are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

After 13 years of this, it's still funny to me that detailing a full mental breakdown on tumblr is standard fare, but posting a nice selfie is a fraught decision.

this is the correct way around and every other social media site is wrong

we're for real gonna be telling stories about this man for centuries

yall I feel like I'm floating right now

i would hate to be a big fish in a small pond because that’s uncomfortable and i would hate to be a small fish in a big pond because that’s scary. why can’t they just make a pond that’s proportionate to my size

wizards of the coast is really innovating if you're into apocalyptically incestuous cultural sludge, digested and regurgitated to only barest recognisability for viable producteering

trade unionism : classical anarchism :: punk gigs : contemporary anarchism

"but evilsoup, as a marxist, do you really have a leg to stand on here? like what is the social basis of your ideology in 2026" to which of course i respond: "😭"

if you look at the type of men gay men are attracted to they're typically hairy muscular guys who look like they're someone's dad (steve rambo, billy herrington, etc)

if you look at the type of men straight women are attracted to they're typically skinny effeminate youthful boys with bad hairstyles (justin bieber, the beatles, etc)

this is because men's attraction is pure and chaste and intellectual whereas women's attraction is basal and lustful and inherently pedophilic

just tried to reference the xkcd "today's lucky 10,000" comic but I wanted to explain xkcd first, so I was like "you probably know the one about experts in the field overestimating their audience's familiarity with the subject matter" and uh. he didn't. love me some irony

just had a vision of someone using Claude to write their suicide note for them

You wake up one morning, and feel something is off. Your pillow smells strangely sweet. You’re still groggy with sleep, and try to hug your pillow closer. A piece of it simply breaks in your hand. It is made of chocolate.

You try to pull the blanket off of yourself, and you realize that, it too, is made of chocolate. You try to shake it off, and step out of bed. Your carpet feels strangely spongy. You look down, only to realize it’s actually cake. Lovingly baked, and smelling of sweet fruit. You grab a piece, and cautiously take a bite. It is one of the most delicious cakes you have ever eaten.

You get up, confused, and exit your room to see if the rest of your house is like this. The door handle melts in your hand as you hold onto it, and covers it with dark chocolate carefully painted gold. The rest of the carpet on the floor is still cake, the guardrails on the stairs leading down are tempered chocolate, the tiles on the floor are the same, the windows are sugar glass, everything is edible.

You run outside, knocking over the lovingly crafted chocolate front door in a panic.

You realize, in horror, that your house was not an exception. The bushes, the grass, the asphalt on the road, the trees, birds, the world itself, is chocolate.

Somewhere, not too far away, stands a man. Amaury fucking Guichon.

I'm gonna stop you right there

You ain't stopping shit.

this sculpture is from 2011 by artist sara swink

cats have been bothering humans since at least 2011

by disagreeing with me on this topic, you're aligning yourself with everyone else who disagrees with me, which includes the Chaos Death Cult, and they chaos kill people so....

we dont chaos kill that many people.

Well If You Say It's Not That Many

There's nothing to be scared of as long as you don't look forward in time. Good Morning!!!