My grandparents were married for 67 years. And my great-grandparents hotly disapproved of the union and did not want my grandfather to marry her.
You see, my grandmother was poor. Beyond poor. Dirt poor. Her parents were both Russian-Lithuanian immigrants. They married in New York and were divorced after producing a large number of children. I’m honestly not sure how many kids there actually were. I know there is a list somewhere. My grandmother loved her father but was taken by her mother in the divorce. They moved to Wilmington Delaware where my great-grandmother remarried at some point and had more children.
My grandmother had to drop out of school early to help support the family. She used the birth certificate of a dead sister to prove that she was old enough to drop out. She took many menial jobs including working as a waitress and housekeeper at the old Chalfont hotel in Atlantic City. She would also tell a story about how a man offered to take pictures of her back in the day. I can’t remember why she didn’t go but from the way she told it, the pictures would have been racy…. For the day at least (for some reason I always think Bettie Page!)
My grandmother met my grandfather while she was living in Atlantic City. They were married when they were both 21 years old. No fancy white dress for her. She got married in a green houndstooth print suit which she later cut up to make dresses for my mom and my aunt (it was war-time!)
My grandmother liked to complain that my grandfather never bought her anything- but that’s because he never had any money! She controlled the purse strings and so how could he buy her something without her knowing? The few things that he did buy her she treasured though. They were never really “well off” but they were happy and comfortable. She was an excellent cook and I’m lucky to have some of her cookbooks. She also made sure her kids had what she did not while growing up. My dad likes to tell a story about how his parents always got him one present for Christmas; his first Christmas with my mom he couldn’t believe all gifts he got from my grandparents! They just kept coming!
Some of my best memories of her are of her braiding my hair. I used to have REALLY long hair and when her fingers were still nimble she’d do all sorts of fancy braids secured by barrettes she wrapped with ribbon. That, and her making us fresh squeezed orange and grapefruit juice from the trees in her yard when they lived in Florida.
Honestly, since he passed away, I think she’s just been waiting for her time to join him. And she did- four years and one day after he was buried.
