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Luck Be A Lady Tonight

@critterificcasinoau

Very loosey goosey mob AU. Do I know how the mafia works? Fuck no. Do I know Italian? No. I just wanna write my scrimblos being in suits btw 18+ content ahead. Swearing, sexual themes, etc. FEEL FREE TO SEND EXPLICIT ASKS I GUESS

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I’ll be writing this in my normal style, but also as if describing a video or animatic. So. It’ll be messy

Gonna do it in little parts! Here’s part 1.

Song: The Devil’s Dance Floor

Artist: Flogging Molly

[0:00-0:07]

The camera sits at the exterior of a bar- Flannigan’s- the camera zooms into the bar and rests focus on Touille as the tin whistle starts [0:07-0:17]

showing the rat dressed in the dark colors of a funeral suit. He opens a pocketwatch showing a younger version of himself and a rat with greying hair, though facial details are blurry. He slugs back a drink and roughly slams his head onto the bar.

[0:18-0:32]

The bar around him whips into a frenzy as the drums kick in, a fight breaks out, central focus still on Touille until a blue hand rests on his shoulder and turns him around. He flinches- not at the sudden movement but the smell of seasalt and chocolate hitting his face as the person who turned him around smiles down at him.

[0:32-0:39]

Her breath began to speak

As she stood right in front of me

The camera pans to show Maggie looming over him, face shadowed-

The colour of her eyes

Were the colour of insanity

Maggie leans forward, showing wild eyes and a sharp grin. A massive scar runs across her face, jagged as if some sailor caught her with a fishhook and YANKED it.

[0:40-0:46]

Crushed beneath her wave

Like a ship, I could not reach the shore

We're all just dancers on the Devil's Dance Floor

She grabs the rat by the arms and pulls him into the bar fight fast enough to leave his empty drink spinning- locket slinging into Touille’s suit pocket as the obscured rat image shakes in laughter before it shuts.

(Part 2)

[0:47-1:00]

Well swing a little more, little more o'er the merry-o

Swing a little more, little more next to me

Swing a little more, little more o'er the merry-o

Swing a little more, on the Devil's dance floor

The chorus plays over a scene of the barfight, the two of them laughing and fighting other patrons.

One guy cracks a keg of beer over Maggie’s back. Touille jumps onto- and then springboards off of- her back to gran the guy by the shirt collar and start beating his face in while Maggie laughs.

[1:01-1:12]

Pressed against her face

I could feel her insecurity

Mother'd been a drunk

And her father was obscurity

Smashcut to Touille and Maggie both laying on the ground after the massive fight, heads pressed against each-other. Behind Maggie’s a ghostly image of a Liqour bottle appears, which shatters and reforms into the shape of a deeper blue shark man, turning away as the hand of a younger Maggie reaches out.

Nothin' ever came

From a life that was a simple one

Pull yourself together, girl

And have a little fun

Touille listens and grabs her face, lips synching to ‘Pull yourself together, girl and have a little fun’ as a smirk draws onto both of their faces

[1:13-1:25]

Well she took me by the hand

I could see she was a fiery one

Her legs ran all the way

Up to heaven and past Avalon

Maggie stands, dragging Touille into the air and dropping him down- him landing on his face and his eyes trailing up her body-

Tell me somethin' girl, what it is you have in store

She said, "Come with me now

On the Devil's dance floor"

Again, Touille’s lips sync, and then Maggie’s-

[1:26- 1:44]

The Chorus plays again, showing the two running around a massive town, causing mayhem and havoc, laughing and smiling and drinking all the while-

[1:45-3:02]

The instrumental starts, showing years going by, the two getting closer- a few snap shots of dates. Touille getting on one knee, only for Maggie to grab his arm and pull him into a kiss- other shenanigans until….

(Part 3!)

[3:03-3:15]

The apple now is sweet

Oh much sweeter than it ought to be

Touille suddenly sitting up in bed with Maggie asleep next to him

Another little bite

I don't think there is much hope for me

He kisses her cheek, waking her up.

The sweat beneath her brow

Travels all the way and headin' south

Another snapshot of Maggie working out while Touille sits nearby, staring lovingly at her as she sweats.

Bleedin' heart's cryin'

'Cause there's no way out

The two getting dressed- Touille pulling his locket from his pocket and smiling at the pictures inside. One of the rat figure from before, and the other is Maggie rather than himself.

[3:17 - 4:00 ]

Scenes and more snapshots of them at the casino in the background as the focus stays on the Pendant- before the older rat winks and slams it shut again as the song ends.

Uh guys, have you seen...

*Falls off from a gap in the landing gear and hops over to Hoppy* "Hewwo"

Gawd damnit, can you guys please bring that little critter back to the orphanage when you are done?

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Dawg I gotta be for real witcha. Why.

Mature content

Anonymous asked:

Simon and Rabie used to date? How long did that last?

“Twoooo months.”

“We parted amicably. We’re now just… life partners.”

“Aka: Married for tax reasons, also I’m a blood donor incase she needs it.”

“And we occasionally have sex. Which Day and Nap are fine with-“

“You say they’re fine with it but CatNap once grabbed a pigeon from mid air and snapped its neck while staring at me.”

“…Hot.”

“Fucking psycho.”

“Youuu love it~!”

Mature content: Sexual themes

The author has indicated this post may contain content not suitable for all audiences.

Hey toullie, I heard you had a headache. Here have this. *a bottle of ibuprofen tablets appears near toullie* also Bobby why are you cuddling him and not Maggie?
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“My wife can be a foodie, sometimes. Also, she has this annoying habit wheneva we go to the beach.”

Pan over to Maggie dancing around like a dork while singing Jaws by Lemon Demon

hey hoppy, you still plan on doing some searching for artifacts?

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The 16 critters slowly pile off the aircraft, marveling at the sights surrounding them. They had landed at the airstrip nearest to the resort they’d be staying at, which also had a good view of the beach.

Everyone was doing something a little different.

DogDay and CatNap were doing stretches

Icky was dragging Al’s sleeping form off the plane and trying to wake him.

Kickin and Bubba were staring at the pristine beach- Bubba keeping a deathgrip on the chicken so his dumbass would’t rush into the ocean.

Hoppy was also stretching, just by herself-

Picky was having a conversation with Maggie about what foods to try-

Baba and Poe were changing into swimwear-

“So what are you feeling, Poe? Trunks, two piece, one piece?”

“Mmm…. trunks, dear.”

“So He/Him today?”

“Indeed-“

Simon and surprisingly Crafty were having a chat-

“I’m actually part Loong-“

“Really? I never knew, I thought you were all Western Dragon.”

“Nah, see the big floppy ears?”

“Hehe, oh yea.” She gently pats one of his ears, causing his scales to turn a dash more Crimson.

Touille was having a migraine and being cuddled by Bobby until it stopped.

Rabie was the last person off the plain, mainly due to the fact she was experiencing massive jetlag. She… also refused to let DogDay or CatNap help her, since she was a LITTLE annoyed at all the fussing.

“OH! Hey, the voices are back, guys!”

“Hopppyyy! My headdd.”

“Oh- Sorry Touille.”

“Uh- to answer the questions. Yes we’re still going to search for magical items. Also we’ve never really done a lot of big, group vacations.”

Hi. Announcement: IF YOU ARE UNDER 16-18 YEARS OLD, DO NOT INTERACT WITH MY BLOGS. DO NOT FOLLOW THEM, DO NOT LIKE THEM. ALL OF MY BLOGS CONTAIN ADULT TOPICS. WHY 16 to 18 and not just ‘if you’re under 18’? Because where I live people that are 16 can consent, so it’s just- a thing in my brain. WHATEVER. It’s not anything personal. I just- it makes me WILDLY uncomfortable. Please don’t make me comb through my god dang follower list to have to root anyone underage out like ticks.

ALL BLOGS ARE GOING ON HIATUS EXCEPT:

‘Oh but if you’re putting a buncha blogs on hiatus why do you keep making more’

I can’r CONTROL THE INSPERATION WHEN IT HITS OKAY?! IT JUST HITS AND I GOTTA GO WITH IT!

THE OTHER BLOGS WILL… EVENTUALLY COME BACK. PROBABLY. MY MIND IS A FUCKING PRISON.

Non-Canon post.

CatNap and DogDay saunter up to the rival group’s hideout. Both dressed in pressed suits, sunglasses- the whole 9 yards of professional attire.

CatNap taps his ear as he stands infront of the door. He lifts his leg-

[Oh Mama- Run the Jewels starts playing]

CatNap hefts a pistol and headshots one of the mooks, throwing himself to the side as a knife flies through the air. Ot slams into DogDay’s chest- the metal shattering as the canine dives into the room, slamming his elbow into another grunt.

Twelve men. Two Critters.

DogDay’s like a living wall, bullets and knives bouncing off him or shattering.

CatNap moves like a shadow, weaving and dodging and ducking.

That is until a silvered bullet tears a chunk out of CatNap’s tail.

The feline jolts, Blessing disabled from the silver- a knife slashing across his chest and causing a surge of blood.

DogDay’s vision goes red as he sees CatNap collapse from the pain- he lunges for the goon that dared to harm HIS kitty, ripping off one of his arms in a single motion and throwing him towards the man with the silver bullets.

The fight peters out just as DogDay starts losing steam, the stockpiled strength running out and leaving him panting and gasping as he walks over and helps CatNap up.

“Kitty? You good?”

“Gruh… Y-yea, Day. I’m just- Pain. Being so lucky you never get scratched means you can’t build up a tolerance, yaknow?”