On some days i really think i should have kept that blond boy (Laine was it, no?) and dumped my sorry excuse of a son next to the road instead.
On some days i really wish i had never picked Molochai and Twig up at that darn party long, long ago.
On some days it seems as if fucking Ann just wasn't such a great idea after all as it would have saved everybody a whole lotta trouble and let's face it- a good 80% in that club would have been a better fuck anyway.
To be honest, on some days it seems that even fucking Christian's skinny girlfriend wasn't the brightest idea i've ever had. Refer to #1 for more detail.
He glares at his reflection in the neatly polished mirror and deliberately raises a pair of kitchen scissors to his face. Usually, Molochai or Twig would be doing that but seeing as neither of them have shown up in.. well... a long-ass time, he's left with nobody but himself to take care of his hair. His hair has always been growing rather fast and those long, loose strands that keep tickling his face all the time have been annoying him for quite some time already. He is well aware of the fact that he has not bothered to wash out the blood from last night yet and that he is most likely going to horribly disfigure himself with even attempting to achieve something akin to a hairstyle but he couldn't care less right now. Of course, he could just ask Christian for help. He is very well aware of the fact that Christian obviously manages to trim his hair on his own. But he never asks anyone for help. He can do things on his own- always has, always will.
The sun is close to rising again when he finally comes home from wherever he has been that night, whatever he has done that night. Quietly, the door opens and he slips into the dark bar, leaving ugly red stains on the floor. As he descends the stairs to the upper floor, he systematically loses his shoes, jacket and shirt; perfectly aware of the fact that someone most likely Christian is going to fall over the clothes the next day.
Christian is gonna kill me... *snorts*
As he raises a hand to quickly stroke back a particular annoying, wet strand of hair, a few droplets of blood drip from his fingers and onto the carpet on the first floor. Absently, he rubs over the dark blotches with his feet, only spreading the stain, making it worse, and staining his black socks as well. He shrugs and then proceeds to stumble into his lonely room, leaving red fingerprints on the door handle and white walls in the process. He brushes back his sticky and already partly stiff hair again and growls, all too aware of the fact that he really shouldn't have done it all on his own- it's way too messy and more than a little dangerous but really, who'd have come with him? Despite all of the fighting and dissing, they were still family to him and now, with all of them gone, he is left with something even worse than boredom. If boredom is a sin, like he remembers he once told Twig and Molochai, then loneliness surely has to be the ultimate sin. It's been a long time since he last felt it- he always made sure to avoid it at all costs- but it still hit him full force.
So this must be how Christian has been feeling all of this time...
He slightly flinches at that thought, feeling almost guilty for thinking about "family" and not including Christian like he should do. Nothing, Molochai and Twig- they belong to him. Are a part of him and always will be. Christian is his own person. He lives his own life. His absence does hurtbother him in a way but not like this- not in this heart-wrenching way that makes him want to tear at his own flesh and rip the pain out. Losing a part of oneself hurts and even though he'd never confess this to anyone, he's not immune to that pain. And there's anger. A whole lot of anger. Deep down, something inside of him feels tossed aside. Not wanted anymore. It's not a constant, dull feeling but like a bolt that hits him every now and then and leaves him in a blind rage. A blind rage that results in nights like this, with the leftovers of young boys scattered all over a deserted alley. He thoughtfully sucks on a blood-stained finger and then proceeds to get out of the remaining clothes.
In his own, strange way, Christian has always been there for him, worrying about him and he hates the part of himself that is reaching out to that kindness. He is not dependent on other people after all- he can handle things on his own. On some days tho, it would be nice to just lay back and let someone else take control for a little while. Just like in the old days when he would close his eyes in the back of the van and open them again in whatever place it was that Twig's drunken driving took them.
He crawls into the big bed, staining the white sheets a rusty red but not caring one bit, then closes his eyes.
So the Ghost-boy finally arrived in New Orleans. Now, for how long will he stay until he runs off screaming again? *smirks* And I wonder why he didn't bring that idiot friend of his with him- maybe the guy did the only right thing and finally died? Somehow, I am glad that the blond boy arrived though. It keeps my mind away from other things.
*slowly walks toward the empty bed*
Something tells me that he might be in troubles- not that I am worrying or anything. Just watching out for what is mine. I swear, if someone even touched him they're gonna wish they've never been born. Molochai and Twig are still missing as well so this place seems very deserted and empty. Even their smell is slowly fading, not to mention that their beds are cold and I haven't seen candy wraps in ages. I miss picking at Christian for not getting rid of them. *snorts* Naturally, I spent Halloween away from the bar to spare myself the sight of everybody being happy and partying Christian in women's underwear.
*chews on a hoho and tosses the wrap on the floor* ... someonething's missing here and this is eating on my good mood. *growls*
Okay, so i am back again from my little trip as you might call it. I highly doubt anyone missed me at all but living with Christian makes you do strange things... like develop a conscience (sometimes) or something akin to manners so mark that day in your darn calendar Christian, because you ain't hearing that one again in a long time: Sorry for taking off without saying a word Stop fucking worrying about me when I'm gone! It is freaking me out.
Even tho Molochai and Twig still cannot be found, their scent and garbage is all over this place. There are too many people around for my taste- the whole bar is alive and especially with Christian being in love and not his usual gloomy self, it really get unbearable here sometimes. Which was the main reason for me taking a few days off and wandering around. Bought presents for Nothing to keep the boy in a good mood especially now that Ghost is around as well.
Talking about Ghost, here's a little welcome present to Ghost-boy whom I haven't had a chance to beat up for the headache he caused me talk to yet. Found those lyrics and liked them.
you had a way so familiar i could not recognize cause you had blood on your face and i had blood in my eyes but i swear by your expression that the pain down in your soul was the same as the one down in mine that's the pain that cuts a straight line down through the head heart
My boy has finally come back from la-la land to join Christian and I again which is a good thing- I almost feel like partying again. *smirks* Plus, it seems as if Nothing and I are going to share a room from now on which will most definitely turn out to be very interesting and entertaining. We're still missing Molochai and Twig though. i really wonder where the heck they are. On the other hand though, there's all kinds of candy-wraps floating around in this goddamn place so they can't be far. The only other explanation would be that Christian has developed a sweet tooth and this is very unlikely.
Talking about Christian, he has been a bit weird lately. Even more than usual. He considered buying a tv-set for god's sake and even though I am aware of the fact that I am not in the best mood most of the time, I don't think I am that bad that he needs to replace my company with a tv-set. Really. I am almost grateful that he seems to have found himself some kind of girlfriend now. Miss Sin is a lovely lady and I am sure the company will do him good. I just hope that having a girlfriend won't keep him from at least attempting to clean the bar every once in a while. I tripped over an empty bottle of green booze yesterday. Messy, Christian, messy.
I guess when they said that vampires are notoriously hard to kill, I never thought it would be that hard. Apparently it is tho since I am still (or again) alive and kicking and sitting here, bored out of my mind. It appears everybody else just took off (and in my van at that!) so I am on my own until we bump into each other again some time. I guess i'll just have to keep myself amused on my own til then. Not. Christian, I know you're here so in case you're reading this, give me a call. I'm bored. Think of something to amuse your dear, old friend. *smirks*
