Can you bring me my chap stick?

i suck. Consider this account done because I'm not updating anymore because it isn't worth it. Much like most things that involve me.

"Count On Me"

I know that life ain't always good to you.
I've seen exactly what it’s put you through
Thrown you around and turned you upside down and so you
You got to thinking there was no way out
You started sinking and it pulled you down
It may be tough you've to get back up
Because you know that life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
You can count on me
Cause’ I will carry you till you
Carry on

Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me
To hold you till the healing is done
And every time you fall apart
Well you can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me
To hold you till that feeling is gone

I wonder why nobody's waiting on you
I'd like to be the one to pull you through your darkest times
I'd love to be the light that finds you
I see a silver lining on your cloud
I'll pick you up whenever you fall down
Just take my hand and I will help you stand

Because you know that life ain't over yet
I'm here for you so don't forget
You can count on me
Cause’ I will carry you till you carry on
Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me to hold you till the healing is done
And every time you fall apart you can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is
Gone so you can live today
Seems so long to yesterday
Keep on counting on me to carry you till you carry on
Carry on

You know that life ain’t over yet
I’m here for you so don’t forget
You can count on me cause I will carry you till you carry on

Anytime you need someone
Somebody strong to lean on
Well you can count on me to hold you till that healing is done
And every time you fall apart
You can hide here in my arms
And you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone
Remember life ain’t over yet
I’m here for you so don’t forget
That you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone
Remember life ain’t over yet
I’m here for you so don’t forget
That you can count on me to hold you till that feeling is gone





I love you, Nikki

Ahhh...well. Not much new. Still clean and sobah...well, I'm proud of that anyway. So pbbbbbbbth. I saw Davey...I mean. He happened to be around one day and I saw him and he waved and the only reason I knew it was him is because he has the same smile. And this was a blessing in disguise because I see he's healthy and he's happy. He's okay...and that makes me okay. yes I miss him, yes I wanna tell him I love him and give him hugs but he's alright. And he's happy. So...I'm doing okay now. It doesn't hurt as badly.

I thought I'd take the time to actually update my journal.  Even though I'm not going to say much because I'm not entirely sure if anyone reads this anymore.  I do, however, have a little news as far as my writing is concerned.  I have about three stories in the mix right now, but I do think that my Billie Joe story will be the first to make it here.  If I'm nice, I'll give you people a link to read some.  I have a little on here, just to get someone interested.  But we'll see.  I'm not sure if I'm going to bother to finish it, so let me know, guys.  OH and anyone who'd like to help get a role play community going with me, IM me on AIM because most of the ones that catch my attention always have something that isn't cool.  Like being assigned characters...blah blah blah.  Anyway, it's also easier to RP on AIM, so we could just get names, their RP style (storybook, one liners...etc:), if they're okay with smut, and their AIM screen name.  Could work out.  ALRIGHT so...chat later. ^_~

SIMPLE QUESTIONS:
1.What time is it? 12:48am
2.What is your name? Shauna
3.What is your birthday? 12/15/1985
4.How many sibs do you have? 2
5.What are your sibs names? Dave and Chris
6.Do you have a job? Yes
7.If yes, where? Hannaford. Grocery chain. Bakery department.
8.If no to #6, Where do you wanna work?
9.Do you have a car? Yes
10.What kinda car do you have/want? Pontiac Grand Am. Aaaaaaaand it's not runnin' now. Daaaamn...

FAVORITE QUESTIONS:
11.Movie: The Breakfast Club
12.Song: "Bat Country" - A7X
13.Band: Disturbed.
14.Group: Hello, Hanson.
15.Singer: *Loves on John Mayer*
16.TV Show: God, I don't watch TV often. But The Nanny and The Golden Girls are pretty flippin' funny.
17.TV Channel: Fuse
18.Actor: Robin Williams
19.Actress: Molly Ringwald
20.Comic: Chris Farley
21.Magezine: AP/Revolver/Kerrang!
22.Food: Veggie Lasagne. Sushi rocks too.
23.Snack: Pineapple N' Cottage cheese.
24.Drink: Dasani lemon.
25.CD-ROM Game: Alien VS Predator.
26.Board Game: Monopoly even though I suck.
27.Card Game: Skip Bo. It's the dumbest game ever but it's fun.
28.Kid Game: Hide and Seek.
29.Number: 22
30.Cartoon: Fairly Odd-Parents.
31.Character: Cosmo
32.Disney Character: Tinkerbell.
33.Color: Black, pink, red, neon green, purple.
34.Hair Color: Don't really have one. Black or colors not found in nature usually get my attention though.
35.Time of the day: Any time I can sleep is cool with me.
36.Day of the week: Thursday
37.Week of the month: Third week.
38.Month of the Year: October.

LOVE LIFE ETC:
39.Do you plan on having children: Dunno, possibly.
40.Do you want to get married: Not particularly.
41.How old do you wanna be when you have your first child: mid to late twenties.
42.How old do you wanna be when your married:Don't know.
43.Would you have kids before marriage? Hard to say.
44.What would you name the boy? Probably Evan or Devon, Anthony, or Jesse.
45.What would you name the girl? Maybe Audrey, Grace, or Savannah.
46.Are you a virgin?: ...Long complicated and painful story there.
47.If yes, Do you plan on loosing your virginity ne time soon?: Not really.
48.Have you had oral sex?: Yes.
49.If no, Have you been past base 1?:
50.Do you even know what the bases are?: Yes.
51.Do you have a b/f or g/f (who): Girlfriend, Nikki.
52.Do you have a crush?: Duh, on my girlfriend. Yeah, though. Couple innocent ones.

EITHER-OR (PICK WHICH ONE YOU PREFER)
53.Music/TV: Music
54.Guys/Girls: That'd be a tie.
55.Green/Blue: Green
56.Pink/Purple: Purple
57.Sleep/StayUp: SLEEEP
58.Summer/Winter: Winter
59.Spring/Fall: Fall
60.Night/Day: Night
61.Hangin Out/Chillin: Hangin' out.
62.Friends/Lovers: Friends
63.Cold/Warm: Cold
64.Fast/Slow: Slow
65.New/Old: Old
66.Dark/Light: Dark
67.Sparkle/Shine: Sparkle
68.Peach/Plum: Peach
69.Apple/Orange: Apple
70.Laundry/Dishes: Laundry
71..Christina/Britney: Britney (I agree with the Tony Lovato.)
72.Limp Bizkit/KoRn: KoRn!!!!
73.Rock/Rap: Rock
74.Pop/R&B: Pop

WHAT DO YOU THINK? (PUT WHAT FIRST COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU SEE THE FOLLOWING WORDS:)
75.Glass: Water
76.Shake: VANILLA!
77.Club: Sandwich?
78.Sing: SURE! *LALALLAAAAA*
79.Loud: Stupid Blink 182.
80.Garcia: Brothers?
81.Hair: Dye.
82.Ching: y. Chingy yeah.
83.Money: CD's
84.Work: Fuck you.
85.Play: Guitar.
86.4002: Huh?
89.Dog: Home skillet.
90.Brain: What brain?
91.Nick: A dumbass.
92.Frank: Pedro!
93.AM: Sucks.
94.FM: Radio.
95.PM: Good times.
96.Morning: There's a morning? Funny...I'm never up for it.
97.Ball: I need to kick someone in the balls today.

WHAT DO YOU THINK (WRITE WHAT YOU THINK OF THE FOLLOWING)
98.Eminem: Ehhhh...
99.Rap: Sucks.
100.Teenagers: Being a teenager sucks. I wanna be five again.
101.Smoking: I'm gonna get lung cancer by the time I'm 25.
102.Death: Is beautiful.
103.Life: Shitty, but could be shittier.
104.Drinking: Occasionally alright.
105.Bomb Threats: Who does that anymore?
106.Murder: Getting away with murder? ...*tries not to laugh*
107.Suicide: Been thought of and attempted a few times.
108.Fear: My biggest fear is losing what I DO have.

FRIENDZ:
109.Who is your best friend?: Erica
110.Who is the best person to hang with?: Kayla and Katie.
111.Who is the sweetest person?: I know sweet people?
112.Whos the cutest person: Sarah.
113.Whos the nicest?: Nikki. She gets me.
114.Whos the best to talk online with?: Nikki and Eric.
115.Whos the most blonde: De'Anna...or me.
116.Whos the weirdest: Um...Sarah and me, for God's sakes. Taco dip!
117.Whos the craziest: Chris and Katie.
118.Loudest: Sarah.
119.Quietest: Sergio. Fuckin' Chilian. *snort*
120.Smartest: Hard tellin'. As scary as it is...I'd have to say Eric.
121.Quickest: Haven't a clue.
123.Most Trustful: Eric
124.Most Honest: Sarah.
125.Most Cheerful: Sarah. Wow, Sarah's an all around chick.

LAST FEW (Pointless) QUESTIONS:
126.Are you glad it's almost done? Sorta yeah.
127.Are you bored? Not really.
128.What kinda mood are you in right now? Feel like blowin' chow. I'm a horrible person.
129.Did you have a good day today? Kinda?
130.What are you doing tomorrow: Working.
131.What did you do today?: Well, showering is on the agenda. And a cigarette. I bought some clothes...stuff for the neices...nephews are next.

QUESTIONS ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS 2 U:
132.Who sent this to you? No one.
133.What do you think of this person:
134.Who do you think will be the first person to fill this out & send it back to you?:
135.Who do you think wont even read it?:
136.Do you want this to be done?: Yesh. I have a shower to take.
137.Do you think this is the last question: Prolly not.






Your wrong(if you said no)....







138.What time is it now?: 1:13am
139.How long has it been since you started?: That many.
140:Why is pickle juice green?: 'Cause cucumbers are green and vinegar is acidic, you moron.

I just burped alcohol...that's really not cool. lol...anyway. Just tellin' everyone I'm still alive. Yo.

Long time to fucking type, eh? Anyway, just on for a bit. Um...Nikki, I love you. Annnnnnnnnd I'm alive people, and I'm somewhat kickin'! <3<3<3

I accept that you're not in love with me anymore. But I just want you to know I'll always love you. It won't go away.

Nikki and I've agreed that we're too young to plan this far ahead of ourselves.  And it's true.  But, I can't help but to feel like I've lost my best friend and companion as stupid as it sounds.  I just hope this feeling passes and the tears stop falling because I can't deal with it.  I love her and I always will and nothing's gonna change that. 

We might be moving back to Sanford which means I lose my job and my friends there.  I probably won't ever see my friends again.  It's just hard.  I'll adjust I'm sure but it's still weighing on my mind.  Perk?  I'm closer to Mom and Chris and my neices and nephews.

-Crying again.

Title: Make Me Beg

Pairing: Matt/Tony
Rating: NC-17
Genre: PWP

Warning: This is nothing but smut, smut and more smut.  There is no plot and there is no point.  Enjoy
Disclaimer: The following story only happened in my mind.  Sad but true.

Kill me if there are any errors.

( Make Me BegCollapse )