The people (@frontallobe-with-nail-in-it) wanted more of these two. I hate the light and need more training, but I didn't feel like working on it anymore.

------ some fun fact ------

This is so cool man what the hell

I really love the lore bit of memory erasure and the cross being directly representative of it and the fact he’s an ex king. very cool, thank you ❤️🙏

Welcome Home

Synopsis: You are the first born child of billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. In this PLATONIC omgeaverse take, you are his only child that has not been accepted into the pack. After living through years of constant disappointment and neglect, 14 year old you is ready to plan for their future far away from the eyes of your family. Your attempts to continue to live under the rador and move out to a new, exciting life should go smoothly…right?

PSA: There will be no romantic relationships. I will hint at a character maybe liking the reader, but given this is a yandere story…it will not last long…RIP.

Word Count: 1.8k

Chapter 1: What am I supposed to do?

You are a child born from a prostitute as a result of a one night stand. You lived with your mother in the Narrows of Gotham City, she was your whole world.

Though you were poor, she did her best to provide the best she could for you. She would borrow books from the library for you to read, take you to the park to play, and, when she had some extra cash, she would take you to the desert cafe to get whatever you wanted. You were happy as long as you were around her.

However, your mom couldn’t protect you forever.

After your mom would place you in the closet for the night for “mommy’s important work” as she would call it, she would peel the doors open ever so slowly with her cheeks stained with tears and bring you close to her chest to rock side-to-side with you.

“Oh my sweet, beautiful child” she would cry “you being born a beta was the greatest gift I could ever give you. The world is cruel to those of my kind…but you…you will be safe so long as you live as what you are…”

You did not understand what she was talking about at the time, but as you grew up you began to recall this conversation more and more.

One night, before your mother closed the door on the closet, she said in a quiet voice, “my baby…no matter what happens you must stay silent…promise me honey.” “I promised mommy” you whispered back to her. She smiled kindly with eyes lacking in light before kissing your forehead, “I love you so much my sweet baby”. Before you had the chance to reply, she closed the door gently.

As you attempted your best to sleep, given the circumstances, a shot went off. Followed by another. And another. Then silence. You promised your mother you would be good and stay put, however that did not stop the terror from creeping into your small bones, nor the tears from streaming down your eyes.

You had no concept of time, but you understood that a long time past before the doors of the closet were ripped open by people with flashlights in yellow and black uniforms. “Oh god…” one of them said, “Commissioner…she had a kid”.

After those words were uttered, you don’t remember much of what happened next. You remember a kind looking man talking to you. You remember answering that you were 4 years old. You remember the officers taking you to a police station. You remember them running tests and looking frazzled by the results. Lastly, you remember a man with bright blue eyes and black hair. He dressed like a businessman you would see on walks in the park with your mom. Next to him was an elderly man also dressed in a similar sophistcated attire.

You remember the man with the blue eyes kneeled down in front of you to say, “Hello there, my name is Bruce Wayne and it seems that I am your father. What is your name?”

“(Name)”

After that it was a blur of papers and eyes all on you and people kept shuffling around. You do remember getting into a fancy car, which drove to a fancy house, before being given a room bigger than your mom’s old apartment. You now know that there are bigger rooms in the house, which are on the family wing, but you have learned to accept where you have been placed.

Later that same day, two kids older than you had come to the house. The eldest introduced himself as your new brother Dick, while the younger one introduced himself as Jason. Despite your father being away often, Dick and Jason became your true brothers. As you were the smallest of the three, they still treated you with love and care. The five of you were a family. You were in the batcave with them cracking jokes at Bruce’s expense, playing tag…you had a family.

Until Jason died.

Dick became distant. Bruce became closed off. Alfred became reserved.

You were alone.

As you continued your lessons in school, you finally learned why your mother had said about you being a beta. Beta’s did not smell pheremones. Beta’s did not have heats or ruts. Being a beta made you considered to be a logical member of society.

However, in the same lesson, you learned about packs. There are two prominent sweat gland spots to be marked. The one on the back of the neck was for mates. The one on the inner wrists was proof of a pack that should be given by your family. After a marking, the family would huddle around the newest marked member for days in order to make them feel secure in the family. These sessions could last weeks depending on how the newest member takes to the bonding. After hearing all of this, you didn’t understand why they didn’t mark you. You new Dad, Dick, Jason, and Alfred had marked each other…so why not you?

Poor little (Name) brought this question home to Alfred when they came back from school. He said “Master (Name) I’m sorry but this is not an appropriate time to broach this subject. Give it time”.

And time she gave…then Tim came along.

Dick came around more. Bruce opened up. Alfred was attentive.

You greeted Tim with an open heart. You asked him question after question to learn about him and showed you cared. He always gave superficial responses, you understood though…he was busy helping Gotham. Just like Dad does, like Dick does, like Jason did.

After a year of Tim being here, you went to look for your dad to sign a paper for a school field trip to the science center. As you walked the long halls of the manor, you saw it in Tim’s room. Bruce, Dick, and Tim cuddling close with Tim at the center.

Tim is officially joining the pack.

Alfred came up behind you, “Master (Name) what are you doing over here? It is highly inappropriate to try and interrupt a bonding ceremony.”

Your mind was scattered with a deep hurt and shame, “I-I’m so sorry, I just-I just wanted Dad to sign my paper for a field trip…”

Alfred placed a hand on your shoulders and guided you towards your own room, “I will sign it for you my dear, but during such an important moment, you must not interrupt do you understand.”

You couldn’t even think. Why were you not being taken into the pack? Why was Alfred out here? You asked Alfred both these questions in the haze of the walk back to your room.

“Master (Name) I told you before that these things take time. It must not be rushed, when they are ready they will come to you. I am not included in the circle since my status in the pack is different from a traditional family pack. I do not need to be there for the entire ceremony. Now, here is your room, and please do not approach the West wing for awhile”.

You never went towards the West wing after that day. You did wait for your family though. One day they would approach you with the desire to make you part of the pack. You would become family, all you had to do was wait.

Then Jason came back. You tried to approach him when he came back the first time you heard about him being back, but he snapped at you. If you were to ask him, he doesn’t remember what he said, but you-you remember every word.

Not long after Jason came back, a twelve year old boy, the same age, as you joined the family. You greeted him with a smile and introduced yourself. Damian, as you would find through the yelling, pulled a katana on you while calling you a disgrace of a child and the Wayne name.

You did not approach Damian after that, but you did go to school together. He avoided you, from what you can guess is embarrassment, while you avoided him in fear.

A year after Damian joined, your enter perspective on your “family” shifted.

You found Alfred in the kitchen, “Hey Alfred, I was wondering if you know where dad is, there is a permission slip I need him to sign in order to watch a PG-13 movie in class!”

Alfred looked at you with the slightest glance of pity, “I’m sorry Master (Name), but currently Master Bruce and the other young masters are completing the bonding ceremony for Master Damian”.

You were left to stand there in shock and disarray. Damian…your blood brother Damian…who has been here for a year was getting bonded to the pack and becoming an official member of the family…but what about you?

You tried to put on your most unbothered expression, if Alfred saw through he didn’t comment on it, “Is Jason with them too?”

“Yes Master (Name). Since he was not here for Tim’s either, he is technically participating in two.”

“Thank you for letting me know Alfred, could you sign my paper instead please”, you are certain your voice cracked in the end but you pushed through.

Alfred took the paper gently, “Of course Master, and remember your time will come soon”.

You did not say another word. The moment he handed you your paper back you walked into your room before you burst out crying, “I-I j-just wanted to be a f-family. I-I w-wanted to be loved...is that so hard to ask?!”

This brings us to two years later, present day. (Name) and Damian are 14.

(Name) has been on the phone more, Damian notices. They have been more secretive and cryptic with her friends, Damian is paying attention.

He understands that he shouldn’t care. They are not a member of the pack, yet they are his only blood related sibling. He demands to know that (Name) is hiding.

One way or another.

And this dive into reader’s life will give them what they previously wanted…but can they handle the cost?

A/N: HELLO! Sorry for the long exposition (I hate writing it), but the story will pick up from here. I hope you enjoyed my first series and I hope to try and give updates at LEAST once a week!!

⤷ ゛Facio ut facias

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro / Hiromi Higuruma

warnings. criminal!toji, defenseattorney!higuruma, hatefucking, top!toji, bottom!higuruma, unsafe sex, choking, canon-typical violence, anal sex and fingering, handjobs, desk sex, blackmail, corruption, bruises, slapping, implied mental issues/instability, mentions of blood/violence/gore/death. nsfw 18+ mdni.

✎ Words: 8.9k | Ao3 | Masterlist

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He’d expected arrogance, of course he had. You don’t blow a hole clean through the skulls of three mob bosses turned civilized business men without having some sort of back bone, or without some of the blood and cerebrospinal fluid rubbing off on you somewhere in the carnage. He’d seen it in nearly every coldblooded criminal he’d ever laid his eyes on, that same power tripped adrenaline. It was a symptom of it - the primal sort of thrill, satisfaction that only comes from the most innate form of domination; crushing a life beneath the grind of your boot like it was nothing. It was a dead giveaway every time, buzzing around a person like a swarm of flies, thrumming so hotly that you could smell it.

The girl from the bakery

Alfie Solomons x reader

Alfie Masterlist Updates Account

warning/tags: smut and fluff, minors DNI, Alfie is down bad, mentions of miscarriage, slowburn, Alfie is yearning and Ollie is done with him, pet names (angel, good girl, love) unprotected piv, mutual masturbation, oral (f!receiving), infidelity, creampie

Important rules for the "age verification" era of the internet that we're living in:

1. Do not do age verification.

2. If you have to do age verification, cheat. Do not under any circumstances give them your real ID.

Oh no I dropped my link, what a horrible thing! Sure hope this doesn't get reblogged until it reaches users from the UK and Brazil!

And remember to not make a second account just to test out what works best when verifying your identity

Oliver then proceeded to detail how with $50 and knowledge of the law he was able to successfully apply online to create a debt buying company named “Central Asset Recovery Professionals,” or as Oliver put it, “CARP” named after “a bottom-feeding fish.”

After setting up a rudimentary website for CARP, the satirical, but still real company was offered a $15 million package of medical debt for $60,000.

Oliver explained that the debt was out of statute, which means it is the kind of debt that a collector can only continue to collect, but not sue the debtor for.

Then, instead of chasing down the 9,000 debtors in the debt package as a normal collection agency would, Oliver decided to stage the largest one-time giveaway in television history and work with the nonprofit RIP Medical Debt to forgive the $15 million with no consequences for the debtors.

Okay but now I know what I want to do of I get rich?

You dont have to be rich to do a bit of this actually

RIP Medical Debt is a charity (and therefore takes donations). They buy the rights to medical debt and then forgive them. So far they’ve forgiven over 1B in medical debt.

So a little ray of hope for someone out there today.

Donating $10 buys $1,000 of medical debt. This is real, it works, and we’ve done it ourselves. You can too.

As of June 29, 2024, the charity is still active under a new name, Undue Medical Debt

Signal Boost!!!

If you’re Catholic this is a great thing to do for the Jubilee year by the way. Forgive debts and set captives free!

Now renamed as Undue Medical Debt:

I got a letter recently letting me know that a $3k medical bill from an emergency room visit in 2018 had been purchased by Undue Medical Debt and destroyed. Gone forever. They were very clear that I didn’t have to do anything, but they would appreciate it if I would talk to people about it to spread the word about what they were doing. Fucking phenomenal.

I got $2k erased last year!

I love this.

There should be a continuation of where Gaz is begged and bribed to explaining teach them the things you like when you’re sick or angry or whatever moods or even just in general, and they’re all taking literal notes. They share them to make sure they didn’t miss anything. They start conspiratorially quizzing each other about your preferences behind your back.

Gaz just smirks smugly at them when he gets to cuddle, hug, or kiss you when they’re near.

On missions, it’s worse. They start doing it while fighting through comms while Price having to remind them they’re in a mission. Once they’ve returned to exfil and heading back to base, they begin to discuss plans for when they return.

Doesn’t matter that you’re a civvie. They want you to be theirs and that’s it. You’re stuck. Preferably consensually or they’ll just figure out how to convince you, probably via Gaz. The three won’t admit that to him.

Gaz is so amused that it took this long for his polycule and squad to come to him.

He’s curious to see how things go when the four return. Will you miss just him and/or all of them?

So many possibilities

REBLOG OF HORNY EXCITEMENT OH MY GOD THATS SUCH A CUTE IDEA THEM QUIZZING EACH OTHER ON THE NEW DOGS TRAITS AND MOODS 😋😋😋

Ghost can’t understand you today. Usually, you’re so boisterous, loud and excited and laughing. Sure, a bit excitable for a beta, but none of them really fit into stereotypes. Today though, you’re acting like-

Well. Him.

Silent, eyes distant as you roll through the motions of the morning. It’s strange, to see you so skittish- arms folded like you’re hugging yourself. Like you’re keeping all your insides in, desperately not trying to let your guts spill out. The others all notice pretty quick, Soap visibly deflating when you don’t laugh at his usual antics. When he reaches out- you stand, letting out some kind of half assed excuse that your breakfast isn’t sitting well.

You end up hiding in your garage most of the day, fixing their gear up- exchanging parts, counting ammo. It helps, physically doing something you know will make a difference. You don’t answer the group chat, or their individual texts. You’re just.. a black hole. A pit of this strange emptiness, your scent stale and brittle- like dead grass. He wishes your pheromones were stronger, wishes he could understand you better.

When you skip lunch, Ghost decides it’s enough. The hangar is silent when he opens the back entrance- large garage door shut tight, like you were in a cocoon. No music, just the sound of a welding machine and distant sparks from under one of your little personal projects. He knows you can smell his scent- the way it sours when you don’t stop working and sit up.

“Hey.” He grunts, nudging your foot. The sound of the welder clicks off, and you slowly slide out on your creeper. You don’t lift up the welding mask, a black pit of nothing for Ghost to grasp onto.

“You skipped lunch.” He grunts, his scent souring more when you look away instead, shrugging your shoulders.

“Wasn’t hungry.”

“Weren’t hungry at breakfast either. You broken?” His voice sounds far harsher than he means, and he can tell it’s not working when you roll back under the hood of your project again.

“I’m fine, Ghost. I’ll just eat later,” you growl, and he probably should leave it at that. His broken instincts click and spark in the back of his skull though, an urge to examine his pack mate- soothe them, maybe.

How did Gaz usually do it? His nest was always clean and nice, he usually coaxed Ghost into laying down and taking a nap in the omega’s nest. He purred too, let Ghost relax on his chest and fall asleep to the vibrations.

Hm.

That must be what you needed.

You let out a shout that Ghost ignores when he yanks you back out from under the car. You thrash and kick at the alpha, snarling and yowling when he yanks off your welding mask-

“Simon- quit it- let go-!”

Puffy eyed. Your face is red and wet, and those broken instincts are suddenly pounding at the inside of Simon’s skull. He lets out gargled chuffs, hugging your body tightly against his and rubbing his masked face against you. Your teeth try to sink into his shoulder, only to shudder when you get a face full of pheromones instead. Usually Simon isn’t very good at using his, relying more often on physical presence since his glands worked poorly on good days, too thick with scar tissue to properly fill a room.

Somehow, the need to soothe you makes something in him work- old alpha instincts that are gnarled and twisted howling with desperation. Of course your arms go limp, huffing and sucking in deep breaths of your lieutenant. It’s almost cute, how fast you settle against him- that snarling dog you were mere moments ago fading like smoke.

He carries you like that all the way back to Gaz’s nest, your body clinging tightly to his massive frame the omega yips and jumps at the sight of you two. Circling the pair of you, his own pheromones blanketing you as the man wraps you both in blankets.

“I knew something was wrong, you should have been honest, pup! Now look at you both, all tuckered out hm? Simon, you did such a good job, such a good alpha,” Kyle cooed, scratching under the man’s chin and pressing kisses against both of your heads. Simon’s rumbling became louder, pleased alpha mixing well with the omega’s calming scent. You felt high, drooling and blinking tiredly against Simon’s tit- his rumbling rattling your skull just slightly in this- super satisfying way.

Your eyes finally closed when Gaz curled up against the two of you, face tucked into your hair as you drifted off to sleep.

Maybe being cared for wasn’t so bad.

Here’s Ghost calling Gaz mama because it’s hawt and I’m obsessed with them

Gaz on his back on the couch, lazily watching the movie they picked out for their calm night in. He’s got pillows propped behind his back and neck, so he doesn’t even have to keep his head lifted up to see the tv.

He’s as relaxed as could be, so he sighs when he hears the whimper from the crook of his shoulder. Simon’s got his face pressed there, hiding away as the rest of his naked body practically vibrates over Kyle. His heavy cock twitches where it’s buried inside of him, followed by an involuntary jerk of his hips, giving away his eagerness. Gaz pinches his side in correction, “what did I tell you, pup? Be good and let me watch the movie.”

Simon whines again, and tries his best to control his twitching hips, thighs tensing in effort not to move. Gaz can feel the big mutt’s shaky breaths against his chest, proud of how long he’s lasted, the movie’s been on for a whole thirty minutes, and just now is he getting antsy. And if he’s been clenching his hole on purpose in the past few minutes, just to see how Simon would react, well, his mutt certainly doesn’t need to know that.

Another clench from Kyle, played off as just adjusting, earns a gasping whine from deep in Simon’s throat, and another desperate twitch of his hips. Kyle pinches his asscheek this time, “still, pup.”

Simon mumbles something incomprehensible into his shoulder, and Kyle pulls his head up with a firm grip on his hair, “speak, mutt. What is it?”

Wet, shiny cow eyes meet Kyle’s gaze, “ple- please, Ky. I need- I need to move, please, ma, please,” his hips are really shaking now, Kyle can feel how tense Simon is, putting so much effort into obeying, sweet thing. Kyle stopped paying attention to the movie a while ago, much more interested in the little noises his boy was making, but he pretends to consider for a moment, before huffing and pushing Simon’s head back into his neck, “release.”

The sound that leaves Simon is one of pure relief, a gasp and a sob and a whimper all in one. His hips grind deeper, and in an instant he’s pumping them without rhythm, all grasping hands and mindless babbles, “th’nk you- thank you, ma- ngh, mama, thank you, oh yes, yes, oh m’ comi’n ma, ah!”

Simon’s moans rise in pitch as he comes, breaths coming in quick little pants against Kyle’s neck. He soothes the big man, petting his sweaty hair and murmuring encouragement as Simon keeps thrusting into overstimulation, “don’t stop, pup, that’s it. Keep moving those pretty hips.”

Simon shakes his head, whining in protest, “please, mama. I c’nt, please ‘s too much.”

Kyle’s lips press gently to the side of his head, shushing him, “shhh… you can. Don’t want me to have to take over, do you?” More vehement head shaking, and Simon’s hips pick up again, trying his best to keep some rhythm through quiet, hiccuping sobs.

Kyle can feel his own cock starting to harden in interest, firming up further than the half-chub he’s had since he slipped Simon into him at the start of the movie. He rolls his head to the side to whisper against his ear, “wanna make me cum, sweet boy?” He’s nodding before he even really comprehends the question, so eager to do anything for his love, his mama. Kyle laughs fondly, moves Simon’s hand from its bruising grip on his thigh to his cock pressed between them. Kyle sucks in a breath when a thumb strokes over his leaking tip, tipping his head back and just letting his pup please him.

The combination of a big, calloused hand on his cock, Simon rubbing against his prostate with every shaky thrust, and the delightful noises drawn from the mutt with each movement, Kyle reaches his peak in almost no time at all. His mouth falls open and his tummy tenses along with his hole, eliciting a cry from Simon as his sensitive cock is squeezed mercilessly, pushing him into another sobbing orgasm.

Once both their highs have faded, Kyle gives the command to “still,” again, and Simon all but collapses on top of him, muscles giving out as he hiccups and whimpers into Kyle’s skin. His softening cock stays in Kyle, not having the will to force his oversensitive prick through more friction just to separate. Kyle is more than happy to lay in the afterglow, appreciating the soft, pliant thing in his lap after their fun has been had. He strokes his fingers through Simon’s sweaty curls, brushing them away from where they stick to his forehead, and murmuring praise as his pup drifts off to sleep.

He’ll have to wake him in a little while to get them both off the couch and showered before bed, but for now Kyle can let him float under his attentive hands. The rest is well deserved, after all.

REBLOG OF HOLY COW !!! MY PENIS ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Popular Yandere Best Friend × Insecure Loner Reader

86.

You couldn't believe it. You read it over and over, bright red ink a stark contrast against your scribbled writing and messy smudges.

86!

God, you could feel your heart racing. Suddenly those sleepless nights, the energy drinks strewn across your desk, the exhaustion that weighed down on your bones at all hours of the day- none of it mattered. This was proof, hope! Maybe, if you just kept on trying, then maybe-

"Luka! what did you get?"

Oh, right. How could you forget?

Your classmates had already begun crowding your desk. Not for you, of course. For Luka. Gorgeous, brilliant, perfect Luka. Someone so beyond your reach- yet, somehow, your best friend. Well, your only friend. But you weren't his only friend. Not by a long shot.

Luka was a magnet. Everyone adored him- his beauty, his grace, his drive. His soft, radiant smile- like rays of sun that melt away the overcast sky. His eyes, a brilliant autumnal hue, as if carved from fire itself. His gentle, grounded voice that cut through all chatter and made people listen. It was as if the room itself bent to accommodate him.

"Ah, not that good...I got a 92." he said, laughing softly.

A knot formed in your stomach. You told yourself, time and time again, don't compare yourself to him. You knew, before you'd even gotten the grades, you'd never beat him. You can't. You're not good enough. Then why did your throat close up? You expected this, didn't you? Heat welled behind your eyes.

God, you just wanted to leave.

The cheers and congratulations had died down. Just when you'd hope their conversation would shift elsewhere- "Oh, [Name], what about you?" Someone prompted. Shit.

Maybe she finally remembered you existed, maybe she felt it was rude to not ask you when you were right there. You didn't care. But it got Luka's attention, and when his attention was on you, everyone's was. You wished that the earth would swallow you whole.

"Hah...u-uh," 86 was good. It was objectively good. It shouldn't embarrass you to admit it. You didn't fail. Should you say that you were sick, so you couldn't study well? Should you play it off as not that good? But, no- that's what Luka did. Shit. "I-It's just an 86." You said, rubbing your neck. Why did that come out so awkward?!

You heard a cacophony of soft Ohs and unexcited Wows. Their gazes burned into you. They were comparing you two. You were sure of it. Ofcourse they would, you both were best friends, after all. You could only imagine what they must be thinking right now.'

Why would Luka hang out with someone like them?'

'How are they even friends?'

'He probably pitites them. He's too kind for his own good.'

You squeeze your eyes shut, trying to steady your breathing. Fuck! Not in front of all these people-

"[Name]! Congrats!" Holy- Luka's joy almost startled you, bright eyed and all. You pictured a golden retriever. If he had a tail, he'd definitely be wagging it right now. "You've worked so hard! I'm so proud of you."

"T-thanks. Uh, you too." Only then did you realize that you'd completely forgotten to congratulate him earlier, and he'd shown such enthusiasm for you, too- God, you didn't deserve him.

Some dispersed, while the others changed their discussion into something else- a rare moment where all the attention wasn't on Luka. Sometimes, you'd wonder, more than you'd like to admit, why he still kept you around. You tried to make other friends, God, you did- you spoke to people, helped people, listened, but after a week or two, everyone was either too busy, too overwhelmed, or just straight up avoided you. It was...strange. They seemed almost afraid of you.

You felt a warm hand wrap around your own, pulling you out of your thoughts. You hated how easily he calmed you. You hated how much you needed him.

Especially since he clearly didn't need you.

"Hey...let's go to the café after school today. My treat!" That came out of nowhere. Well, you supposed it couldn't hurt. It had been a while since you'd gone somewhere together.

You've been so stressed lately with classes, exams, your things going missing...(you were still salty about your favorite jacket. Where could you have possibly placed it?) and this constant, persistent feeling of being watched. Sometimes, you'd see movement- behind the pole, in the bushes, always in the corner of your eye. Your imagination drove you mad.

Maybe a change of pace would help.

"Okay, who else?"

"Just us, hun. It's been so long, and well," He hesitated. "I want to talk."

"Huh? About what?" Is he finally sick of you? 'Hey, let's not hang out so often anymore.' No no no. If you lost him too-

"We barely get any alone time in college. You're so...closed off, nowadays. I can't stand it. It feels like we're...drifting apart."

Oh. Oh, shit.

He squeezed your hands tight. Uncharacteristically tight. "I miss you. Even though you're right here. There's this- this wall between us, now. I hate it. I want you back. I want us back," he sighed.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Oh, how you wish you could. "Clearly there's something, or...someone bothering you. If you won't tell me, I'll find out. But I deserve to hear it from you." He brought your hands closer. "Please, [Name]. Let me in."

There you saw it. The meek little kid who approached you in middle school during lunch, stuttering through his introduction, as he asked quietly if he could sit with you. Who wouldn't speak unless spoken to. Who only ever laughed with you. Now years later looking at you with eyes so hurt, begging you to tell him what's wrong.

"It's you," you blurt, immediately regretting those words as soon as you register the shock on his face.

"What?"

"No- no, I mean, shit, that came out wrong," you sigh. "Look, please don't be mad but...I guess I feel jealous of you, kinda." Well, can't back down now. "You're just...so popular and smart and kind and everyone likes you. I...don't exist to anyone. I guess I've just been feeling lonely." You can't believe you're saying this.

"Lonely? [Name], you have me."

"Yeah, and I value you as a friend but you're all I have. I want to have other friends, too. To hang out, chit-chat-"

"Well, we can hang out anytime you want. You don't need anyone else for that. Just call me, whenever you want, and I'll be there. I swear. Just like I've always been."

You didn't know what you were expecting. It's like talking to a wall. "You don't understand, Luka. I want to have other people in my life too. You have so many friends, so much going for you! I have nothing. No one looks at me- and I love you and care about you and you're my best friend but...it's just not fair!"

The class had emptied out by now, no one to hear your outburst. You'd done it. You've lost him too. The one person you still had. "So that's what this is about?"

You waited. Waited for his anger, his hurt. But none of it ever came. "[Name], they don't deserve you." You stared at him. What?  "They don't know you. Not like I do. They won't appreciate you for who you are. They'll use you and throw you away like trash. They don't have the right to you."

You watched, dumbfounded, as his demeanor shifted in the blink of an eye. "Still, I'm so happy you think so highly of me! You are everything to me, so I try to be everything for you. That's all I've ever wanted- to be yours, fully, just as you are mine." His eyes shone with an emotion deep, foreign. It scared you stiff. But it was gone as soon as it came.

"Though, I am sorry, hun. I didn't realize I've been neglecting you. The last thing I wanted was to make you feel lonely." He brought a hand up, stroking loose hair off your face. "You should've told me sooner. I would've dropped everything for you." He was smiling, soft and gentle. Just like always.

"Then again, you've always liked it when someone else took charge. I should've known." No, no, this was different. This-

"Tell you what? Forget about the café. Come home with me."

"L-Luka...what?"

"I won't let you refuse~" he giggled, voice sing song. "It's been so long since we've properly hung out. And..." he trailed.

"I have something to show you. I can't have you thinking all those thoughts about yourself, now, can I? I'll make you understand how much you mean to me. What you are to me. I'll show you. You'll love it."

"We have to make up for lost time, after all."

Your werewolf!boyfriend is insatiable. It doesn’t matter where you are or what time it is- is he gets hard its your responsibility to take care of it.

It could be in the back of a movie theater, your hand massaging his knot as you focus on the movie screen.

Or it could be in a groceries story family bathroom, you on your knees, saliva and cum dribbling down your chin as he fucks your face.

But it could also be in the quiet corner of a gym, your yoga pants pulled down to your ankles as he ruts into you, his snout buried in the crook of you neck to muffle his needy whimpers.

Today it just so happens to be in a dingy club bathroom. Theoretically this is probably the best place for surprise sex. Loud music, everyone’s drunk and so consumed in their own moments that they wont even notice the muffled moans coming from behind s bathroom door. If anyone can hear it over the music.

Your chest is pressed up against the cold graffitied wall, your leg hiked up as your boyfriend fucks into you again and again. You can feel the way his knot grows, each thrust threatening to be the last. “S-so perfect-“ he growls into your ear, nails digging into the soft skin of your hips. All you can do is whimper, beading against your neck as his hot breath fans across your skin. “N-not inside-“ you plead, helpless as he picks up his pace. “Not inside! No! No no-“ you croak, body trembling as he forces himself inside one last time. The stretch forces the air from your lungs. The way his knot throbs against your walls doesn’t help, cock flooding your pussy with hot sticky cum. “M’sorry,” he pants, wet tongue lapping against the nape of your neck, salty beats of sweat exploding on his tastebuds, “Guess you’re gonna have to keep on dancin’ with my cum inside you.” He almost sounds happy about it…

Talking to friends with inept parents is crazy. No wonder they’re like this if their parents kept fumbling

“I’m having trouble adapting to my adult responsibilities” well no wonder, nobody raised you 😭😭😭

Hot tip for future parents: you actually have to guide your kid to adulthood. Feeding them and waiting for them to grow up is not enough since they are not house plants. A little more thought and care is required.

for those lacking certain "adulting" skills, especially things around the house, check out:

mom, how do i...?

and dad, how do i...?

^ there are tons of other resources but these two will teach you some personal hygiene, home or apartment repairs, easy recipes and basic cleaning techniques, even how to schedule doctor's appointments

if youre a renter i cannot recommend the trans handyma'am enough, mercury is a lifesaver, and her channel and accounts are always accepting new questions

there are so many resources, a lot that you dont have to even ask for, just know how to look 🩷 much love

Jumping in here to also suggest "see Jane drill" on YouTube. She's great for bigger projects... stuff like installing appliances or doing major renovation or repair. My husband replaced all the toilets in our house in a weekend using her tutorials. It would have cost $500 per toilet to have a plumber do it but we did it for just cost of materials which was around $200 each.

"Google AI Overview court loss in Germany could spell doom for AI search industry."

It fucking better.

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

Wolf In Sheep Clothing

Yandere Platonic Farm Animals X Wolf Pup Gender Neutral Reader Idea Blurb (Guard Dog Edition)

Summary: A pup is told to infiltrate the Warhill Farm to find an opening, you obviously fail with flying colors. How will the Guard Dogs receive you?

TW: Obsessive Behaviors, Child (Pup) Abuse, Kidnapping (apologies on the cringe)

-As a clumsy pup, you were grabbed by a bunch of teens who thought it’d be funny to dress you in sheep costume. Their hands roughly tugged your tiny legs through the sleeves, the loud jeering covered your shrill yelps.

-A growl reverberated through a treeline, a hulking mass of snarled teeth revealed itself from the shadows. Scared, hands dropped you onto the ground causing you to wheeze momentarily from the force. A shadow slowly covers the sun as it approaches your slack figure. 

-Your caregiver regards your prone figure with judgement. You timidly open your eyes. You remember you weren’t allowed to wander alone–especially due to your small size. Knowing your faults, you lie back first to convey your apologies.

-With a flick of a grey tail, gravity is lost as teeth grab your faux wool. The journey back was filled with sharp silence that only intensified the shame you felt. Orphaned several moons ago, caked with blood, you called for warmth that was long gone. A burden is what you were regarded as this meant more food, finding a caregiver to hold you. It was a mercy that you weren’t left for winter. 

-As the full moon rose, the ravens that circled the air shrieked at the duo’s arrival. Teeth tightened on your nape as it raced through the shrubbery and logs that marked their territory. The scent of the pack caused you to wilt even further. 

-Several eyes glowed in the dim light, eyes pricked at your figure. Barks and cackles echoed through the air when they noticed your costume. You suddenly wish that you tore this off before you came back to the Fenra Pack. 

-A shadow stood tall by the Main Cave, a tall canine with black fur slowly strode forward. A deep voice rumbled through the air, “Did you find the lost whelp?” 

-Ears drawn back, you failed to bite back the whimpers at the disappointment coating his voice. Amber eyes flicker down at you,”No, but I found a sheep.”

-A raven subordinate landed on his head, beak agape at your form. Beady eyes drinking in the sight of the “sheep” in question. Sebastian threw his head back, hysterically laughing at the comical sight,”What are you wearing?!”

-The pack were stuck with an air of disbelief, muttering to themselves at your slack form. Snouts curled in confusion at the image. “Where did they even get that,”one of the head hunters said with heavy exasperation.

-Another huntress piped up,”I think I won the leftovers today. It took them an hour out before they messed up.” 

-The clamor only grew louder until a warning growl cut the air. Eyes pinned towards the Head Alpha, their snouts were pinned shut with the dagger-like teeth bared at them. Assessing the bowed heads, creased eyes went back to the Caregiver and troubled pup. “And why did you sneak out when I forbid you? Also—what are you wearing?”

-Ears flared back, your shaky voice answered back,”I’m sorry! I just wanted to see the outside since the other pack keeps talking about Warhole Farm! Then-then a bunch of two legs grabbed me and put this on me.”

-Each barks caused the Head Pack Leader to look at you with incredulous eyes. The ground suddenly seems more interesting than the esteemed leader. As your eyes dropped down, your Caregiver gave your coat a reprimand shake which jolted you out of your piling thoughts. 

-Sighing, he looked like he aged significantly. Looking at the distance, there were rolling hills. On top of one of the hills lay a red building on the north. Another white cabin close where the two legs rested. The fences towered from any approaching predators while it was guarded by vigilant pets. Obedient at their owners beck and call. They were from the same branch of the wild, but they were domesticated to betray their roots. 

- Sebastian looked down at the dull pup and shook his head in disbelief. “WarHill, pup. It’s WarHill Farm. Who also was foolish to talk this loudly around a pup,”he squawked scanning the crowd. “Speak up, c’mon! Tell your old pal, Seb!”

-At the silence, he tsked with wings thrown up. “Cowards.”

-”Wait!” Eyes glistening as if the moon was gifted for him, Sebastian's wings flared up in revelation. The leader flinched at the loud noise before his ears. Growling slowly at his advisor who chuckled meekly. “I mean wait. Hehe… I have an idea for our sheep wolf here.”

-Tilting his head, his ears flicked in confusion. The raven hopped closer, wing obscuring his words from the curious crowd. A couple muttering as a light peeked in the leader’s eyes, greed embellishing his iris. 

-Drawing back, Sebastian rubbed his wings in anticipation. Clearing his throat, he looked at the pup,”By order of the leader, keep that second coat on and meet us by the fire when the sunrises. You will be tasked with a mission."

-The Pack Leader dismissed everyone with a bark. Staying by the entrance, he watched the crowd depart into their den. Eyes lingering by the pup that was steered into a small den by an impatient caregiver. His eyes flickered with a troubled light for a millisecond before determination took over. This will work and the pack will survive for the fortnight and more. 

-In the morning, you are well fed and cleaned in a lake. Wash any impurities from the wool that covered your shivering body. Tasked with finding any vulnerabilities with the Farm entrances and exits, you braved the forests with tentative steps. 

-Although cowardice curled your throat, you knew two things. One, you mustn’t disobey the Pack Leader no matter how high the order is. Second, this was a clear chance to integrate back into the clan with honor. 

-You just didn’t know how fast your plans would fall for the months to come.

Buddy (Australian Cattle Dog)

-”You have a lot of nerve showing up here. If Dolly wasn’t in the way, I would’ve skinned you bloody, runt.”

-A cautious and cold guarddog. Speckled with white streaks in a mass of black fur, stalking the farm with vigilance for any intruders. He saw through your disguise and his eyes remained pinned ever since. 

-He remembers patrolling the fence when his nose picked up on a wolf in the fence. Stalking closer, he sees on the northern edge of the metal fence, a nest of curled wool–Dolly talking to a smaller figure. His eyes were taken aback by the mass of curls on your bodice. Shaking his confusion, he charged forward. 

-As the faker turned with wide eyes, his vision was blocked by an angry ewe who embodied maternal anger. He was swiftly scolded by the sheep who blocked his every move. 

-Giving up, he crawled back to his post, stewing in anger remembering the sheep that retaliated against his accusations. A baby, he scoffed. No lamb had a fanged grin or pointed claws. He’ll prove it all right, just wait.

-To his dismay, several days passed with no one believing him. He badgered the other guards about his discovery, but he was only met with a scoff or a dismissive wag of a tail. He provided proof of the danger you wield by mentioning you stalking the perimeters at night. A curious lamb, they’d say.

-He tried getting closer to you, but he was shoved back by Dolly's wrath. Didn’t they understand, they were in D-A-N-G-E-R!

-It was one night when he stalked the perimeter, he saw your form curled up in the grass. Outside of Dolly and her flock of friends embrace, you shivered as the merciless gust brushed against your coat. Stomach growling in dismay at the lack of food. Grass isn’t a substantial resource for a pup. But it was the only way to maintain cover.

-Stalking closer, he couldn’t really see a wolf at the moment. He saw a shivering pup which brought some bad memories of his past. Trying to harden his heart, he tried to remember the nature of the wolf and the risks of trying to fester your kind. But your whimpers caused his heart to pang. 

-Turning around, he ran to get some subsidence for you. Returning back, he noticed your attention on his form.

-Flinching, you thought it was really over which caused your eyes to close in defeat. You only felt the earth shift beside you like a bowl of kibble. Meeting his eyes, he only nodded and ran off.

-Since that day forward, his comments became less barbed and more open. He still monitored you, but only for your safety. He could only laugh at your drooped tail as you found no openings. You were really bad at this spy thing.

-You in turn, tested your boundaries, asking for more food and sharing his bowl. Each night is silent with a sense of calm harmony. The distance between you became smaller, trust shown with your back turned from him.

-It was the last moon when you decided it was time to return. Unrest laid in your heart as you listened to the howling in the distance. Home. You couldn’t help, but nuzzle back into Buddy’s coat.

-Sneaking out, you felt a force crush to the fence. Your lungs squeezed as you felt the large body get up causing you to gasp harshly. Teeth dug at your nape harshly, a warning hard enough to remind you. Paws flailing in the air for traction, you whimpered helplessly. 

-Thrown harshly back into the barn, hay bedding flew in every direction. You looked up with startled eyes. Buddy?

-With dark eyes, he snarled at you to get back in. Scared you scrambled into Dolly’s sleeping embrace, trying to ignore the pang of pain. Sleep did not come easy that night.

-Buddy watched closely now, teeth bloody with every reminder he had to dish out to you. Fences were banned from you and you can’t help feeling trapped. Nipping at your heels every time you make a wrong move.

-”You wanted it so badly and you got your wish. Why are you acting so ungrateful?”

Titan (Kangal Shepherd Dog)

-”Hey, get down from there. We wouldn’t want you hurt now.”

-A giant with a larger heart. Thick sandy fur with a dark snout, ivory teeth for wolves at night. Soft coat for gentle flocks at day. He knew first hand you were a wolf pup when he stumbled across the noise. Your long tail gave it out before your scent did.

-He tried placating a fuming Heeler and sheep and it was not easy. Buddy almost lunged at him which caused him to dodge swiftly with a disappointed look. Hurt by the disbelief, Buddy left swiftly with a promise of proof.

-Looking at the shaking pup that licked at their snout nervously, trying so hard to ignore the sheep licking at their face. He couldn’t help, but crumble at the cute sight in front of him. Silently of course, he had a reputation to maintain. Even if you're bred for violence, you are a small babe at the end of the day.

-Tongue lolled, he escorted the two of you to your new flock. The mass of fluff bleating at the sight of a proud mother that clamored on finding their child. He watched with curious eyes as your round eyes expanded with each friendly nuzzle. 

-He was elated on Dolly’s improving health condition. Dolly was in better condition nowadays. No longer in the depressive struggle of finding her lost lamb. It has been months since the wolves dragged her baby away and she wasn’t able to eat or sleep properly in a while. Sleep was the only remedy for her sore heart. And it hurt to find his family like that. 

-It’s the main reason why he keeps sending Buddy your way when you line the fence. He would obviously mention a sound from the perimeter you were exploring. He remembers several nights when he would see you sleep with your hood down, clamping on your disguise and tugging it back onto your slumbering figure. You didn’t need to be here long, just long enough that she got better. 

-He remembers laughing at Buddy’s crazed episodes of finding proof of your long nails. A genetic mutation, he would laugh back. Your teeth, well we can’t judge when we also have them. Your canine scent? Well maybe we didn’t bathe and rubbed it off them. Your eyes would stare at him in surprise with each rebuttal, wonder and relief bleeding over with each word. 

-How cute…He kind of wants to shake you around like a chew toy. But without the chewing part.

-With how you stumble and titter around the sheep, he can’t help, but forget your wolf status. I mean, you are really bad at this gig.

-One day, a shriek rings out the air, hysterical sobbing coming to the center of the flock. Moving politely against the crowd of sheep, he sees Dolly crying about her lost lamb. Meeting his gaze, she begs him to find them before they get killed. 

-You are at the fence stumbling around the entrance (fault from a clumsy farm help). Snickering with mischief you ran out. Scenting the air, you hear large paws slamming against dirt causing you to scramble in panic. 

-The giant chases after the “sheep” into a bush which causes you to be dragged out with branches in your fur. In the mess, shards of bones caught his eye. Dropping you momentarily, he ignored your faint yelp as he inspected it.

-He drops into his rump as horror floods his mind. His vision blurs as a whimper breaks free. Is that–that… Guilt crackles in his heart as the world grows mute. He promised he would find them before–it really is his fault. 

-Pawing at the lamb skull, fractured from powerful jaws. He buried his head into his paws, deaf to the small teeth that tugged at his ears. 

-Panicked, you dug at his ear harder to bleed him. Causing him to flinch. Watery eyes gazed at you and looked down in shame. You couldn’t help, but feel bad for a blood spilled from your clan. Desperation curled at your heart with each heave. 

-“It’s not your fault,”you cried. His head only shook in disbelief in response. 

-”I’m a failure, the flock don’t deserve me,”he pitifully sniffled.

-Licking at his face, you swiped at the drops that fell onto his face. “It’s not your fault. I don’t know what happened, but I know you tried your best. Your flock deserves you.”

-Looking at you silently, he searched your face silently before looking back at the bones. With a heavy heart, he continued to cry silently until sleep took him. While he slept, you looked at the bones and decided to give respect one final time. You buried the bones under the dirt even as your paws grew tired of the force.

-Once finished, you laid your head onto his weeping body. In the morning, you woke up with Dolly the Sheep scolding you on your dirty “hooves”. Your mind wondered the night before and begged the moon that Titan is okay. 

-Titan now looks at you in thoughtful silence, gently licking your face off any debris. Escorting you back into the room. When he notices Buddy's weakening animosity, he says nothing. A wordless agreement exchanged between them as they escort you back.

-He will never violently reprimand you, Buddy does that enough. But he will whisper doubts into your ears. 

-”I just don’t want the same to happen to you. Not–not like the poor lamb before. Please understand I do this for your safety.”

Sweetie (Pembroke Welsh Corgi)

-”You’re awfully fast for a lamb. Race me to that line. Ready se—Hey! Wait!”

-Like the name, easy going, energetic, and a kind guard dog. Rustic cost with white undercoat, small legs for better access to biting heels. Honestly had no idea you were a wolf–because who would be that dumb to sneak on a guarded farm? Also, trusts with an open heart, so willingly blind to a fault. She remembers getting scolded heavily by Titan and Buddy for wearing her heart on her paw (wrist)? 

-She remembered being curious about you due to Buddy’s rambling about you being a “demon dog”, she almost fell for it. 

-But then a massive paw laid on her head, causing her to almost tip over. Looking up, Titan greets her with twinkling eyes. He was laughing at Buddy and reassuring her that Buddy is having his episodes which made him blow up frequently. 

-She remembers from her past owners that episodes on TV, when there are many. It has become a season. She remembers lamenting at Buddy’s rabid barking that they are on their fourth or fifth one. It is rather amusing to see her mentor break at her placating nod. 

-Her mind churns as she runs from defending you like Titan said, to investigating you. The only thing she really found though is that you would be a sucky wolf, if you were one. Watching as you stumble into a puddle, masking your face with muddy water. 

-On a shift one day, she remembers stalking your steps and noticing your speed. How unusual! She wants to race you to that fence once she finishes her training or chores. Though, the corgi doesn’t like to do chores. The animals never listen to her! Bucking at her when she nips hard at their heels or calling her a “city girl”. It is a great secret under the grin that it tears at her confidence.

-Any reassurance from her trainers are left flat. How can she contemplate the validity when they are bigger than her, stronger, too. The doubts just keep piling up, her steps followed in sadness. 

-If only they took her seriously, then she will be able to prove she belongs. She doesn’t want to be left behind like–like before. 

-You watch her wilted frame with a tilted head. Eating at the grass, you ignore the tears of disgust that pile up as you choke it down. Grass…disgusting. 

-Your admiration grows due to her smiles as she is scolded by the elder guard dogs. The determination to fight back against advisories that question her place. Your runt status makes you feel kinship to her.

-It was dinner time with the Farm owners and their family. The smell of mouthwatering casserole and buttery loaf clung to the air. Looking onto the table cloth, there’s a glaze of honey and frosting that lines the vanilla cake, sprinkled with powdered sugar. The two legs welcome the guests on the table as the three guard dogs stood dutifully by the door. 

-Collars embroidered with the Farm Head’s name in gold stitching, her tail wagged as she sat by the table. The rumbles of laughter that emanate from the dinner table with the light spreading a warm glow. 

-It was good, good… Her body shivers as she sits under the tree. The stars fade in and out in mockery of her bad mood. Flipping over, she felt frustrated tears well up as she feels the damn bow clip pinched her ear.

-She’s not sure what happens. She remembers one of the young two legs grabbing her, tugging her roughly at fur. Sticking stickers and accessories onto her fur. Her heart burned when she remembers the family laughing–laughing at her. The shrieking laughter cut into her insecurities as she felt the cold metal clamp onto her. 

-Her flailing and whimpers were ignored as the grip tightened at her. The noise became louder, she remembers nipping as light as she could on the finger. With a yelp, she ignored the growing sobs as she slammed into the door with such speed. Her mind whirl winded, repeating the words that mocked her several times. Doll, is she really just going to be a doll?

-Laying there, her ears pricked at the steps taken towards her. Oh, great. Is it going to be freaking Buddy and Titan, scolding me on something that isn’t my fault. 

-Turning her head, brown eyes widened at the small sheep that looked at her curiously. “Sorry for interrupting you, Sweetie.”

-Shaking her head, she forced a smile,”No, no. You’re good. I’m just relaxing. Why aren’t you with your mama?”

-Wagging your tail, you grinned back,”Ah, I just wanted to look at the stars for a bit. But then! I saw you. If you're not sleeping, can I ask something?”

-Nodding at your figure, she couldn’t help, but stare at your tail. Why is it long anyways? Mutation? “Yeah, shoot me your shot, lil’ lamb.”

-”Can…can you teach me how to be like you…”

-Her eyes widened at your words, “like you”? Squinting her eyes at you, she tried to ignore the slow rhythm of her tail wagging,”Why not just ask Titan or Buddy, they are ages better than me.”

-Grin weakening, you averted your eyes,”Because for them it’s easy to be scary. But you and me are small, so you understand what it’s like to not be taken seriously. I want to scare any predators that try me.”

-Watching you silently, you continued. “Like—like that bark. It got really, really deep. Like a wolf or maybe a monster! You made the other animals run with a single nip and–and I think it’s cool.” Feeling embarrassed, you stopped abruptly.

-Sweetie stared at the small youth that stood in front of her, heart racing. The stars and moon were truly hung by your tiny hooves, she thought dazed. With renewed vigor, she jumped onto her paws even as you cringed at the sudden movement.

-Tugging the bow off her with her hindleg, she felt like she was on top of the world. For a few hours, she taught you to deepen your voice with some practice. Furthermore, she remembers prancing as you complimented her on her lessons. 

-She took to guarding the flock more, butting you back into your mother when she received you from Buddy or Titan. She remembers suggesting a bell when it became too frequent on your visits. 

-Her frequent training she mandated, tired you out. Tuckering you down makes escape less likely. She can’t let you go out, what if you were hurt. She is your mentor, so you understand right?

-She later finds out about your wolf status and becomes more protective. What if others found out? What if the farmer found out? When your hood falls off, she tugs it back on. Nipping your ear to discipline your carelessness.

-She will snitch to her mentors if she finds you missing and comfort you as you weep with a dirty coat. She will lick your tears off and embrace you in a fuzzy embrace. 

-”Hey! You missed your lesson, why don’t you back up from the fence? You are so lucky that I got here and not the other two. Let me tell you, they wouldn’t have been this nice.”

==================================================

End Note: What is morality when we are discussing animals here? This will continue to the other animals, but count this as PT I. Anyways, this will be added to the wall of shame (Master list). I will one day write stories with substance. :)

simon and johnny find out you've never had a threeway

something something being shoulder to shoulder between soap and ghost at the bar, having a night off.

your brain’s far too buzzy in a tipsy haze to keep track of what the conversation’s progressed to. your ears do perk up when gaz, from your lieutenant’s right, mentions something about his lady at home wanting a threeway.

the conversation ignites rapidly from there with the men beside you eagerly sharing their own experiences being involved in threesomes; they were so shameless about it too, sharing the details of their business in that light. you were surprised ghost was sharing, private bloke he was; though he wasn’t saying the words, it was more like johnny explaining that he and simon are often each other’s thirds.

gaz mentions something about how “even captain and his missus have a bunny of their own”. though, with the sounds of what they’ve got going on, it looks to be more than just a threesome.