Seizure
I have a friend. I've known him for a long time, since I could remember really. It's been so long that I can't remember when our relationship started.. Maybe it was before I was born. We grew up together, you see, I've seen him change so many times into the entity he is today. I can't imagine life without him.
*******
This friend is warm, he holds me tightly and suffocates me in his embrace. Squeezing me tighter as time goes by, not wanting to let me go. His love for me smothers me until I can no longer think. Enveloping my mouth with lust for me, my mind goes blank. He draws me into a deep sleep with him. Everything is dark, inviting and comfortable. I am not afraid. That is how our relationship is. It hurts a little but, not enough to complain. I hold it in. I hold him in.
My family and friends say a relationship like ours is a dangerous one that should end immediately. They fear for me, they want him to stop. They try frantically to find ways to separate us. They wished I'd take it more seriously and honestly, I have. I've tried to stop him from going too far. I've placed barriers and I've even tried avoiding him. But, that seems to anger him. His touch becomes slightly dangerous. My cheeks swell. I have bit my own tongue. This is the first time I've felt this feeling, I am afraid. I don't want to make him mad, I don't know if I can bear it.
As if to concrete himself in my mind, he visits more frequently. Every night now. "I shall never forget you so do not forget me", he wants to say. "I can never forget you or your touch", my heart cries out in reply as it squeezes in pain. I try to clutch my heart with my hand but his embrace tightens. It hurts! I do not scream out. Tears roll down my face. My mind goes blank. When I awaken he is gone. I feel the fatigue and aching of my body from our previous time together. Am I getting too old for this? Things might be getting too dangerous. He has become stronger, I'm not sure if I can fight him.
He used to creep into my room late at night, I would spend the night in his embrace. But now he comes for me even during the day. He wishes for me to sleep with him in broad daylight, with everybody looking. Even following me to school. How embarrassing! THIS IS GETTING OUT OF HAND. I fear.
I know it will happen tonight. My sister stays up with me through the night, we will not go to sleep, we can not allow him to enter tonight. But, she is tired. "It's ok, no matter what we do he will come. We might as well embrace this fact." That's what I said but I have a plan, I plan to fight with my whole life. I am tired and he has arrived. I run to my father but his embrace is strong. "Sssshhhh", he holds his hand around my mouth and engulf me into his massive body, slowly drawing me in. I cannot speak. Deeper into the embrace, so inviting, I fear I might not be able to turn back. He has become so large. I feel my mind slipping. I jump, from the top of the stairs. Lets die together then. The lights in my head go out. I feel...nothing?
I awake in the hospital. I am alone. He does not come back after that. I fear, I am relieved. I fear, I am relieved too soon. I feel anxiety. Where are you. I fear that unknown.
********
It hasn't always been that way. When we were young, he was only a nuisance dancing in front of me, causing distractions while I tried to take in the scenery of my new life. That is all he was. As time went on he became restless with the school bound me. When the attention he sought was not given, he would play pranks on me, making my hands shake uncontrollably. "First the left hand, now the right hand. Lets have them both shake together." He threatened to cause a scene in front of my new friends. I was embarrassed. He was so mean. I told my parents on him. They took us home so that they could deal with him in private. Only him, my father, could get him to stop. Daddy would calm me with meditation and song. Pining for my attention, he poke at my head. "Look at me", he said but I looked at daddy instead, using him as a drug.
Daddy was late from work. I was tired from the long day of helping out around the house and waiting for my drug. I sat down and closed my eyes only to see him, my friend, in my dream. Walking towards me with in this thick darkness, it is only he that I could make out. He has changed. So warm. I did not try to turn away. Why is this so inviting. I walked towards him as his large adult sized hands embraced my fresh adolescence face. He must have also reached puberty this summer. He have grown so much. With my thoughts on him, I go deeper into his embrace. I do not want to let go. This new sensation caught me off guard. I am not sure that we are suppose to be doing this. I try to back out but, he does not let go and I slowly find I do not mind. His face cover my lips and steal my breath away. I would not mind if this dream never end, I thought, but it is getting hard to breathe. I can not think straight...Mama!
After that we would embrace more and more. Once a week, every other night, we slowly closed the gab in time. Every night he would visit me. I was exhausted every morning. My family had become exhausted too. They worried for my health. I still could not tell my friends. But, it happened one day that he was too impatient and snuck up on me while I was walking down the stairs at school. My crush caught me, I was embarrassed beyond belief. My secret was out. He decided to use that opportunity to embrace me more often. Middle-schoolers can be so cruel.
This is how we ended up here now.
**********
It has been years. I get used to being alone. I start to forget his warm embrace but I never forget the time we spent together. It seems you also have not forgotten. either. Who knew a simple dental procedure such as removing wisdom teeth could make him come running. He is loyal.
He appears smaller much like when I found out about his existence. Acting as if he is just learning how we be friends. "It is OK, we can take things slowly. Just promise me that this time you will not hurt me, again." He does not lie, it will sting a bit. I can bear it.
His touch is more gentle. Or is it weaker. I might have grown stronger. That is what I say. In reality I know you are the same, I feel it but I make excuses so that you appear different in front of others. He is as aggressive as ever, maybe even more. I am impressed. He leaves me in a cold sweat. We fight throughout the night this way. I will not give in.
I do not want to fear you. I want to be strong. I want to be stronger. I want to be the strong one. I want you to know that I control this relationship now, Seizure.
I will not fall asleep tonight.
(no subject)
The Winter King sat on a mound of grass in his forest, a great weight on his weathered brow. The long branches of his favourite oak tree stretched their shade over him providing a respite from the glaring sun and yet at core he felt cold. Ritual chanting filtered thinly along the wind over the rippling water of sacred pools and through the whispering leaves from the palace some distance away where he spent his time in the cold seasons, for the rain and the frost touched him deeper now than they had in his youth. Of late he had been wandering the glades and thickets of his home in search of something though he did not yet know what it was or what form it would take when he found it. His god was a strange thing, dark and bloody and protean, elemental and yet subtle in his ways. He must know that he was being sought and chose not to unveil himself yet.
( Chapter Eleven - The Winter KingCollapse )
My story
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Low Man on the Totem Pole
Lost in the Tool Shed is a literary fiction story that is about a young man who is growing up geek. His name is Peter Rabbia and he feels that he has a lot going against him. He is not too good with the ladies, he is "husky" and he loves playing Dungeons and Dragons with his friends and hanging out at the beach. A recent college graduate, Peter is facing a week ahead of him that may very well be life changing; for good or bad. His entire life has been based on him pleasing those around him and doing what was expected of him. However, maybe now is the time for him to take a stand and carve out his own adventure.
I also have a Facebook page that I just started and would love for you to visit:
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James D'Arienzo
Puzzle Piece
But you'd rewrite history so you can sleep tight
A tortured soul, yet he survived
See how tall he stands looking you in the eye
The puzzle piece you made him wear
Through blood and tear, you’d say it fits fine
Even scarlet letters die when you decide
That labels are for petty people
But you find comfort in giving him false names
Go on boy and wear this source of shame
You told him without his name he’d die
Watch him as he breaks the piece to fly
Freedom, truth, is freedom
Freedom, truth, is freedom
Oh how good it feels to stand alone now
The memories you justify
All the times you told him he was dumb and different
A prison in an open mind
Until he’d find that he was never wearing the chains
The puzzle crumbles through your fists
As he persists to climb into the greater glory
Can you admit the experts lied or will you abide
By your lack of understanding
But you find comfort in giving him false names
Like many who wore this source of shame
He learned to resist and to defy
When he saw his limit past the sky
Freedom, truth, is freedom
Freedom, truth, is freedom
Kill the puzzle, see the picture
Freedom, truth, is freedom
Freedom, truth, is freedom
Kill the puzzle, see the human
(no subject)
wigsratings March 5, 2015
Give ♥ a love-letter, let those you love or loved meet again!
>>>>> ♥ ♥ ♥ http://www.ladyidiy.com
♥ Ladyidiy – Animism , Never Settle!
I love playing, but not acting.
I love being pretty, but not the labels of big brands.
You mock ‘I love it’ is the worst reason;
I pity you have only brands, but no fans’s love.
You can despise my “one-second heaven”,
but I will prove this is who “love song era”;
Find myself destine will be a wonderful dating.
“Ladyidiy” brings peace and joy.
Talk to myself and say hello to sunshine.
I want nice time.
Being alone is the best companion.
I will mark this moment forever.
I’m “Ladyidiy”. I only speak for myself!
(no subject)
(no subject)
wigsratings February 28, 2015
Give ♥ a love-letter, let those you love or loved meet again!
>>>>> ♥ ♥ ♥ http://www.ladyidiy.com
♥ Ladyidiy – Animism , Never Settle!
Beautiful ladies in ladyidiy,
after comsumption has a tremendous influence!
Love is successful,
Winning the lottery,
Job promotion,
Income doubled,
Confidence is back,
A burst of luck,
All your wishes come true.
Writing Dump
Genre: Humor, Slice of Life
Rating: G
A/N: From my cat's perspective.
Summary: A scene from the life of a cat.
Title: Fish
Genre: Fantasy, Slice of Life
Rating: G
A/N: Takes place in my original fantasy universe (that's currently untitled), a childhood scene of the two main characters, siblings Welyn and Raewyn Lyons.
Summary: Welyn, a small five year old boy, stood in the stream’s shallow, up to his knees.
Title: Enough
Genre: Fantasy, Drama
Rating: PG-13
A/N: Takes place in the same universe as Fish, with the same siblings, all grown up and in some serious trouble.
Summary: She had gone too far.


cranky
determined