Hello, LJ!
13 years later, I’m here digging for treasures and re-living a past self.
Aleks helped me remember.
Aleks helped me remember.
Expecting
Now that I'm home and not working since June 13, there is really nothing better to do than to do housework, read future-mums forums, friends' blogs, and browse the net for baby - er - things. (Long lists of things!)
I feel OK so far.
First, I feel relaxed that in a particularly difficult time for the company, I am not there to be bothered. Egoistic, I know; but I've had enough of stress and unsatisfactory interpersonal relationships (always in the middle between my coworkers and my boss, I've been bound to function as a cushion for both sides' frustrations - no more of that, thanks).
In the same time, I feel reasonably active, because I go out and do things. In a slow pace - as is fitting my now 14 kilos of belly - and with relaxed routes, I gradually scan the baby shops and have started to complete the shopping list with some items, to get oriented about others, and it still seems there is so much to know.
At home, we have started working on baby's room and have done some major changes. My dad was here all weekend, working all day long to get some repairs around the apartment done. There is still a lot he has to do, but it's important that he started. Vess and he stuck the wallpapers in baby's room yesterday, and I love how it looks.
My mother came with me to a baby shop today. We bought some clothes to start with - nothing fancy, they don't even match, but I just wanted to have a basic starting pack in place.
By the end of this week, we must have bought the bed and mattress, a chest of drawers, blankets and bedsheets.
Also, I must finally make up my mind about the stroller, breast pump, bottles set, babyphone, etc. more expensive things that I will entrust Vess to buy while I am in the hospital.
About cosmetics, I am trusting my second boss who has a pharmacy. I'll just give him a list and expect from him to return with a box full of everything I need. He is very well acquainted with what's what, as his wife gave birth to their second daughter just over a year ago.
The caesarean is scheduled for June 28.
I feel OK so far.
First, I feel relaxed that in a particularly difficult time for the company, I am not there to be bothered. Egoistic, I know; but I've had enough of stress and unsatisfactory interpersonal relationships (always in the middle between my coworkers and my boss, I've been bound to function as a cushion for both sides' frustrations - no more of that, thanks).
In the same time, I feel reasonably active, because I go out and do things. In a slow pace - as is fitting my now 14 kilos of belly - and with relaxed routes, I gradually scan the baby shops and have started to complete the shopping list with some items, to get oriented about others, and it still seems there is so much to know.
At home, we have started working on baby's room and have done some major changes. My dad was here all weekend, working all day long to get some repairs around the apartment done. There is still a lot he has to do, but it's important that he started. Vess and he stuck the wallpapers in baby's room yesterday, and I love how it looks.
My mother came with me to a baby shop today. We bought some clothes to start with - nothing fancy, they don't even match, but I just wanted to have a basic starting pack in place.
By the end of this week, we must have bought the bed and mattress, a chest of drawers, blankets and bedsheets.
Also, I must finally make up my mind about the stroller, breast pump, bottles set, babyphone, etc. more expensive things that I will entrust Vess to buy while I am in the hospital.
About cosmetics, I am trusting my second boss who has a pharmacy. I'll just give him a list and expect from him to return with a box full of everything I need. He is very well acquainted with what's what, as his wife gave birth to their second daughter just over a year ago.
The caesarean is scheduled for June 28.
Falling Apart
It's falling apart around me.
I feel too tired to work. It takes me an hour of self-persuasion to get out of bed in the morning, but that's OK, that's just sleepiness. Then when I get to work, I can't bear through th day, I just want to sit back and relax, and do nothing, think about nothing. I don't care to be bothered.
My new assistant informed me today that she quits.
A coworker who was here when I started is also preparing to resign.
Z. will be the next to follow.
I was just starting to enjoy transferring my tasks to the new girl who would substitute me during my maternity leave. It felt good to not have to think about everything. Now I have to get active again, to cope with the situation. Find a new girl, introduce her to the job, and it's a process that took a month with the old one.
A very inappropriate time to quit.
I have no idea where to find a new one. She'll need a special kind of relevant experience - a similar position held before, and at least some basic knowledge about visual stuff - what is a targa, what is Photoshop, what is vector.
I think it's impossible to find with such a short notice. I have to leave already. My maternity leave officially started yesterday (45 days to term).
I feel too tired to work. It takes me an hour of self-persuasion to get out of bed in the morning, but that's OK, that's just sleepiness. Then when I get to work, I can't bear through th day, I just want to sit back and relax, and do nothing, think about nothing. I don't care to be bothered.
My new assistant informed me today that she quits.
A coworker who was here when I started is also preparing to resign.
Z. will be the next to follow.
I was just starting to enjoy transferring my tasks to the new girl who would substitute me during my maternity leave. It felt good to not have to think about everything. Now I have to get active again, to cope with the situation. Find a new girl, introduce her to the job, and it's a process that took a month with the old one.
A very inappropriate time to quit.
I have no idea where to find a new one. She'll need a special kind of relevant experience - a similar position held before, and at least some basic knowledge about visual stuff - what is a targa, what is Photoshop, what is vector.
I think it's impossible to find with such a short notice. I have to leave already. My maternity leave officially started yesterday (45 days to term).
Blind Guardian
I'm 8 months pregnant. The planned birthdate of our son is June 27-29.
He comes in the middle of a unique sequence of heavy metal events in Bulgaria.
To name but a few (the ones I'd be interested in) - yesterday's Blind Guardian concert in Sofia, then Iron Maiden in Sofia, Manowar and Motorhead in Kavarna, Marilyn Manson and Type O Negative in Sofia again.
And not just metal, too. INXS are coming next week, then Vaya Con Dios, Suicidal Tendencies, even George Michael and Pink. All in the course of these coming 2 months.
The only concert I took the luxury of going to was Blind Guardian. I will skip all the rest.
The baby didn't seem bothered at all.
The concert was enjoyable in every other aspect except:
- My 10 kilos of belly wouldn't allow me to mix with the crowd right in front of the scene. And the feeling isn't exactly the same when you're sitting far in the back - you feel somewhat left out of what's happening.
- My 29 years of age prevent me from going euphoric. I perceive things in a tuned-down way, calmly and soberly. Had they come 10 years earlier, I'd have been crazy this whole week.
- The sound was terrible. Of course I still remember the most important songs by heart, but still, I'd have enjoyed hearing Hansi's voice every once in a while.
I was nicely surprised by the band's behavior on stage. They seemed very kind, gentle in a way. The caring respect with which they handled the Bulgarian flag, the first good-bye bow, the compliments they gave us, and Hansi even cared to learn a Bulgarian word ("cheers").
There was real communication, not just formal performance. I liked that. It felt personal.
So, I've heard (and sung) The Bard's Song in concert - another one of my teenage dreams fulfilled.
I remember the first concert that really shook me - when Iron Maiden first came to Sofia (with Blaze Bailey).
Then Metallica came.
Then Yngwie Malmsteen.
Now Blind Guardian.
These were my top of the tops. And I even got the bonus to see Paradise Lost.
What else do I wish for?
- The Gathering
- Amorphis
- Tiamat
- Garmarna (like that would ever happen)
Not much more, really.
He comes in the middle of a unique sequence of heavy metal events in Bulgaria.
To name but a few (the ones I'd be interested in) - yesterday's Blind Guardian concert in Sofia, then Iron Maiden in Sofia, Manowar and Motorhead in Kavarna, Marilyn Manson and Type O Negative in Sofia again.
And not just metal, too. INXS are coming next week, then Vaya Con Dios, Suicidal Tendencies, even George Michael and Pink. All in the course of these coming 2 months.
The only concert I took the luxury of going to was Blind Guardian. I will skip all the rest.
The baby didn't seem bothered at all.
The concert was enjoyable in every other aspect except:
- My 10 kilos of belly wouldn't allow me to mix with the crowd right in front of the scene. And the feeling isn't exactly the same when you're sitting far in the back - you feel somewhat left out of what's happening.
- My 29 years of age prevent me from going euphoric. I perceive things in a tuned-down way, calmly and soberly. Had they come 10 years earlier, I'd have been crazy this whole week.
- The sound was terrible. Of course I still remember the most important songs by heart, but still, I'd have enjoyed hearing Hansi's voice every once in a while.
I was nicely surprised by the band's behavior on stage. They seemed very kind, gentle in a way. The caring respect with which they handled the Bulgarian flag, the first good-bye bow, the compliments they gave us, and Hansi even cared to learn a Bulgarian word ("cheers").
There was real communication, not just formal performance. I liked that. It felt personal.
So, I've heard (and sung) The Bard's Song in concert - another one of my teenage dreams fulfilled.
I remember the first concert that really shook me - when Iron Maiden first came to Sofia (with Blaze Bailey).
Then Metallica came.
Then Yngwie Malmsteen.
Now Blind Guardian.
These were my top of the tops. And I even got the bonus to see Paradise Lost.
What else do I wish for?
- The Gathering
- Amorphis
- Tiamat
- Garmarna (like that would ever happen)
Not much more, really.
Libertarian, it says
Here's the result of a poll I found rather unrelated to me in that it required answers to questions that don't represent current political problems surrounding me.
But still.
But still.
| You are a Social Liberal (68% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (61% permissive) You are best described as a: Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test |
Follow-up
And I gave up to do even that :)
Relief
Calm at work! We lost a couple of projects one way or the other, so for my bosses it's a worry, maybe, but for all of us working here it's a breath of air, some time to regroup.
Teambuilding this weekend, company retreat I mean, there will be acoustic guitars (half of the team are former musicians), Mafia game (I'm looking forward to see how they like it - so far they haven't heard of this game), bowling or billiard or some thing or other. It's a 4-star SPA hotel, sounds promising to me.
Teambuilding this weekend, company retreat I mean, there will be acoustic guitars (half of the team are former musicians), Mafia game (I'm looking forward to see how they like it - so far they haven't heard of this game), bowling or billiard or some thing or other. It's a 4-star SPA hotel, sounds promising to me.
Work rant
It has been going on in the same vein as my previous posts.
So as much as I feel like updating here, there's really not so much to say.
The little time I had on my hands, I spent complaining to Frost on ICQ about the work frenzy. No, today I'm really pissed. When even the director - a very reasonable and calm person, working for himself (as a freelancer) on these projects, and incredibly durable (worked for 48 hours straight on the last tvc - filming, then editing during the night, then re-editing to match client's corrections...), now, when this person is pissed off, then you know there's something fundamentally flawed with this kind of work.
To outline current developments, we lost a pitch to our competitor, and although we lowered our budget a lot under the agent's insistance, we didn't lower it so much so we'd cost less than the competitor. The client chose the competitor, no doubt under the recommendations by same agent.
Competitor screwed up at the filming, as it turns out they hadn't calculated their budget based on real offers, and they hadn't secured the filming. Great scandal follows, good for us. They filmed yesterday anyways, we'll see the final product and judge for ourselves. In the best case they're doing it at a loss.
Yesterday evening I get a call from my boss. We've been chosen to film the next tvc for the same client. No pitch this time, it's us directly. The tvc has to be filmed on Thursday. It's Tuesday today. I was to look for locations again.
I called the director to find out his requirements about the location. He was almost hysterical on the phone and said he can't work at this pace. He talked to my boss and the most they could achieve was the filming to be postponed for Friday.
Now, this is bullshit. Production organised and realised for 4 days? Come on.
Not that we can't do it.
We can, but it's not the point...
And I just received an e-mail by said agent. Gorram bitch dares to critisice our budget again. It's rude and it comments on things that aren't her job to comment on. The budget is our responsibility and ours alone, she just has to pass it on to the client. She refuses to do that lest we lower it considerably - again, she thinks it's too high (higher than "normal").
It's really making me crazy. It's offensive and degrading to work this way.
In addition, because of this urgent project, the Friday filming made it impossible to go on that long-planned team-building of ours. Everybody was so looking forward to it. Now it's postponed for the second week of November, to be confirmed, and unfortunately my boss won't be able to come (he only had one weekend when he could have somebody to leave his daughter to and come along with his wife).
...Have in mind the above ranting is only about production. Regular work goes on regularly. I can rant about it, too.
Ultimately, it all comes to a single company I want to stop working with. A big client, but more arrogant and more unnerving than I can tolerate any longer. I prefer a lower salary than having to deal with them.
So as much as I feel like updating here, there's really not so much to say.
The little time I had on my hands, I spent complaining to Frost on ICQ about the work frenzy. No, today I'm really pissed. When even the director - a very reasonable and calm person, working for himself (as a freelancer) on these projects, and incredibly durable (worked for 48 hours straight on the last tvc - filming, then editing during the night, then re-editing to match client's corrections...), now, when this person is pissed off, then you know there's something fundamentally flawed with this kind of work.
To outline current developments, we lost a pitch to our competitor, and although we lowered our budget a lot under the agent's insistance, we didn't lower it so much so we'd cost less than the competitor. The client chose the competitor, no doubt under the recommendations by same agent.
Competitor screwed up at the filming, as it turns out they hadn't calculated their budget based on real offers, and they hadn't secured the filming. Great scandal follows, good for us. They filmed yesterday anyways, we'll see the final product and judge for ourselves. In the best case they're doing it at a loss.
Yesterday evening I get a call from my boss. We've been chosen to film the next tvc for the same client. No pitch this time, it's us directly. The tvc has to be filmed on Thursday. It's Tuesday today. I was to look for locations again.
I called the director to find out his requirements about the location. He was almost hysterical on the phone and said he can't work at this pace. He talked to my boss and the most they could achieve was the filming to be postponed for Friday.
Now, this is bullshit. Production organised and realised for 4 days? Come on.
Not that we can't do it.
We can, but it's not the point...
And I just received an e-mail by said agent. Gorram bitch dares to critisice our budget again. It's rude and it comments on things that aren't her job to comment on. The budget is our responsibility and ours alone, she just has to pass it on to the client. She refuses to do that lest we lower it considerably - again, she thinks it's too high (higher than "normal").
It's really making me crazy. It's offensive and degrading to work this way.
In addition, because of this urgent project, the Friday filming made it impossible to go on that long-planned team-building of ours. Everybody was so looking forward to it. Now it's postponed for the second week of November, to be confirmed, and unfortunately my boss won't be able to come (he only had one weekend when he could have somebody to leave his daughter to and come along with his wife).
...Have in mind the above ranting is only about production. Regular work goes on regularly. I can rant about it, too.
Ultimately, it all comes to a single company I want to stop working with. A big client, but more arrogant and more unnerving than I can tolerate any longer. I prefer a lower salary than having to deal with them.
Seared
There's a meeting I just learned I have to be present at.
19:00 on a Friday evening I have to meet this client and talk about their next project. It will be the filming of a TVC (quite complicated, to judge by the script), which has to be aired on October 24/25. Effectively it will be a week for the production (we don't start until the proposal is approved, which can't happen before coming Tuesday).
The weekend overtime has nothing to do with it. It is so we can prepare for two other simultaneous pittches, both on Tuesday.
Sigh. I can't even get angry. I have no energy to get angry.
19:00 on a Friday evening I have to meet this client and talk about their next project. It will be the filming of a TVC (quite complicated, to judge by the script), which has to be aired on October 24/25. Effectively it will be a week for the production (we don't start until the proposal is approved, which can't happen before coming Tuesday).
The weekend overtime has nothing to do with it. It is so we can prepare for two other simultaneous pittches, both on Tuesday.
Sigh. I can't even get angry. I have no energy to get angry.
Yawn
Sleepy sleepy here at work.
We'll be working this weekend. It will be second working weekend in a line for me.
Yesterday evening three different people asked me why I was sad. I wasn't sad, just tired, and I didn't realize that until they asked.
I was officially permitted to sleep in this morning, so I came to the office around 12. But it's not enough...
We'll be working this weekend. It will be second working weekend in a line for me.
Yesterday evening three different people asked me why I was sad. I wasn't sad, just tired, and I didn't realize that until they asked.
I was officially permitted to sleep in this morning, so I came to the office around 12. But it's not enough...