[Chantico is video posting from the Tlachtli court on deck, donned in nothing but a leather belt, her headress brimmed with poisonous cacti and yellow and red face/body paint. She throws the ten pound rubber ball into the air and catches it.]
I invite the persons on this ship to a game of Tlachtli. The weather may be cool but once the fire in your limbs begin to burn there will be no thought of the cold. Come. We will play together as a family once more [She really is addressing her brothers and sisters]. Let us pay tribute to the bodies we share and the blood that has been spilled tonight.
Commoners [THAT MEANS YOU BARGE PEOPLE], you are of course permitted to watch. To play with us, however, is a punishable offense. This is your first and only warning. You are also free to start bets, as is the custom. Perhaps you could win gold, fine clothing or even your freedom from this ship [HUR HUR YEAH RIGHT]
[First video is painfully public as Severen is trying to figure out how to use specific filters on his communicator]
No. No. To draculas, like that Mott cocksucker you stupid cell of Japanese built trash.
[Filtered to all Draculas (This may include Franklin)]
[You get a kind of besotted look from Severen.]
Blade Runner piece of shit...
[Filtered to all Umpires]
Fuck no! That ain't... motherfucker.
[Filtered to all Vampires]
Jesus, Mary an' Johnny Cash the holy trinity thank fuck. NOW [He claps} I want y'all to sound off. I seen more than a few of you bottlin' it up from the dinin' hall. How many of us are here now? We could have a good thing goin', minority becomin' a majority an' all.
Any of y'all know where I can get my hands on a workin' TV around here that picks up NBC? Gotta see if there's a Bonanza re-run on somewhere. Some cocky ass english fuck ain't got a clue what it is. I mean, it's Bonanza. What kind of mentally defunct man ain't seen Bonanza??
[Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzt. A radio buzzes in and it's time fooooorrrrrrrr]
Cowboy crunchies, the only breakfast cereal that is frosted and dipped in chocolate proudly presents...
[The olde timey whimey theme tune of an old Saturday morning cowboy puppet show. It plays in its entirety. THIS WEEK on Woody's Roundup Stinky Pete and Jesse are trapped on a runaway stage coach and oh gosh it's heading for the grand canyon! It's up to sheriff Severen Woody along with his trusty steed Bullseye to catch the coach and get them to safety! Will the sheriff make it in time or will this be the devastating end of Stinky Pete and sweethearted Jesse?! Will we ever find out why Sheriff Woody has had a taste for human blood recently? TUNE IN NEXT WEEK FOR "The Big Drop!"]
[FREE FOR ALL SPAM]
[There is a pullstring cowboy doll lying outside of Severen's cabin door next to a communicator. You swear you just saw it move out the corner of your eye. But... he can't do that. He's just a puppet. A toy! A child's plaything! Will you pick him up? What pearls of wisdom will you learn once you pull his pullstring, curious people of the barge!?]
Fuckin' snow. I can't believe it. All those chests an' legs covered up an' all instead of bein' all out. Cryin' shame it is. If I had any mind I'd just take over this boat an' send it down Mexico way for the winter. Wouldn't be too hard to do, eh? Probably like hotwirin' a car.
Yeah.
Easy as pie.
[Private to Abigail] I think I was nice to you an' shit durin' that flood. Does that get me bar privileges or what? [Private to Saffron] Hey, darlin'. Apparently I can time travel an' missed a couple of weeks. Didn't miss me too much did ya?
[Private to Franklin] I oughta snap your neck. [PAUSE] Let's get a proper drink, yeah? Found a way to get into that fucking bar yet?
[Severen’s curious face flickers on screen. It’s him alright after a brief absence, but something about the vampire is a little… off. His face is still dirty, but it's a dusty kind of grit as opposed to his usual grime. Bags etch under his eyes and the voice that comes from his throat holds an accent that his a little thicker than before. His leather jacket and red plaid undershirt are replaced by plain calico button up stained by blood that for the first time in a while doesn't belong to anyone else but himself.
His bottom lip is swollen and bruised, like he was on the losing end of a struggle instead of a winning one which may have caught a certain vampire's attention. Severen peers into the communicator, believing it to be some kind of mirror. His jaw moves from side to side painfully, a bruise starting to appear under the curve of his mandible. Before he talks, he spits to the floor next to him. The bolus is red.]
Fuck it, Sev. You gotta duck the left hook. Duck it, not stand there lookin’ like a degenerate cocksucker. That piece of shit took that twenty dollars from me an’ then I wake up here without a fuckin’ clue. Even stole my fuckin’ horse. I won that beast fair an’ square and he goes off an’ takes it. [He winces in pain, his fingers finding another sore spot on his face] Shit. My poor moneymaker. Ain’t never gonna hear the end of it.
[OOC: Severen lost a fight instead of winning one that would have caught the attention of Jesse, his maker, back in 1870. Thus, he's human. Also excuse all my timey whimey language as I'm basing it primarily on Deadwood. ;-)]
[The video buzzes on at a low angle shot of Severen's face, his tongue jutting out the side of his mouth in a look of SHEER CONCENTRATION]
Is this shit on? Alright! This is for you... squirrelly british twat in zero.
[The camera is being moved now. You can see the bars of a bicycle as the shot is being turned around to view the inside of a vile looking cabin with junk everywhere. The unmistakable sound of duct tape being pulled away from its roll is heard before the video shuts off]
[BLINK]
[It snaps back on again and the camera is pointed straight down one of the corridors of the barge. Level 7. Its lower than eye height capture indicates that his communicator has indeed been duct taped to the handlebars of Homer's bicycle. A finger raps infront of the camera as a voice hums idly. There are the sounds of hurried running coming from the deck above. NO TIME FOR THAT NOW. The voice stops humming though when Sexby steps out of Angelica's room, idly wandering down the corridor, probably on the way to dinner.]
Game on motherfucker.
[There is a shaking of the camera and the clicking of the bike wheels turning. The video moves forward, towards sexby. It speeds up. A fist is raised in the corner and as Sexby's head comes closer and closer the fist swings and connects.]
WOOO HOO! BULLSEYE!
[Severen pulls the bell of the bike a few times. Tires SCREEEEEEEEEEEE across the floor as the camera swings back to Sexby rubbing the back of his head in confusion, a distance away now.]
[Sexby looks up and glares,] Come back here and face me like a man, you coward! [He doesn't look best pleased.]
[There's a short cackle of laughter before Severen pedals away and the video feed snaps off]
[Severen was lazily reclinin' upright against the corridor on the 5th floor. He dragged on his cigarette slowly, enjoying the burnt flavor on his tongue while he waited for his wardenette to take him topside. Thank fuckin' god this boat actually landed somewhere, now it was his chance to make a run for it and have some real fun. Being on this boat had made him fidgety. He missed the air, and of all things he missed the night]
[Last week on Severen's Barge Adventure: Eventually John and Abbigail Marston caught up with the loudmouth southerner. The vampire brandished a (plastic) knife at the couple from afar, hoping they would think twice about coming after him. With his leg healed up he was ready to have a go. Too quick however was Abigail Marston's trigger finger and he was dis(non)armed quick enough. In the confusion, John quickly got his lasso around him and proceeded to carry Severen down to zero like a sack of nasty cussing potatoes. He's been in there a day or so now and he's not eating the food they give him. In a tantrum he's barking at the latest warden who happens to be in zero at the time, gripping his hands around the bars and practically spitting.]
-- and another thing! I don't give a shit about redemption or whatever the fuck y'all talkin' about. You come a bit closer to this cage and I'll show you how you can get redeemed, right up your ass. [And he does quite a rude hand gesture just there] I ain't gonna be your dream inmate, I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare. Actual cowboys runnin' around hogtyin' whoever the fuck they want? And they are the ones in charge? Hey! HEY HEY HEY! Are you listenin' to me?? I got rights! I got a whole fist of them right here. When my crew shows up y'all gonna have 'nother thing comin' to you. l--
[Notices communicator on the ground BLINKING at him.]
Ah, shiiiiiit.
[And he kicks it across the cell]
[ooc: anyone who is in zero at the moment, feel free to spam]
amused