Good To Know That if I Ever Need Attention All I Have to do is DIE

so.. we're nerds.. an we dress up for pirate movies

sooo
Alamo Draft House had a midnight viewing of the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie!
naomi and i dressed up and got drunk, it was sooo much fun!
she was full pirate
she had a shirt w/ a skull, a platinum blonde wig, an bandana, a sword... the whole nine.
i went a different route..
i wore these pants with skulls on em, an these crazy black and red shoes, and a Pirates baseball shirt. big silver hoops and a crazy ponytail... it was SOO fun
we were walkin in an these guys were like 'seeee i told you it was a cult thing'
the thing is, besides the servers, we were like THE ONLY people dressed up, but it was so much fun!

after the movie, i saw this guy that i was CONVINCED was alan, and man.. it was the ugly version, he looked just like him. well one of his friends came up to me and asked me for a cigarette, an they wanted to invite us to this party, but it wasnt there place, so they went on their way.
so when we got home i called alan. hopefully well hang out tonight.. but i was so sure that guy was him... same height, build, haircut.. it was crazy...

anywho... we're uploading the pics from last night on monday.. so ill show yall how freakin hot we were!

yay! i love my roommate!!!
and my apartment!
and... yea.. its been great so far.
so what if i got my paycheck yesterday and its already gone cuz of rent. this months been kinda hard cuz of the moving in on a 2 day notice. but after this.. it shouldnt be bad.

on another note, we signed up for classes.
im taking 16 hours!
ive got 3 classes with naomi.. those aree:

Intro to Bio for Nonmajors 1408
Humanities 1301
Speech Interpersonal Communications 1318
yay.. we have all of those together

and then i have
English 1302
History 1301

all by myself... but ill get over it.

so yea.. im wayyy excited about school.. plus we can share the books instead of spending a billion dollars on those
so yea...
im excited

ps.. i need a job..
nothing major. just something part time to keep me occupied..
so if anyone knows of anything..
besides a server job.. i really dont feel like doing that
infact.. i loathe it.. so yea.
help me.. if you want..

i think the rest of the world fails to realize how ridiculously impatient i am.
seriously.
have you ever seen me at a red light. i start twitching. i hate to wait.
so dont call me. and tell me you'll be here in 10 minutes.
as soon as that 10 minutes is up.. i start to throw things. mainly tantrums. but also dogs, and small children.
so when your fucking 30 minutes late, im going fucking crazy.
so note to the world.
dont make me wait. you might lose a limb.

have you ever said something so disgusting you were totally appalled?

well.. i dont usually know what im saying. its as much a surprise to me as it is everyone else.

so tonight, naomi and i were watching fellowship of the ring.
and you know that hobbit that follows frotto around?
well at the end, they're standing there, an the guy looks at him all... lovey.
and i was like 'man, he wants him bad. he wants to do him in the butt til it bleeds'
and as soon as i said it i couldnt stop laughing. i couldnt beleive i said that!

anywho.. i thought it was funny.

so im chillin at home on this lovely saturday.

ive been asleep since yesterday afternoon
because i took some happy pills the other day.
needless to say i was definatly happy for quite some time.
but i think i almost chewed my tounge off.
i know that sounds gross... but it really hurts
my tounge and the insides of my mouth are swollen.
its really weird.
but its ok. i just live off oragel now.



anywho i wanted you bitches to see my new pic.

so i realized today.
for the first time in my life, im totally deading myself to emotions i would generally drown myself in.

sounds lame huh.
but my mom is remarried now.
she didnt even tell me about it.
jus randomly showed me the ring the other day.
and today she signed a timesheet for me, and it has her new last name on there.

and part of me wants to cry my eyes out for hours.
but i think i finally realized that isnt going to get me anywhere.
so fuck it.
i know shes happy now.
but i have to live with my unhappy dad.
and its depressing.
but fuck it.
fuck the bull shit.
fuck it all.
my parents are individuals.
i can accept them not being together.

my mother has decided that her own pursuit of happiness is more important than the famiy she created.
i know shes selfish.
but i cant help that i love her.
so i have to love her for how she is now.
that doesnt mean i have to love her new husband.

what bothers me the most about her not telling me.
is that i have a stepfather now.
she didnt even tell me.
i have a stepsister, and a stepbrother.
and she didnt think i needed to know that.
i have a whole new family.
god knows if ill ever decide to accept that.
but technically its there.

fucking weird.

to bad i dont care.

but crappy cameras make me sad.. theres no saving these pics...




me and laura




we tried to get a good pic...


greg and laura





alcohol makes us silly

so laura and i went to 1415 last night
it was fun...
i was dumb an took my purse in an it got super annoying

met keaton up there
and some of his vitamin water friends
they were really nice

danced a little
had a lot of beer
tried a "dirty" martini... it was really yummy...
but i couldnt sip on those all night
id rather chug beer

saw these kids that me an naomi made friends with last time
the guy was like 'kerrryyy heeyyy remember me'
an it was cute.. cuz their 1415 kindergartners...
haha.. their really new to it.. an me an naomi decided to bring them into the whole thing

hahahah
granted im not as into it as her and laura, they know EVERYONE...
im gettin there

i love the bartender, hes way nice, an calls me doll.. granted he probally calls every girl that, i still love it

so yea, that was fun

then today i hid out at lauras house so my family would think i was out looking for a job.... i wasnt.

and i got my book for class... but.. i refuse to read it

until i get some adderall that is.. hehe...

anywho.. i gota go to bed cuz ive gota wake up tommrow

and YAY its my dads bday an we're takin him to miyako.. fun

so yea...

java house had been pissin me off lately

so when they wouldnt let me have saturday off... i decided.. what hte hell.. ill jus go out all night, go straight to work at 6:45 am, an sleep after i get off.
to me, it was a great plan. made sense, id done this a hundered times... riggghhttt.


back track to friday.

mel an laura come over
i had a bottle of courvoisier (sp?)
so we had some of that... uhhh EEWWW.. my dad was like 'oh yea, people love that stuff blah blah' wtf ever, it was gross.

so then we went to apple bees to have some beer an kill some time
greg met up with us.

then we went to the drive by june show
jem dedicated a song to me
it made me smile
then he said somethin bout the 'drunk ladies'
we loved that!

then we got split up somehow
an me an naomi end up sittin in front of ang an claytons forever waiting for mel an laura, who had apparently already been there.
we were tryin to kidnap lauren, but she wasnt havin it (booooo).

so eventually me, mel, laura, naomi, and greg end up at mels house
an we're drankin

then we put in panic! at the disco
an me, laura, naomi an greg start singing reallllyy loud
an mels like 'I FELL LIKE IM IN RENT!!!!'
haha.. it was great
then we sang some mariah carrey.. good times

somehow me an naomis drunk asses end up in the hot tub in shorts from mel, an our bras
next thing i know we're puking on the side of the house.

then we were like 'ok lets go home'
its about 5 in the morning
an we get on tanner road an naomis swervin like crazy
so im like 'DUDE LET ME DRIVE'
an i get in the driver seat, an cant figure out how to move the seat up, so i keep stallin out, an naomis like 'GIVE ME MY CAR BACK'
hahahha.. so i end up lettin her drive, cuz im jus as drunk as her
i get home at about 5:30... somewhere around there.


this is where it all goes bad.
my shift started at 6:45 am
well i laid down at like 5:45, an was thinkin.. i can lay down for about 20 minutes, not fall asleep, get up an ready for work an go.

somehow... (im thinkin maybe the 10 beers i drank) i ended up falling asleep.
woke up at 12:15, my shift ended at noon. i remember calling work, but i dont remember the conversation.

but in the end, im no longer employeed by java house coffee.... oh well

fuck that manager bitch, me an laura are gona slash the heifers tires.
see how she likes missing a shift, hopefully they fire the cow
haha...

dear live journal

i miss you.

i miss me and all my friends updating all the time. it seems you have been replace with myspace. as great as it is if you want to participate in a popularity contest, i miss seeing others feeling and innermost thoughts. its a funny concept, typing up all your feelings and then posting them for the world to see. but we did it, and we loved it, and sometimes we updated 4 times a day.

i think you were a good thing. people were writting again. something the youth of todays society hates. they hate thinking, reading and writting. they want to go to school, be trained to complete a task and then do that task every day for the rest of their life. what happened to exploration and adventure?

i think you were fun. myspace you just post pictures of yourself, and tell your friends how awesome you think they are and how much fun you had partying with them. and add random people you'll never talk to and never meet, just to feel like you accepted. there are 2 buttons with the utmost power on myspace. accept and deny. i hope next time i request a friend, the push the accept button and approve of me but thats not what it really means.


so yea.. im totally on adderall and ive been writting papers since 2 o'clock this afternoon. so why am i writting more? because there is still plenty going on in my head. and i like it. i like thinking.

"Thinking is one of the most unpopular amusements of the human race." That was said by the president of Columbia University in the 1930s. and its so sad, yet so true.

it sucks that i greatly enjoy it and others loathe it so much.

RANDOM POLL TIME who reads for entertainment, and who reads only when it is required by school/whatever..

seriously, i want honest answers. i dont care how random you think this post is, just click the comment button and tell me. do you enjoy reading? is it something you do for a past time, or simply for research.

personally, i read for entertainment. mostly novels.. also mostly james patterson, an authors like him.
sometimes i like reading essays written by incredibly educated people, that make me think.

so do you hate reading? because most people i know do.