A call out for writers, worldbuilders, theory-crafters, self-taught engineers, linguists and/or mapmakers

If you are down to do a feedback swap than you have come to a place. Whether it is the right place? Only hindsight will tell.

Post your work and Ill read through your first chapter (or two if they are short) and if you could do the same for me it would mean the world. Not asking for reviews or ratings specifically. Just feedback that you are more than welcome to post in this thread.

My fledgling story: Adventures of an Exiled Demon, Chapter 1: Two-Eyed Demon

The Bromeliad #1: Bartleby Bromelard, Renegade Scrivener is my fiction. Where would you like your feedback, here or as a comment on the chapter?

Either is good. Similarly for those wanting reviews post where you want it

Yeah, I'm down for a feedback swap, though I don't really want it on the first chapter. Can you do my 2nd chapter instead? You don't need to read the first chapter to follow this one.

https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/177597/basic-thaumaturgy-for-the-emotionally-incompetent/chapter/3611594/chapter-2-scientists-borrowed-reagents-all-the

I made a grammar edit suggestion, but overall it is amazingly clean. The story is compelling so far.

It was a little jarring to see you used Mithril but changed the spelling. I have to wonder why you made that choice. It took me out of the narrative for a moment to process. But that's just me.

I liked the prisoner-as-mentor idea. I found myself rooting for Augustus, and toward the last paragraphs was saying to myself, "Please don't let him wake up as a dungeon core!" 

I guess I'll have to read chapter 2 to see, but hopefully not! I'm actually looking forward to it, so I'll know soon enough. ;)

I'd appreciate if you left a comment on my chapter page. Thanks!

Here's the comment "The Eighth Absolute" 

Mythril vs mithril. Total accident  (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻ . Thanks for pointing it out.

Hi Oasis. I’d be interested in joining the exchange.

My novel is Kosmos: War for Existence, an epic fantasy story with adventure, character growth, real danger, and a serious tone.
Here’s the link to the first chapter for anyone who would like to read it and leave an honest comment:

Read Chapter 1

I’ll leave my thoughts in the comment section of your chapter, and I’d appreciate it if you could do the same for mine when you have the time.
I’m especially interested in honest feedback on clarity, pacing, the opening hook, the characters, and whether the world feels engaging from the beginning.
Thank you for opening this space.