And now a moment you’ve been waiting for: we finally start the Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction FX Down To Mobius that we’ve been talking about the last month. Since we’d been doing host sketches and an unrelated short you have missed nothing if you feel like jumping on board now. The whole of my late-90s Mystery Science Theater 3000 fan fiction based on this should be at this link. After this week’s segment I’ll explain the riffs that seem too obscure to stand unexplained.
[ ALL file into theater ]
> "FX DOWN TO MOBIUS"
TOM: FX Down to Mobius City, where the grass is green and the girls
are pretty.
>
> By G. T. Ettinger III
JOEL: Fanfic writer and international mutual fund portfolio advisor.
>
> Sonic the Hedgehog and all other related characters are copyrighted
> property of Service and Games (SEGA),
JOEL: I didn’t know Sega stood for anything.
CROW: Oh, yeah, like they strongly support oxygen and lemonade and
toothpicks and stuff.
> Archie Comic Publications and/or
> DiC productions.
TOM: We don’t know either.
>
> Note From the Author: I am a new STH FanFic writer and I would like to
> know the opinion of my readers.
CROW: We’ll do our best.
TOM: Mind you, getting to us is a pretty good indicator.
> I’m not sure if I stink or not,
JOEL: I sometimes wonder if Shakespeare ever wondered if he stank.
TOM: He did live three hundred years before soap was popular, Joel.
JOEL: True.
> so
> please E-mail me at e——-@tir.com. Please do not judge my story
CROW: Just give me your opinion on it.
> as dumb and "Non-Sonic" because of the beginning.
TOM: Wait until the end to hate it.
> Sonic will appear
> in this story, but only near the end.
JOEL: And we’ll be giving a prize to the first person who spots him,
so have your note cards ready.
> This story mainly introduces
> a new character.
CROW: Because nobody likes the old characters.
> To other FanFic writers: This story introduces a
> new character
TOM: You know, I’d heard that.
> and, if you ask me, you may use him as you wish in your
> own stories.
CROW: As a teddy bear.
> If you do use him, PLEASE do not, I repeat, do NOT
> change him, kill him or cripple him.
JOEL: Make sure there isn’t a smidgen of character development.
> The Story May Begin:
TOM: Oh, *may* it?
>
> ————————————————————————
>
> Sitting at his comm post, Fred (or "Freddy" as he preferred to be
> called) the Ferret leaned back in his chair with his standard laziness,
> which some could consider "impolite."
CROW: Others would consider it "vermicelli."
> But, he had an excuse for his
> boredom this time,
TOM: Because he read the fanfic ahead of time.
> because Ferretara, his planet,
CROW, TOM: [ Snicker ]
JOEL: Some folks never recover from the ThunderCats.
> had not received a
> single message in months.
CROW: A planet full of people, and not one of them has a friend?
> The recent decrease in comm activity had
> forced him to take a strong dislike to his job.
JOEL: Man, being paid for doing nothing all day is crummy, huh?
> But, better a bad
> job than no job at all, he always said.
CROW: Over and over and over again.
> He was so immersed in his
> daydreaming that he didn’t notice his girlfriend Elizabeth come up
> behind him.
> "How’s the job going?" she asked, causing Freddy to fall off
> his chair.
TOM: Aaaah!
JOEL: Don’t *do* that, Radar!
> "Huh? Oh, yeah, my job…Well, you know, same as usual…" he
> said, slowly trailing off.
TOM: "I have no idea what I’m doing."
> "That bad, eh?" she said, rolling her eyes. Freddy attempted
> to crack a grin, but noticeably failed. Liz’s grin grew even wider,
CROW: Ha-ha!
JOEL: Stuff is funny!
> and wider still as she watched Freddy try and get back into his chair
> while in a dazed state.
TOM: Our hero, ladies and gentlemen.
> "I gave him quite a scare this time….as if
> it wasn’t easy to tell…." she murmured to herself.
CROW: Why?
> Freddy, who had
> finally gotten back into his chair,
JOEL: [ As Freddy ] "I, uh, forgot how to work the chair."
> caught a few of her words and was
> about ask her what she had said, when his comm line beeped.
CROW: [ As Freddy ] "Oh! I had the silly comm thing on ‘mute’!"
TOM: Moot?
CROW: Maybe.
> "A message? Wow. I never dreamt it possible. We haven’t had any
> messages for only TWO MONTHS!!!" Freddy said, annoyed.
TOM: So he’s bored when there’s nothing to do, and now that there’s
something to do, he’s upset about it.
> "Just answer it, you piece of cheese!" Liz quickly snapped.
JOEL: Insults fresh from First Grade to your fanfic.
> "Okay, okay. Geez…if only she were the comm operator…she’d
> be annoyed too, I’d bet. If only….." Freddy replied, twice as annoyed
> as he was at first.
CROW: He’s got something of a temper problem, doesn’t he?
> "Hello? This is Ferretara comm station 303. Calling 205, over."
JOEL: Bingo. Over.
> Said the voice on the other side. Freddy sighed, picked up the mike
> and sent out the reply.
TOM: Okay, how about Petaluma?
> "Comm station 205 here, 303. What’s going on?"
> he asked the other station.
CROW: "Oh, did we call Comm Station 205? We meant to call ‘Com Station
Friendless Loser Ferret Planet.’"
JOEL: You be nice, Crow.
> "We’re detecting meteorite activity in your area! Check your
> scanners!"
JOEL: Watch the skies!
> Sure enough, a strange rock had crashed into the ground
> nearby.
[ To continue … ]
The name Ferretara made me think of ThunderCats home planet Thundera.
“Okay, how about Petaluma?” is a Peanuts reference, from a story where Snoopy, venturing to the Moon, can’t get Houston on the radio and tries the next-best thing.
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