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Pursuing enlightenment through evangelion

@reikomakoto / reikomakoto.tumblr.com

Hiya I'm Filo and I mostly speak in the tags, from time to time I might ramble a little or drop something I made. Nevertheless this blog is mainly shitposts and fanworks of stuff I'm currently fixating on. I'm friendly so feel free to dm me or drop an ask if you need me to tag something!! SPAM LIKING/REBLOGGING IS WELCOME AND ENCOURAGED :3 monster kawoshin sideblog here!

I've been meaning to make a post talking about my stroke because y'all got bits and pieces of the recovery but I never actually told the story of HOW it went down and the thing is the type of stroke I had is usually the type young people have and since having mine i've now heard multiple stories of people under 40 having very similar strokes and the scary thing is, is that they didn't get help right away. Because you're young and healthy and sure you feel weird but it'll pass right? but it doesn't, and it gets worse, and by the time you get to the hospital (some people literally take days to go) the deficits are worse and recovery is harder.

so here's a super long post about strokes in general, and mine in particular/what I went through.

Some of you might remember me talking about this when it happened- please read and be aware that strokes can happen at any age!

For anyone who has ever had covid before, please be sure you are aware of stroke symptoms. Each successive infection raises the risk in a pretty major way, and a lot of people are dying young due to not knowing these signs or being afraid to act on them. Please take care of yourselves.

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I've based a ttrpg characters design on the hedgehog's dilemma in the past so I understand its a compelling metaphor, however, every time I hear it referenced I am driven to look up images of real hedgehogs getting close to reassure myself that its not an actual problem they have to face

every so often i remember how awesome the modern interconnected multicultural world is. i grew up getting to hear fairy tales from all over the world. africa, asia, europe, america. everywhere in between. i can have bagels for breakfast, curry for lunch, and ramen for dinner without even leaving the city limits. music and art and philosophy and technology that originated thousands of miles and years apart from eachother have come together and interwoven into something greater than the sum of its parts. its hard not fall into despair when thinking about the horrors but god. god the wonders.

you can have friends on the other side of the planet! neither of you even has to travel!!!!! you can just talk to them whenever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am not a psychiatrist but i do find it really weird how autism checklists are so often focused on "outward" signs of autism rather than what is going on internally. i don't know how to explain it but "do you make eye contact with other people" feels like a much less relevant question than "how does it feel when you have to make eye contact with other people?"

while i'm here, the other one that always pisses me off is "do you interpret idioms literally, for example 'bull in a china shop'?"

well, no, obviously. i know what "bull in a china shop" means because that is a popular phrase with a clearly defined meaning. and if i hadn't heard it before, then i would still not interpret it literally, because it has the cadence of an idiom and i would probably be able to work out from context what it meant. what is the point of this question

third and final complaint: "are you good at noticing subtext?"

i feel like the problem with this question is best illustrated by a conversation i had with a friend a while back, where i said something like, "i feel very safe with you because you don't do subtle hints and you are always very straight-up with me about what you are thinking and feeling."

and he laid a hand on my shoulder and was like, look dude i'm gonna be straight up here. i am subtle with you constantly and you simply do not notice <3

@luckyybones hope you don't mind me screenshotting but you are actually so correct

learn to associate cleaning with pride instead of shame and your quality of life will improve in ways you can't even imagine btw

like I'm sympathetic, it's hard work, it takes some degree of mental organisation and physical capacity that is not equally accessible to every human being on earth. I know. but regardless of how much you can do and how often, you will get better results across the board if you can frame it as positive effort towards a better situation instead of perpetually self flagellating for having the sin of being a solid thing in physical space that steadily accumulates dirt no matter what just like everything else on earth

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If you pay close attention, you notice that they're opposites in basically everything. Water vs fire magic, messy white hair vs straight black hair, tight fitting vs loose shirt, turtleneck vs low collared, black vs white skirts (ok. smoke colored skirts.), oversized boots vs slippers, and the list goes on.

The only thing they seem to share is their love for ugly ahh socks and for each other