Iowa Rambler

there is a very specific type of political enlightenment when you allow yourself to acknowledge bad people can be attractive and funny and intelligent and still be bad people because those things don’t quantify morality

“i’ve never met a pretty racist” “republican makeup” etc etc is all just enforcing the idea that being conventionally unattractive is a moral failing. stop doing that. it’s an actively dangerous idea to spread

In an innocent moment of searching for 'Balrogs' on here hoping for some dope gifsets of Gandalf facing off against Durin's Bane, it has unfortunately come to my attention that Rings of Power Season Three is going to have a Balrog challenging Sauron.

Now trying to picture this actually happening instead of Durin's Bane canonically doing the smart thing (Hiding in the deepest cave it could the SECOND it felt Mairon stirring, in an effort to stay off the ol' bossman's radar) and what it would look like to see a balrog scream for mercy as a very peeved Sauron nailed its limbs to the wall of his throne room in Barad Dur as an example of what happens when you slack off, get delusions of grandeur, and challenge him.

Ok I have a question. If he's that weak then why did Gandalf have such a hard time with him?

Gandalf is not actually one of the most powerful of the Maiar, though he is among the wisest. In addition, the wizards...of which Gandalf was one...were bound to human bodies that limited their ability to wieldraw power fairly significantly. They were bound from showing their true forms amd were constrained from contesting against Sauron directly power to power if it could all be avoided (as such would lay waste to the lands around them, and the intent was to SAVE those lands)

This is why Gandalf struggled with Durin's Bane, who as an Umaia was not bound by these rules. Sauron was also not bound to such constraints, and had it ever come to Sauron facing Gandalf or any of the istari directly, power to power, then Sauron would have crushed them.

Elves were not constrained by these rules, and the more powerful elves are SHOCKINGLY powerful, tbh. And even so, every case where an elf slew a balrog the elf died as well.

So it's less that the Balrog is weak...it isn't...but that Sauron is in fact that hellishly powerful actually

quite frankly i didn't realize enough people still used wattpad for this to be that big of an issue

as a lover of historical fiction and art about women and horny art and silly art i am so so into this premise. everyone can't stop being like "ohh his is dick made of wood too" it's magic dumbass. i am obsessed with how this sounds like an obscure medieval european folk tale. peter dinklage plays a basketmaker with the power to bring life to inanimate objects for an spinste's sexual pleasure. suspend your disbelief about his cock and have a little fun

and the leading lady is played by a woman whose gay man. perfect movie perhaps

for those who haven't seen the trailer.

#I assume his dick is ribbed for her pleasure and well-lacquered#like yes I assume the wicker guy who is ostentatiously 100% wicker everywhere we can see also has a wicker dick#I also assume a basket-making wizard who can make a whole-ass articulated dude out of wicker in one month#while *also* keeping up with his bill-paying day-job baskets#knows how to make a dick where none of the pokery is anywhere near the jiggery#sorry to everyone who's only seen shitty big-box store baskets that are made out of spite and neoliberalism#his dong is wicker and also perfectly fit for purpose#wicker? I hardly knew her! etc.

beautiful + true tags from @tyrannosaurus-trainwreck

I’m kinda surprised that nalbinding isn’t as popular as crochet and knitting tbh because it has an even lower barrier of entry tools wise and unlike crochet and knitting it makes fabric that you can cut.

I guess it’s because it’s slower or something.

Nalbinding aka needle binding is when you use yarn and a big sewing needle to make fabric btw

It also has a lot of different kinds of stitches you can do that make different densities of fabric.

Some people even make rugs.

I feel like part of it might be casual people are generally aware of the existence of crochet and knitting, even if they don’t know very much about either, but have never heard of nalbinding

Yeah I hadn’t heard of it until recently and I ordered a big bone needle for myself to try it out and that should be arriving soon.

I was surprised that I’d never heard of it though. It’s older than knitting and crocheting and even though it’s been done all over the world it’s super relevant to Nordic culture and my grandmother and I are both into keeping in touch with our roots a bit so I’m surprised I’ve never heard of it.

It seems like the sort of thing that would be popular even if not as popular as crocheting and knitting, considering the low barrier of entry.

You also don’t need a bunch of different sized needles for nalbinding or whatever. The size of the stitch is controlled either completely freehand or by pulling it against one of your fingers. Most people who have a lot of nalbinding needles seem to either have tried out wood, bone, and metal ones to see which kind they liked or they enjoy carving wood or bone and like making their own needles as an extra hobby.

It’s also a lot easier to freehand and adjust as you go than crochet or knitting and you mostly go by inches instead of rows and number of stitches so a large number of accessories like stitch markers or whatever isn’t really necessary.

Maybe the lack of accessories also makes it unpopular idk. People do like collecting things in their nests.

I've been wanting to do so, I cannot find anyone who can teach me, and any books I can find on it are Ass in the Visual Learning department. Otherwise I'd be making the hell outta some nalbinded fabric

I found this channel by a nice man who makes up close tutorials

I thought this would be kind of a niche post to make but I was quickly reminded that I’m on tumblr, the website full of gay people with one billion hobbies.

Be careful or you will get ocs in your brain. No known cure.

What If Glorfindel Joined the Fellowship of the Ring?

living in one of those free use public sex kinda hentai but no one wants to have sex with me so i mostly just stay home and post. i look outside and sigh wistfully at the sight of a woman getting eaten out so hard she somehow cums twice in one moment and then close my blinds so i can focus on cookie clicker

Charles guiteau

The man who assassinated James Garfield??????

I will always love how you can learn things that your history class failed to teach you from shitposts on this site. Never change.

You don’t get knowledge delivered like this on other webbed sites and apps.

This is the funniest new thing I’ve learned today about the Swedish/Danish cultural exchange.

The Swedes have these adorable cakes called Prinsesstårta aka Princess Cakes.

When I saw this I thought “Oh! I know those! We have the same thing here in Denmark!”

The same thing? These beauties.

I persent to you, the Kajkage aka Kaj Cake. They’re smaller but pretty much made of the same ingredients and they have fan clubs dedicated to finding the ugliest versions at bakeries. They’re named after the frog Kaj from an old children’s show.

I have a strong suspicion some Dane saw a Prinsesstårta and thought “If I added eyes and a mouth…”

OP you can't just say this and then not show us the really ugly ones

As you wish

(Waking up sweaty and confused with an innate bone-deep certainty) Popular podcast man Justin McElroy gives off the vibe of a Samwise Gamgee who didn't have a Frodo Baggins and instead imprinted on Jimmy Buffet like a lost baby duckling

amen

Broche de Hector Guimard (Français, 1867–1942) c. 1909. Or, agate, perles,et pierres de lune

So. Just a casual thing to say to a 'friend' right

me, seeing a fic writer I like in the comments of an random fic

pouring one out for the AO3 Abuse Team people who will be flooded with false reports from Wattpad refugees about "disgusting" tags