This is so fucking embarrassing. This is one of the most embarrassing business quips I have ever seen in my entire vile career.

coat bath

tag yourselves i'm the GREAT ROOM beside the GOURMET KITCHEN

i remade it in the sims 4

you have to be in a certain specific mood to listen to classic rock because sometimes a guy is playing his guitar and you're just like shut the fuck up man

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

not that i care

the other day i saw a tiktok of a woman talking about how her hyper-militant abusive parents would sometimes punish her by “taking away her name” and referring to her as a prisoner number. genuinely terrible stuff, obviously. but i skimmed the comments and. listen. i truly DO NOT mean to dunk too hard on this person, like they could be a kid or something, but.

just. breathtaking. imagine if your primary reference for the concept of the un-personing of prisoners was (check notes) a book series about owls.

I laughed so fuckin hard though

COUGH

guy who is stuck in a timeloop but is too socially anxious to bring it up to anybody or change their routine just in case it turns out they're mistaken. like yeah you're pretty sure that it's been november 3rd for two weeks now but idk maybe that's the depression talking. it's fine.

Got his ass together in three words

Okay but frog genitalia are internal whereas male rats have among the largest proportionate ballsacks of any animal.

huge shout out to this little kid for writing my favorite poem

Put a / in the year you were born, so we will have an average age

This is what we did before polls, when we could still edit posts

stone age tumblr utilizing primitive tools

any printer born after 2007 can't print... all they know is bluetooth , hide they usb port, tray feed error, be out of magenta , eat paper & tell HP my social security number

environmental storytelling

if hello kitty was real we would be bestfriends

me n u or u n hello kitty ?

me and you

raising my son on a strict media diet of Portal, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Mythbusters in an attempt to resurrect the extinct species Pre-Gamergate Smug Nerd Boy

We hear so much about “de-extincting” dire wolves and wooly mammoths but this one might be actually attainable.

did u guys hear abt that intern fired from that law firm bc she bit like 10 people. im kinda obsessed with her god i wish there was footage

need her url

I object to the qualifier "faux-quirky." I think if she's biting people in the office, some authentic quirkiness has been earned.

And they say cringe is dead

woke up and turned over and there was a roach next to me.... wtf did we do last night....?

how dare you make me read this