The Whiteboard

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
candlenav
lunnefisk

harry dubois would end death note in one episode. he'd be unkillable bc he has no fucking idea what his name is and then he'd go drink driving and accidentally run light over and the killings would mysteriously stop

sylvansylvain

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Harry: Kim, what's following that kid?

Kim: ...

Harry: What?

Kim: What are you talking about?

Inland Empire [80%]

Looks like you're the only one who can see it.

Harry: The... bone monster?

Kim: The bone monster.

Harry: Yes. The bone monster.

rockergiirl

THE BONE MONSTER - As you approach it grins, watching you watching it.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Good morning officers."

YOU - Continue looking at the bone monster.

THE BONE MONSTER - It tilts its head to the side quizzically at you.

YOU - Tilt your head in response.

THE BONE MONSTER - It begins leering over you, grinning even harder.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - The kid turns towards you.

PERCEPTION [LEGENDARY: SUCCESS] - For a moment he looked at the bone monster, and then to you.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Is there a problem, officers?"

KIM - "You will have to forgive my partner, he has quite an active imagination."

THE BONE MONSTER - "You hear that? I'm just a part of your imagination."

INLAND EMPIRE - I don't think he's a part of your imagination.

meow-moment

This man... He can see Ryuk? But how? The only explanation is that he touched my Death Note, but I've had it with me all day! Did he sneak into my room last night while I was asleep? But, all my security measures were intact... And he seems confused, is he putting on an act? Let me see if I can...

"Pardon me officer, I don't think I caught your name?"

"Uh, well that's the thing, I, uh, don't actually remember it at the moment."

Damn him! He knows I need a name to kill, and now he's taunting me! He can see Ryuk, too, so one wrong move could end me! I might have to make the eye deal at this point...

---------------------------------

LOGIC [Medium, failure]: This bone monster is obviously Kira. You are fucked.

  1. Try to make Kim see the bone monster. [Suggestion, Legendary]
  2. Attempt to arrest the bone monster.
  3. Put yourself between the bone monster and Light.
  4. Ask Light for some money.
  5. Try to play it off as a joke and leave quickly. [Composure, Formidable]
transcyberism

> Attempt to arrest the bone monster

PERCEPTION [EASY: FAILURE] - You can't tell what gender it is.

YOU - "Excuse me, sir-- or, uh, madam?-- Bone... person..."

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs, a deep, gutteral sound, like air escaping from the lungs of a corpse. As its jaw moves, you can see rows upon rows of sharp teeth inside its gaping maw.

COMPOSURE [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS] - You stand your ground and manage not to freak out.

YOU - "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the police station. You... uh, match the description of a suspect... I think."

THE BONE MONSTER - It lets out a loud, phlegmatic belly laugh. "What are you going to do, arrest me?"

AUTHORITY - Damn right you are. Cuff him.

YOU - "Yes, as a matter of fact, I will. You are under arrest on suspicion of being Kira. Put your hands forward, wrists together."

KIM - "How exactly are you going to handcuff a hallucination, Detective?"

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs again, like this is the funniest thing in the world, before obediently sticking out its arms.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - His eyes go wide and his face goes pale as you place the cuffs on the monster's wrists, before his gaze darts to Kim.

KIM - He is staring at the cuffs. He looks bewildered. "Are those handcuffs... floating?"

-----------------------------------

Shit! Ryuk, why did you have to comply?! Is this a game to you? No matter... They still don't realize that I'm Kira, not Ryuk. All I have to do is stay calm and act surprised. I'm sure Ryuk can just escape later, once he gets bored. And this other cop obviously can't see him, so it seems it's only the first one who has touched a Death Note... I just need to make it seem that he's the only one who can see Shinigami. Then I'll seem innocent, and he'll be the suspicious one!

"How did you do that? Is it some kind of magic trick?"

--------------------------------------

SHIVERS [Heroic, Success]: As intimidating as it looks, the bone monster isn't the real threat.

  1. Deduce who the real Kira is [Logic, Godly]
  2. Ask Light what he knows about the bone monster.
  3. Tell Kim I-told-you-so.
  4. Convince Light you are a sorcerer [Drama, Impossible]
  5. Ask Light if he has any cigarettes.
behindnightmaresanddreams

I don't know shit about Harry's universe but I wanna see where this is gonna go. I vote cigarettes next.

optimisticlucio

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ospreyonthemoon

Someone wrote a fic where he hit light with his car. It is a brilliant piece of coding and fiction.

I'd HIGHLY reccomend it- there's only one chapter, really (the second one exists purely as a workaround to make something that would otherwise be a popup into a link because its way too long to be a popup) and its 32,000ish words.

screenshot from the linked story. It shows a disco elysium style visual calculus skill check.ALT
screenshot from the story showing the use of css to add popup comment blocks displaying what unchosen dialogue options would lead to.ALT
screenshot of the linked text showing interaction with L. he has a disco elysium style portrait to the side of the screen.ALT

Its fun you should check it out

I don't go to either of these places but I think I know people who do
untitled-violet
karvina

variations on "feel old yet" meme:

lying (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 36 years ago

lying (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 7 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 900 years ago

lying by a ridiculous amount (undershooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 15 minutes ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 118 years ago

real date of event no one reading was alive for or cares about: feel old yet? prince frederick henry died 395 years ago

event no one reading was alive for and also lying: feel old yet? the great san francisco earthquake happened 4 years ago

event that did not happen: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 48 years ago

event that did not happen and even if it did this would be a lie: feel old yet? brian mulroney was assassinated 197 years ago

real date of event on a cosmological scale: feel old yet? the sun was formed 4,600,000,000 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (undershooting): feel old yet? the sun was formed 12 years ago

lying on a cosmological scale (overshooting): feel old yet? the first episode of spongebob aired 12,000,000,000 years ago

real date of a personal anecdote that only you know or card about: feel old yet? i made a really good stir fry 5 years ago

reversal: feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 3 years

reversal on a cosmological scale: feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about event): feel young yet? the first episode of spongebob will air in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, overshooting): feel young yet? frozen 3 is coming out in 8,000,000,000 years

reversal (lying about time, undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 3 years

reversal (lying about time, really undershooting): feel young yet? the sun will collapse in 12 minutes

real date of a recurring event that wasn't very long ago: feel old yet? halloween was 13 days ago

lying about recurring event: feel old yet? halloween was 10,000 years ago

reversal of recurring event: feel young yet? thursday is tomorrow

reversal of personal anecdote: feel young yet? my laundry is done in 52 minutes

real(?) date of a nonspecific event: feel old yet? something happened 2 years ago

lying about the reader (undershooting): feel old yet? you were born 5 years ago

lying about the reader (overshooting): feel old yet? you were born 650 years ago

making a reasonable guess about the reader: feel old yet? you were born 22 years ago

technically telling the truth about the reader: feel old yet? you were born between 0 and 120 years ago

threatening the reader: feel young yet? you will die in 7 days

non sequitur: feel old yet? half of all chameleon species on earth live in madagascar

non sequitur (lying): feel old yet? chameleons are immune to fire

lying on several levels: feel old yet? chameleons were invented 36 years ago

self-reference: feel old yet? i started writing this post 40 minutes ago

giving up: feel old yyet?th e emmenkr,tn dbw a 8 gn m hk\

i can't finish the joke someone else come up with a punchline: feel old yet?

declarative statement: you feel old.

subversive declarative statement: time isn't even real.

reference another meme: feel old yet? yeah. this is the beach that makes you old.

reference another meme specifically about injecting non sequiturs into long posts: feel old yet? the glue that lets you walk up and down anything was invented 36 years ago

lunar-lumi