@insufferablepirate / insufferablepirate.tumblr.com
must feel good as fuck to curse a prince for being rude to you while you were larping as an old woman for no reason
... you know. If I could transform into someone a CEO is ethically obligated to help and then punish them for failing to do so, in such a way that they can only be accepted into society again if they learn basic moral lessons about decency, I don't think I would do anything else ever again.
i sent this gif to a black cowowker at work then later asked my white manager if he likes apple fritters and he was like "i fuckin love apple friters" and she laughed so hard she got a migraine
Avatar Aang, age 17, once got clocked in the face by Firelord Zuko, age 20, because he forgot Zuko is deaf in his left ear and has no peripheral vision on that side either. And made the mistake of not announcing he was right next to Zuko, resulting in jumpscaring the Firelord and being on the receiving end of Zuko's fight or flight response. Unfortunately for Aang, Zuko always chooses "fight".
Aang goes down and somewhere in Zuko's hindbrain, a millisecond before he properly processes the situation, his inner ponytail!prince starts shouting FINALLY FUCKING CAUGHT THE AVATAR
Fortunately what comes out is just fuck fuck fuck
I'm not the first to point it out but fire lord ozai really had just a comically short reign. He fumbled it so badly. Imagine. You get the throne. You tell your gay son to go find a mythical hero who doesn't exist anymore so he'll stop embarrassing you & he really thinks he's gonna do it. Lol. Time to keep this war going for another hundred years. In the time it takes to crack your knuckles the fuckhead actually did it. But then he makes friends with the mythical hero who doesn't exist. And you're like hey wait. Stop that. You've already fumbled it unbelievably badly. Fucked it up on a scale most rulers could only dream of. You get pacifism blasted straight to hell. Your gay ass son is the new king. What the fuck. And then you like die in prison and nobody cares
Cannot stress enough that he gave Zuko a purposefully impossible task (find the avatar) and three (3) years later he actually fucking did it. He gets like a messenger hawk or whatever saying hey the avatar is alive. Btw. & he's like what the fuck. & within six months of this he has fumbled not only the crown but also the war started by his great grandfather, ongoing for a full century, until YOU 🫵 (Ozai) tried to be funny. Little did he know the power of friendship was about to be hilarious
Imagine if sisyphus was like hey boss I'm about to finish rolling that boulder like you asked me to 👍 & then it rolls back down and kills you instantly
I don’t say this often, but you really should unmute and listen to the song

The four elements and the masters. AVATAR AANG: THE LAST AIRBENDER (2026)
A few years down the line Jon gets hit with the kryptonian equivalent of sex pollen during a mission. The other heroes gather around whoever his love interest is at the time to protect them cause a horny kryptonian with no inhibitions is potentially very dangerous.
Except Jon completely ignores his love interest and instead speeds off in the other direction, following the sound of Damian's heartbeat to Gotham. Damian, who is in the middle of interrogating some bad guys with Batman and some other bats, without warning finds himself pinned against a wall with Jon's tongue in his mouth.
It only takes a few moments of general confusion for them to figure out that Jon isn't in his right mind, and Damian himself ends up being the one to subdue him with kryptonite from his utility belt, but not before he has lost a few articles of clothing and a fair bit of his dignity.
When Jon regains his senses he is riddled with guilt and has no idea how he'll be able to face anyone after this. His love interest won't even look at him, and what's worse, Jon doesn't know how to even begin to apologise to Damian. Especially since Jon is now forced to confront the feelings for his best friend that he has been ignoring and burying for years, and the fact that he may have permanently screwed up that friendship.
Damian meanwhile is no stranger to being attacked by people he trusts, usually due to manipulation or mind control or just to say hello. This particular mode of attack is new, but he never actually felt like he was in danger. After all, if Jon had truly lost all control, his super speed would have made it impossible for them to subdue him, not to mention he would probably have accidentally broken at least a few bones. Still, Jon wasn't aware of what he was doing, and Damian finds that irks him more than the actions themselves.
mutuals, out of curiosity what season were you born in and what's your favorite season?
i post sometimes about wishing that i could eliminate my body's need for sleep but thinking about it lately it's making me curious.
reblog for sample size if desired
being an adult is a weird combination of wanting to sleep all the time but also reacting to it being your bedtime a little like a toddler who doesn’t want to take a nap
Bruce isn't allowed to have a favorite child. His children will riot.
Bruce also isn't allowed not to have a favorite child. His children will riot.
Therefore, Bruce has a rotating schedule:
Monday = Tim
If there's one person who hates Mondays as much as Bruce, it's Tim. They quietly suffer together. Monday belongs to Tim.
Tuesday = Dick
Somehow Tuesday is even worse than Monday. Bruce requires an emergency dose of optimism, terrible puns, and his first baby bouncing into the Cave. Tuesday belongs to Dick.
Wednesday = Cass
Cass has dance class (if she's in Gotham at the time), and Bruce wouldn't miss watching her perform for the world. Wednesday belongs to Cass.
Thursday = Damian
Damian spends Monday through Thursday finishing his newest art project, because in his mind taking an entire week for anything is for the weak.
Also, Thursday is the day Damian decides Bruce is required to accompany him to a cat café or for ice cream.
Why Thursday? Because Bruce traditionally did father-child outings on Fridays, and Damian wanted his own day.
Who was Bruce to say no?
Friday = Jason
Jason stays the longest on Fridays. He would come and raid the pantry, the library, then he stays for dinner and for family night.
Bruce treasures every extra hour he gets with his son, even if Jason is only here for the free food.
Saturday = Steph
Steph believes Saturdays were invented for causing problems and shopping, and somehow always convinces Bruce to pay for whatever she wants.
This is entirely her fault because she refuses to use the allowance card Bruce keeps trying to give her.
Sunday = Duke
Sunday belongs to his Sunshine. No further explanation.
Everything is subjected to change because his children are gremlins. So if anyone annoys Bruce on their day, favorite-child status is immediately transferred to:
A. whoever called him "Dad" most recently.
B. whoever hasn't given him a headache lately
C. whoever hugged him last.
Alfred, meanwhile, has exactly one favorite grandchild. It's Jason, and he admits it out loud.
it was not on wheat...
