first proper skybound thought in months but every now and again i'm reminded how messed up Nadakhan's crew is. his entire thing is that he ruins lives and forces then to join him. We have no idea why Flintlock is there so can't say much. monkeywretch being the best of his kind is the sickest burn possible. and dabloon got the face of what he stole as punishment, to be as two sided as a coin.

But Dogshank's story just kinda sucks the most. she was a normal person who was tired of always being second place so she just wanted to stand out for once. and in return for her nieve wish she is turned into a monster so ugly she covers her face everyday. she has basically no choice but to join a band of rejects and misfist because literally no one else would want her.

genuinely so surprised she isn't seething at the sight of him everyday.

I actually wonder how many more have been wronged and still decided to join the crew. like surely there was an appeal in the treasure hunting and raiding. like they all enjoyed being pirates. but why would they continue to work for this man in particular.

It's honestly wild, isn't it? At this point, I'm more curious about who joined the crew purely of their own volition AND STAYED. We already know most of them only do so because Nadakhan purposefully gave them abilities so specific they'd only be useful for working under him - Cyren comes to mind here, because her assorted canon blurbs mention that she can't use the singing-people-into-trances ability to do what she actually wanted the singing talent for - or, in Dogshank's case, so thoroughly messed up that she wouldn't be able to fit in elsewhere.

As much as I don't generally count the Tall Tales as canon (ELECTRIC DRILL), I do have to give them credit for mostly aligning with the stories Clancee tells Jay in e60. And they are tall tales, so some embellishment is warranted. Either way, since Nadakhan clearly granted these wishes while building his crew, both sets of stories combined very clearly give us what Nadakhan sees in them and exploits on his own terms to get those specific skillsets:

Monkey Wretch - they're pirates, they'll need a ship and continuous maintenance, 'nuff said. (I'm still not sure why that required primate body horror, but then again, might simply be another case of Dogshank: who else is going to hire them?)

Doubloon - two-faced jerk who is unfortunately really truly terrific at stealing, which is a classically useful pirate trait, but loyalty (and, in Tall Tales, ability to shut up) isn't assured. Keep the two-facedness in a way that serves to overly simplify his emotions and keep him more manageable and unable to talk back or plot against him, and now Nadakhan's got the perfect combat/stealth theivery grunt.

Dogshank - almost TOO literal in the malicious compliance here, but that really shows where Nadakhan's priorities lie. There are a million ways he could have made her stand out that didn't require doing all of THAT, but he picks one that contradicts what she's actually after and is *air quotes* COINCIDENTALLY a way to ensure she can't keep her previous lifestyle (whether that's Tall Tales athletics or the very vaguely canon implied debutante/socialite career, and that's only based on Clancee's ball line, so WHO KNOWS). He then steers her into joining the crew as their enforcer/muscle, because again, where else is That going to be useful and accepted? This is a little like if I wished I were better at using a julienne slicer and then had both my arms turned into julienne slicers. First off, NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR, and second, I'd be basically locked into a life in the culinary arts - at least until I managed to make enough money to pay for Normal Arm Surgery, and that would take so long it might just be easier to resign myself to a life of ratatouille prep.

Clancee - interesting case here in that he doesn't make any wishes and does in fact join just for fun, but I'm pretty sure that easily-spooked personality shows up early and often, and he inadvertently becomes a reserve wishing well. At that point, Nadakhan does explicitly use those wishes for his own benefit (neat how that coincides with his late-season mask slip!), and only then does Clancee manage a buzzer-beater reveal that he's never liked the way Nadakhan treats people. Me and you both, pal.

Flintlocke - REALLY weird case here because we don't know for sure what wishes he made, but we know he did run out before s6 (he makes a comment to Nadakhan that he wishes the crew had more hands and nobody sprouts more arms), plus I'm fairly certain the gun ability is something Flintlocke cultivated for himself based on how he brags about it. It's also the first thing Nadakhan moves to destroy when he needs to humiliate Flintlocke back into line, and I don't think that's something that would happen if Nadakhan purposefully installed that for his own benefit. It's also not a skill that's locked to piracy - there are ways Flintlocke could take that elsewhere and flourish - so either that's not the result of a wish... or it was, but only to lull Flintlocke into enough of a sense of loyalty and gratitude to take up the first mate role. Bizarre, devastating implications all around.

Squiffy and Bucko: neither of them seem very suited to life on the Keep, but we never get to see if Nadakhan sculpts that into them, so that makes sense. They're probably also heading down the Clancee-wishing-well path without knowing it...

In conclusion: I'm looking at these poor guys like this and I am FASCINATED.

It all says so much about everyone and it makes me want to eat shoelaces. And that it all develops into that twisted form of loyalty they've all convinced themselves is real. Especially after Clancee's line about Nadakhan bringing them all together and making them whole? SCREAM. YOU'VE BEEN PLAYED LIKE KAZOOS.

Frankly, Soto's crew probably came out on top because they were all in it for the love of the game and not paralyzed by some overly specific skills and a fear of their boss.