Log inOpen app
Alexandra Petri
46.2K posts
user avatar
Alexandra Petri
@petridishes
Blogs & columns for @TheAtlantic. formerly Washington Post. No pun is beneath me. AP’s US HISTORY out now! bit.ly/3wR2BCR
washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost
Joined June 2009
1,214
Following
148.8K
Followers
user avatar
@petridishes

See Alexandra Petri’s full profile

Open X

New to X?

Sign up now to get your own personalized timeline!

Create account

By signing up, you agree to the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, including Cookie Use.

Terms·Privacy·Cookies·Accessibility·Ads Info·© 2026 X Corp.
Don't miss what's happening
People on X are the first to know.
Log inSign up
  • Pinned
    user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Feb 3, 2023
    hello friends this is my book (out April 11) and I would love very much if you pre-ordered it! if you like moby dick jokes, Richard Nixon jokes, or Emily Dickinson jokes, it is the book for you! now to post this at 6 pm on a Friday for maximum engagement bookshop.org/p/books/alexan…
    56
    34
    391
    133K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Sep 26, 2016
    finally the whole country will watch as a woman stands politely listening to a loud man's bad ideas about the field she spent her life in
    577
    36K
    74K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Sep 29, 2020
    debate drinking game!: continue to drink continuously as you have been doing for the past six months
    757
    9.2K
    71K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Jul 28, 2017
    does Donald Trump genuinely think he is supposed to eliminate someone each week
    1.2K
    16K
    61K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Jan 24, 2018
    Why Didn’t Judge Use A Nicer Tone When Sentencing That Man Who Was Just Convicted Of Molesting More Than 140 Children, Concerned Internet Gentleman Wants To Know
    576
    16K
    60K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Jan 20, 2017
    goodnight Obama goodnight moon goodnight legally unrestricted womb
    112
    20K
    54K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    May 18, 2017
    skirts at Fox News today will be lowered to half-mast
    904
    13K
    47K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Jun 10, 2019
    what if as a nation we just did one BIG Kickstarter once a year to help everyone pay medical bills instead of 327 million individual ones
    540
    5.3K
    36K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Dec 19, 2017
    honestly the Star Wars saga is just the story of three generations of people bullying c3po
    163
    9.6K
    38K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Mar 1, 2021
    21: excited for shots!!!! 2021: excited for shots!!!!!
    76
    2.8K
    35K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Jan 29, 2019
    why doesn’t Howard Schultz just try to go to space like a regular billionaire
    347
    3.5K
    33K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Jul 13, 2017
    please some foreign leader or spouse buy a novelty arm for the Trump Handshake so when he yanks it just comes off
    335
    8.5K
    34K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Aug 9, 2024
    pitch: he’s a man who’s a doctor tv execs: go on pitch: but he is better than other doctors tv execs: *nodding enthusiastically* pitch: because of his Condition tv execs: *sobbing, screaming, foaming at the mouth* this must be the only kind of show on the air from now on
    64
    1K
    36K
    773K
  • user avatar
    Alexandra Petri
    @petridishes
    Oct 31, 2017
    of course lack of compromise caused the civil war! if iron man had just— oh the actual civil war? no that was definitely because of slavery
    191
    8.8K
    32K