions we ever made and we still miss him so very much.  I posted about him in Jan 2021, a few days after we said goodbye.

I always joked that I didn’t trust the American tech companies so why throw rocks at livejournal for being a Russian one?

But at least American tech companies aren’t trying to openly start WWIII. As a paid user, I have to think a little about who I'm supporting.

Is this the end for us, livejournal friends? Are you leaving?

I have a dreamwidth account. I guess the option is there for us — I'm just curious what everybody is doing? I am not making a decision right now, just going back and forth. Obviously this poll will be biased because my target audience here is people who are on livejournal! But I know a lot of folks are already on DW so maybe we can sync up over there? 

It was the first week of the fall semester.  He was 5'10" 130, with pale skin, glasses, splotchy stubble, and a punk rock t-shirt falling off of his bony shoulders.  Not my type at all.  I liked the foreign boys: Russians, Israelis, accents, black leather, bad boy vibes...  My jaw dropped as he confidently sidled up to me after class to ask me out.  Not just because of him; because of me!  I was the heaviest I'd ever been and I hated myself for it.  My diary overflowed with loathing and self incriminations and my life reflected the darkness within.

Persistance is how he won me, that and honest admiration.  It melted me and seeing myself through his eyes, I started to love myself again.  He would reach for my hand in the hallways and walk with me, proud, possessive.  I loved it.  We spent our breaks in his little red '92 Nissan NX, going over memory work, smoking Salem Black Label cigarettes and having deep conversations while his hand rested casually on my thigh, igniting fires but not pushing anything.  

Sweet, warm smoke and a beautiful bubbler under his front seat.  Head thrown back and relaxed, and under my skirt, a garter belt for him to find.  He was patient while he waited for me; I in my naivety thought we could last forever playing the game.