So, Chris and I finally broke up. We've been broken up for about a month now. Why did we break up you might ask?? Well, I got a job working in the deli at a Kroger in the town that we live in. While there, I met a guy that also works at Kroger but he works in the frozen department as head of the department. His name is Jordan. Him and I got to talking . . . a lot. The next thing I know, I'm crazy about this guy and Chris could tell. Chris told me to choose between him and Jordan. I refused. There was no way I was going to loose Jordan. He is a male version of me and he's super sweet and makes me smile. So Chris got upset and broke up with me. A couple days later after he learned that Jordan and I are now a couple, we get into a fight. Not just a yelling fight but a physical fight. He punched me in the side of the head and I almost ripped his nuts off.
I'm fine. Still living with Chris at the moment because I have no where else to go. It sucks. Jordan and I have an apartment waiting for us. We have to wait for the people in it to move out and for it to be cleaned. We are getting two Sugar Gliders. Don't know what those are?? Look it up. They are adorable little pocket pets. The truck Lyle (Chris' dad) bought us is mine since it's in my name and so is the insurance. I pay for the insurance and I put gas in it and make sure she's okay. Her name is Storm. My life has finally turned around for the better. Jordan makes me happy. We've been together almost a month now and we haven't had one fight. Chris is happy for me but at the same time he's depressed because my life is getting better every day and his is getting worse. I can't wait to be moved into the apartment. We will be moving in in June. I'm so excited.
I'm going back to my apartment today. I'm so happy. I also have an interview at Kroger. Granted it's the same Kroger that got robbed five times in one month but some under cover cop shot the guy multiple times. The guy is currently in the hospital. They want me to work in the deli and I'm so tired of working in delis but I have to take what I can get. I want to be a waitress again so if I get the Kroger job I will be looking for a waitressing job while I work there. If anything, I'll have two jobs. That way Chris and I will have some extra money. Being poor really does suck.
So, I have an okay job at a gas station making pizzas and subs. I get a decent pay. Enough to pay the bills anyways. But I can't help but think that I'm meant for something better. Once I'm back in Bloomington for good, I'm going to be putting my app out places. Maybe that's where my answer is?? I know I can do better than a gas station but in all actuality I probably wont do too much better. But that's just how life is now a days. It sucks, yeah, but a job is a job. I want one that I love, like Chris. He gets paid to sit on his ass and check IDs. I want a job that I would love and be devastated to leave. But I have no idea what kind of job I would do that I'd care about that much.
So . . . . . . . I'm currently in a different town than Chris for a minute. Every time I look at his Facebook page, he's talking to a new girl, has a new friend who happens to be a girl. Some of my co-workers said, "He could be cheating. Think about it. The whole apartment to himself for who knows how long." Maybe I'll make a surprise visit tomorrow. That's not such a bad idea actually. While he's asleep, show up. Tricia wants to go to Bloomington tomorrow to get her hair done. I can have her drop me off. Sure, I sound crazy but he won't ever tell me the truth. I've never cheated on him, even when he told me to I didn't. I refused to because I love him too much to do that to him. Now he's probably out cheating on me or something thinking that I did when I didn't.
So Chris and I moved from El Paso, IL to Bloomington, IL. We got a small apartment and it's really cheap. I work in El Paso so I get to drive to work. Well our car's transmission blew earlier this week and is now in Indiana waiting to be looked at. I'm in El Paso staying with Chris' mom so that I can get to work every day while Chris is in Bloomington with the dog so he can get to work every day. I miss him. It's almost been a week and we've heard nothing about the car. I just want to go home. I'm not liking being here. His mom is ignorant and annoying as all hell. On the upside, her and I have been getting along, which is weird. I wish all problems would just go away.
So, Chris and I moved to El Paso, IL. And a few weeks ago we got a house. Its a small one bedroom house but I love it. Plus we get to keep the dog. We are looking into buying another car at some point cause I don't want to keep walking to work when Chris needs to drive to Bloomington to get to work. It sucks. But someone is always willing to drive me home. ^_^
I think I screwed up my relationship with Chris. He broke up with me last night then wanted me back five minutes later. I told him we'd talk about it after I got off of work today and now he's not even sure if he wants to be with me. I screwed myself over. If I get an apartment that'd be awesome then I wouldn't have to worry too much I guess. I don't want to go back to Indiana. I want to cry but I don't think I have it in me right now. I can't believe I did this to myself.
It's awesome that Chris has a job and all but it sucks ass that we have no money for food . . . at all. My parent's don't give two shits about me. Life sucks. I wish Chris got his first pay check sooner. Gah!!!
So Chris and I moved to this tiny town in Illinois. He got a job in the first eight days we've been here at a strip club as a bouncer. He is off at his second day of work right now. I haven't had the greatest luck but I'm trying. There are a lot of jobs here it's getting one that's the problem. I'm hoping to get a waitressing job at a restraunt here in town. Wish me luck.
So, there are no jobs in my town, at all. Chris and I will be going to an ultra small town in Illinois to look for jobs in the next day or so. We will be staying with his mom. It sucks that we have to go to another state just to find jobs, but I guess that's life. My mom hasn't talked to me in about a week. She got upset with me when I called her out on being a bitch and accusing her of killing my dog. He's not dead but he's been really sick and his fur has gotten really long and she isn't doing anything about it which pisses me off. He'd be happier with me but she won't let me take him. But she'll more than likely be pissed when she finds out that we may be moving four hours away. Far enough away to see her when I need and never have to deal with her. That's why I like it. ^_^
So there have been people saying that I'm stupid or they suspect that I'm mentally retarded. I never paid much mind to it since . . . well . . . I'm not. But today I was going through an old message on Facebook between me and an old friend of mine named Erin. In that message she had said, "Seriously Sarah, I think you're retarded. Why don't you think this through??" We were talking about me being engaged to Josh. Yes, it was stupid of me to do but seriously?? It's amazing how your "friends" show their true colors, you know??
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