Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper (Issue No. 19 is out!)

Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper (Issue No. 19 is out!)

#1 by imeru
Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

"We tell the truth! Lol"

Opening the site to find over 100 notifications? Don't know what's happening?

Road Rhyme Royal (RRR) will cover the most important events in "General" and "Just For Fun".

***

Issue No. 1
Issue No. 2
Issue No. 3
Issue No. 4
Issue No. 5 
Issue No. 6
Issue No. 7
Issue No. 8
Issue No. 9
Issue No. 10
Issue No. 11
Issue No. 12
Issue No. 13
Issue No. 14
Issue No. 15
Special issue
Issue No. 16
Issue No. 17
Issue No. 18
Issue No. 19
***
Breaking News! Corv1an's Rumble Victory Was Bought!
Most readers will doubtless be acquainted with RainyLiquid's Rumble, Rumble Rumble! — a cultural event which, though relatively young in years, has already accumulated a rich body of tradition and history. Many still fondly remember the very first Rumble thread, long since swallowed by the void, now wrapped in mystical legend within the collective memory of the forum's people. Rumble contestants wield wit, anime powers, and even trading cards in glorious combat, striving to triumph in the tournament and claim the fabled prize bestowed by Rainy herself. The third season was more spectacular and epic than anything that had come before! And yet — shortly after the winner was announced, something utterly shocking came to light.
At Corv1an's afterparty, tournament organiser and head judge Rainy — also RoyalRoad's queen and one of the candidates in the upcoming elections — unexpectedly confessed that Corv1an had furnished her with a bribe in order to improve his odds of victory. Corv1an initially attempted to deny all allegations, before suspiciously vanishing without a trace. RRR will continue its journalistic investigation into this affair.
Many have voiced their outrage and profound disappointment at Corv1an's contemptible conduct toward the hallowed traditions of Rumble's integrity and sporting spirit, and eagerly await his formal apology for his misconduct. The gravity of the situation is compounded considerably by the fact that Corv1an is the host of the forthcoming elections, casting a long shadow over that event as well. At the very same afterparty, Rainy was quick to point out that Corv1an had been dragging his feet with suspicious deliberateness when it came to including her candidacy on the ballot. The question thus arises: are corruption and back-room dealings to be expected at the elections too? We shall see.
***
Royal Road Presidential Elections Tomorrow!
Election initiator and host Corv1an has announced that the Royal Road elections will be held tomorrow. Readers are kindly reminded that the President and other elected officials will have no bearing whatsoever upon the workings of the Majestic Transcendent Divine Sentinels (or MODS) — and yet many have expressed enthusiasm at the prospect of having someone to hold accountable and blame for such pressing matters as, say... slow internet connectivity to the site. Some candidates sank deep into the mire of unity propaganda, others into outright demagoguery — making promises well beyond any mortal's reach, reserved exclusively for the MODS — while still others openly auctioned off offices to the highest bidder. Titles such as queen, god-emperor, and Holy Roman Emperor were tossed about with reckless abandon, sowing only further chaos. Even the local cult's high priestess, Muffin — though not an official candidate — saw fit to wade in and endorse one of the contenders, raising grave concerns about the fusion of religious and political power.
Well, tomorrow it shall all be resolved. Corv1an announced that the elections will take place tomorrow "according to his time," which one can only interpret as roughly 8 hours ahead of the UTC time zone. Who shall earn the privilege of serving as the voice of the forum's people? Will the elections be manipulated? Will fresh corruption scandals come to light? RRR will observe the elections closely, as the impartial party it has always been.
Should anyone ask why none of the candidates have been named: no one has paid me to do so.
***
Is Muffin's Free Clinic a Scam?
The local cult's beloved leader, Idiot Muffin — cherished for granting the masses the opportunity to anonymously confess their sins — has recently embarked upon a new venture: a "free" clinic, offering medical (non-serious) advice to all comers. The attentive reader may have noticed the quotation marks around "free." For while Muffin did, in the beginning, genuinely dispense advice at no charge, things have since taken a rather different turn — and a great many anonymous individuals have come forward to lament unexpected invoices arriving from the clinic, along with suspicious requests for credit card information. Could it be that Muffin has fallen prey to the seductive clutches of avarice? What does this portend for the future of the Confession Thread? RRR will continue to monitor this matter closely. In the meantime, all readers are hereby warned that a visit to Muffin's Free Clinic may prove to be rather less free than advertised...
***
Next Rumble, Rumble Rumble! Season in October.
RainyLiquid has announced that the next tournament will be held in October (all being well — one can never truly know). This affords prospective participants ample time to acquaint themselves with the battle history of the first season and prepare accordingly. Readers are cautioned that the fighting spirit still burns with considerable ferocity in certain veterans of the last tournament — so one ought not be surprised if, mid-thread, someone suddenly produces a katana or a Yu-Gi-Oh card in response to a perfectly ordinary post.
***
Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper — Seeking Correspondents.
Do you consistently obtain the freshest intelligence (read: rumours)? Have you cultivated contacts in shadowy places? Do you know what truly lurks behind the forum's threads? Apply to become a freelance correspondent for our paper! Send your dispatches to the editorial board. Anonymity guaranteed. (Please do not confuse the newspaper with the Confession Thread, which exists for your own sordid personal secrets. We are interested in the sordid secrets of others — particularly those of prominent figures, or candidates for prominent figures.)
***
Sluggish Traffic on the RR Site. Is This a Conspiracy?
Experiencing difficulty loading the site, opening threads, or submitting your post? You are not alone — others are suffering alongside you. Please refrain from gnawing on your internet cable or chewing the antenna off your modem; it will not help.
The editorial board has noted that the connectivity issues intensified markedly shortly after we announced our intention to establish a newspaper dedicated to exposing the corruption festering within these forums. This, needless to say, arouses considerable suspicion that certain parties are endeavouring to prevent the truth from coming to light. Does a secret cabal operate within these forums, concealing its existence from the public while clandestinely manipulating this correspondent's internet connection? The editorial board vows not to yield, and to continue publishing the truth — even if it must be delivered at a rate of 1 kilobit per minute.
***
Announcements.
Do not open the thread titled "Open This Thread." /Editorial Board/
Found: one pen bearing the inscription "HeyHe." The pen is three-quarters full. /Anonymous/
***

Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper™ is a non-profit organization (for now, we're open to offers). We accept rep donations.
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 Reborn in a fantasy world and
 is secretly learning magic.
 But power has a price.
 Decisions have consequences.  

https://i.imgur.com/j3MhCKN.jpeg


The local newspaper
(It's real, not a twisted parody... trust me!)


Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#3 by Corv1an
imeru Wrote:
Extremely Important! Corv1an's Rumble victory was bought!

Most likely, the majority of readers are familiar with RainyLiquid's Rumble, Rumble Rumble!, a cultural event that, though relatively new, has already grown rich with traditions and history. Many still remember the very first Rumble thread, which vanished into oblivion, wrapping itself in mystical legend within the forum folk's memory. Rumble participants engage in epic battles using their wit, anime powers, and even trading game cards to fight for victory in the tournament and claim the mystical Rainy's prize. The third season was more impressive and epic than ever before! But shortly after the winner was announced—Corv1an, who clinched victory with 24 points—something shocking occurred!

During Corv1an's afterparty, the tournament organizer and judge Rainy, unexpectedly confessed that Corv1an had offered bribes to fix his chances of winning. Initially, Corv1an attempted to deny the accusations, but then suspiciously disappeared. RRR will continue journalistic investigation into this matter.

Many have expressed their outrage and disappointment over Corv1an's disgraceful conduct toward the Rumble's traditions of integrity and sportsmanship, and eagerly await his official apology for his misconduct. The situation is made more serious by the fact that Corv1an is the host of the upcoming elections, casting a shadow over this event as well. At that same afterparty, Rainy was quick to point out that Corv1an had been suspiciously reluctant to include her candidacy in the elections. This raises the question: Should we expect corruption and backroom deals in the elections as well? We shall see.
In response to this, I would like to mention Rainy's previous history of slander towards users such as HeyHe and Evercrest. Also as a citizen of South-East Asia, Paypal does not exist here lol(which she said I used to pay her). Furthermore, our history previous to rumble rumble was more of an antagonistic stance due to her initial disapproval of my election hosting, so I say that some of these facts are greatly exaggerated.

Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#5 by Skarabrae
imeru Wrote: Many have expressed their outrage and disappointment over Corv1an's disgraceful conduct toward the Rumble's traditions of integrity and sportsmanship, and eagerly await his official apology for his misconduct. The situation is made more serious by the fact that Corv1an is the host of the upcoming elections, casting a shadow over this event as well. At that same afterparty, Rainy was quick to point out that Corv1an had been suspiciously reluctant to include her candidacy in the elections. This raises the question: Should we expect corruption and backroom deals in the elections as well? We shall see.

If  Corv1an isn't going to be elected leader anymore, can I be Holy Roman Emperor?

Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#8 by Daydreaming scribe
Corv1an Wrote: In response to this, I would like to mention Rainy's previous history of slander towards users such as HeyHe and Evercrest. Also as a citizen of South-East Asia, Paypal does not exist here lol(which she said I used to pay her). Furthermore, our history previous to rumble rumble was more of an antagonistic stance due to her initial disapproval of my election hosting, so I say that some of these facts are greatly exaggerated.
You've truly mastered the art of double speak. I notice that you did not deny buying the win, only dancing around the topic to shift suspicion. 

DrakanGlasses

Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#9 by imeru
Corv1an Wrote: In response to this, I would like to mention Rainy's previous history of slander towards users such as HeyHe and Evercrest. Also as a citizen of South-East Asia, Paypal does not exist here lol(which she said I used to pay her). Furthermore, our history previous to rumble rumble was more of an antagonistic stance due to her initial disapproval of my election hosting, so I say that some of these facts are greatly exaggerated.
Thank you for your statement.


Corv1an Wrote: i’ll go thru u when i wanna host new event threads
The newspaper's editorial office will be happy to publish announcements about all upcoming events.  DrakanGlasses


Skarabrae Wrote: If  Corv1an isn't going to be elected leader anymore, can I be Holy Roman Emperor?
The RRR editorial board is not authorized to issue titles.  DrakanZip
Please contact the winner of the upcoming election.

Ghostcat Wrote: https://www.royalroadcdn.com/public/smil...RdQsww.png
peoeating

Daydreaming scribe Wrote:
imeru Wrote: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper
I think this is the best thing I've read on the forum.
The RRR editorial team fully agrees.  peocool
https://i.imgur.com/l1IIETy.png


 Reborn in a fantasy world and
 is secretly learning magic.
 But power has a price.
 Decisions have consequences.  

https://i.imgur.com/j3MhCKN.jpeg


The local newspaper
(It's real, not a twisted parody... trust me!)


Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#10 by Daydreaming scribe
imeru Wrote: Is Muffin's free clinic a scam?
As an official nurse in Doc Muffin's clinic this is outrageous slander! Doc muffin has done nothing except open her heart to help the poor users of this forums. She's bravely cured many satisfied users like: 

Kitshaar: "I can't fly"
 Truly tragic to be a turtle and not realise it, fortunately doc was there to save the day. 

High Guy Magic: " One piece has completely consumed my life. Please help."
A desperate circumstance, his life would have been consumed to this day had Doc not told him to get a second piece. 

HeyHe: redacted
If not for doctor he would still be misinformed about basic biology "Trust your gut UwU The first idea always comes from there~"

RainyLiquid: " My wife sometimes ignores my messages and takes forever to respond!!!"
Doc showed her profound knowledge in matters of the heart by curing this lost cause, singlehandedly saving the marriage. 

I myself was saved by doc after being left homeless and destitute when she offered me a job for the incredibly low cost of $10k/m.

To slander doc in this brazen a manner is to slander the very heart of this forum. It says nothing of her character but speaks volumes of your journalistic integrity. I fully expect a public apology to doc in the next issue.

Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#15 by imeru
Daydreaming scribe Wrote:
imeru Wrote: Is Muffin's free clinic a scam?
As an official nurse in Doc Muffin's clinic this is outrageous slander! Doc muffin has done nothing except open her heart to help the poor users of this forums. She's bravely cured many satisfied users like: 

Kitshaar: "I can't fly"
 Truly tragic to be a turtle and not realise it, fortunately doc was there to save the day. 

High Guy Magic: " One piece has completely consumed my life. Please help."
A desperate circumstance, his life would have been consumed to this day had Doc not told him to get a second piece. 

HeyHe: redacted
If not for doctor he would still be misinformed about basic biology "Trust your gut UwU The first idea always comes from there~"

RainyLiquid: " My wife sometimes ignores my messages and takes forever to respond!!!"
Doc showed her profound knowledge in matters of the heart by curing this lost cause, singlehandedly saving the marriage. 

I myself was saved by doc after being left homeless and destitute when she offered me a job for the incredibly low cost of $10k/m.

To slander doc in this brazen a manner is to slander the very heart of this forum. It says nothing of her character but speaks volumes of your journalistic integrity. I fully expect a public apology to doc in the next issue.
Muffin demanded 10,000 a month from you for allowing you to work at her clinic.
  peojudging

 But don't worry, I feel that this topic will be explored in more detail in the next issue...
https://i.imgur.com/l1IIETy.png


 Reborn in a fantasy world and
 is secretly learning magic.
 But power has a price.
 Decisions have consequences.  

https://i.imgur.com/j3MhCKN.jpeg


The local newspaper
(It's real, not a twisted parody... trust me!)


Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#17 by Dragons are cool say otherwise
imeru Wrote: Is Muffin's free clinic a scam?

The local cult leader, Idiot Muffin, beloved for the opportunity to anonymously confess sins to her, recently launched a new venture—a "free" clinic to provide medical (non-serious) advice. The reader may have noticed that "free" is in quotation marks. While initially Muffin indeed gave advice without charge, this changed later, and many have anonymously complained about unexpected bills from the clinic and suspicious requests for credit card information. Could it be that Muffin has fallen prey to greed? What does this mean for the Confession thread? RRR will continue to follow this case in the future as well. For now, all readers are warned that visiting Muffin's free clinic may not be so very free...
when muffins doing it its mostly free but if you have nurse rainy run she charges 5 million per so run its all rainys fault! NO no no rainy no ill pay you just wait noooooooo
Dragons are cool and no dont reply with: no they're hot. As Ice dragons are a thing.

Re: Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

#20 by imeru
Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper

Issue No. 2


"We tell the truth! Lol"

Opening the site to find over 100 notifications? Don't know what's happening?
Road Rhyme Royal (RRR) will cover the most important events in "General" and "Just For Fun".

 

***

 

Extremely Important! Idiot Muffin's "free" clinic gets sued!

Recently, Muffin's "free" clinic began expanding its operations, hiring several nurses. But it appears that in her immeasurable greed, Muffin decided that instead of paying wages to one of her employees, Dragons are cool say otherwise (Dasco), she would demand payment from him for the privilege of working at her clinic. While some other employees seem content with such arrangements (strangely enough), Dasco expressed a different attitude and said, I quote: "just got to say no im suing you that sort of pay is below the minimum wage." It looks like the forum folk will soon witness a court case: Dragons are cool say otherwise versus Muffin's clinic. Corv1an, the election debate moderator, has announced to the RRR editorial office about a Court thread tomorrow.

Muffin response to the accusations was: "I am immune to cases cause my very first post mentions that you can't file a case against me UwU. So nope, invalidated UwU"
RainyLiquid, one of the election candidates, volunteered to defend Muffin in court.

The RRR editorial office has investigated and discovered that Idiot Muffin is in close, personal relations with Rainy. This raises concerns that if Rainy wins the elections, she will allow Muffin to slip from the harsh hand of the law, reshaping that hand according to her own discretion. Perhaps soon, the minimum wage for everyone in the forum will be paying employers 10,000 monthly. Will the court manage to convict Muffin before the elections end? Will the election winner use their power to help one of the sides? The RRR editorial office will follow the development of events with great interest.

***


MODS recognize RRR!

As many readers will have noticed, the Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper™ thread is now pinned! The RRR editorial office sincerely thanks the Majestic Otherworldly Divine Sentinels for the honor and recognition shown to us as the forum people's media. We will definitely not abuse the power granted to us. The editorial office reminds readers that we are not responsible for matters outside "General" and "Just for fun."

***

 
Election debates! The most important events!

Today began the first RoyalRoad forum people's presidential elections... or so it seemed to us. One of the MODS, the highly esteemed Wing, honored the people with her presence and graciously suggested changing the title to "Lord" or something similar, to which the election moderator, Corv1an, also agreed. See the thread for the complete list of possible titles. Part of the populace seemed displeased, and one of the candidates, RainyLiquid, even suggested overthrowing Wing from power! Fortunately for Rainy, in her mercy Wing did not use her power to banish Rainy into oblivion... Instead, someone else got banished by accident, it seems. Ups! The RRR editorial office will attempt to clarify this matter.

During the election debates, moderator Corv1an dared to ask only one question about the Topic-That-Must-Not-Be-Named. The candidates surprisingly demonstrated great restraint, not crashing out and smashing furniture, but answering normally with dignity.

Meanwhile, two of the candidates, Rainy and HeyHe, shamelessly manipulated their opponents' quotes, trying to discredit each other and others, or praise themselves. The RRR editorial office, a beacon of journalistic integrity, considers this disgraceful behavior. Shame!

Readers are reminded that the election debates are in progress and not all candidates have had time to speak, so RRR cannot yet comment on a summary of the debates. We follow the development of events with interest.

Readers are also reminded that Corv1an's thread "1st Ever RR Presidential Election!!" is actually the debate thread, and the thread where you can vote for one of the candidates will be opened tomorrow.


***


The truth behind the Skarabrae duel!

Recently, several tournaments took place in the forum. Most know about the prestigious Rumble, but there was also a Beyblade battle and another event where Skarabrae fought against... Skarabrae?

However confusing this may seem, this event attracted several spectators who immediately began betting on the winner and even offering weapons. The event ended with Skarabrae announcing the winner... Skarabrae. What was the meaning of this bewildering affair?

One of our reporters uncovered a shocking truth: Four Skarabraes actually exist!

The first is "Me, Skarabrae," the second "me, Skarabrae," the third is "maybe, Skarabrae," and the newest addition, the winner of the duel, is "Skarabrae"!

This undoubtedly explains Skarabrae's ability to constantly appear in countless forum sections and comment with persistence. But that's not all! The entire duel was merely a money laundering scheme, where bets were placed on an already known winner—Skarabrae!

Perhaps this is something the newly elected Lord (or whatever the title will be) should look into...

 
***


Astrodude robbed! Cookies stolen!

The young drake, Astrodude, who unwisely chose to build his house in the forum's center, experienced a break-in and robbery at his property. As our reporter informs us, SK_Payde, RainyLiquid, High Guy Magic, and Corv1an shamelessly broke into Astrodude's house and did whatever they pleased. Someone just lounged in his bed while others stole all the cookies! None of the culprits has expressed the slightest remorse for their deed and continues occupying poor Astrodude's house like squatters. Shame and disgrace! We truly need an elected official who would restore order!


***

 
Confessions for payment!

An anonymous witness reports that Idiot Muffin offers bribes to get confessions for her Anonymous Confessions thread. Is this yet another of Muffin's schemes? The RRR editorial office asks other witnesses about this matter to come forward. Anonymity guaranteed.


***

 
Message board.

If you would like your message to be posted on the board, please contact us. /RRR Editorial Office/

 
***

Road Rhyme Royal. The local newspaper™ is a non-profit organization (for now, we're open to offers). We accept rep donations.
https://i.imgur.com/l1IIETy.png


 Reborn in a fantasy world and
 is secretly learning magic.
 But power has a price.
 Decisions have consequences.  

https://i.imgur.com/j3MhCKN.jpeg


The local newspaper
(It's real, not a twisted parody... trust me!)


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