okay guys, raya's gonna start posting her concerns now. run away!!
no, seriously though, read this.
i want my stuff back. i know that sounds mean and i really really really really don't mean for it to, i promise. its just..this week is the only week i have to plan my party, because next week and the week after, i'm at gettysburg and can't plan there, cant do anything there really, seeing as the only time i can use electronics is when i'm in my dorm room, and how often is that really gonna be? and then the week of my party i'm working. and my birthday i'm gonna be with veena at the mall just hanging out, and i'm not going to want to do any party planning that day, and then the thirteenth i'll have, but thats the day before my party, so this week is really the only week i have and i dont think anyone really understands that. my mom just started to understand that i dont have very much time to plan this thing, or buy things and get everything ready. Some of the props i'm lending to this movie i might need for my party for decoration or something, and i really need it back. and my costumes, lydia, dear, you have everything. from my garb collection, i have in my closet my black corset, my two long sleeve black and pink poufy sleeved shirts and two black skirts. you have everything else. and i need it back, really. i need to get my costume ready, and i have a certain method of doing that that everyone but myself finds kinda strange. i try on all the costumes i own in different ways, mixing and matching until i find the outfit i'm seeking. i cant do that in my head, i have to be standing infront of a mirror, actually wearing things and able to hold them up together. to do that, i need my costumes back.
i also have a concern about this. i knew from the start of this that i wouldnt have a big role, we all did. i knew i would be busy and not able to be there for everything. but i dont like the fact that i'm providing nearly everything we're using. hell, you have i think two pairs of my pants even, i dont even know, and one of my shirts, for maddie. and you have all my jewelry, oh please be careful with that especially, those are pieces that i myself made and need them to come back to me in one piece without anything broken at all. it takes a while to fix it. anyway, my point is that i feel that i am giving the most to this movie, and yet i am not even at half the shootings/movie meetings, because i'm busy, because i have a lot of things planned for this summer. but i always do a lot in the summer, its nothing new. but i have never gone more than a few days without something of mine with me or in my closet, especially not all my costume garb.
i know you'll all read this and say "oh, raya's being silly and paranoid, she'll get it back" but the thing is, i need it back before the day before my party. i need it back early so i can figure out what i'm doing. yes, i did say you all could borrow it, but i have to admit, i was a bit hesitant at letting lydia take it all with her, because i dont like handing my things over, knowing that i will, eventually get them back, but not knowing when exactly that 'eventually' will be. but i did let you take it lydia, because i did and do trust you, but now i'm a bit concerned. not about the condition of my items, because i know you wont hurt them, but about the fact that i seem to be the only one providing anything for this movie, and dont you say that i'm not the only one, because i have a feeling you will. but what i mean is that i am providing the most and yet i'm rarely with you all when you do these things and i don't know whats going on. i dont know where my things are being taken and when they're being used. i dont know if you're folding them or throwing them into the bag. i dont know about any of that, because i'm not there, when in truth, i should be. they do belong to me, and the corset that you wear, lydia, the burgundy one, was very expensive. about $60 i think, for my birthday, along witht the burgundy skirt i think you have. they were both $60 and therefore are my most valuable pieces, and my most expensive. because all the things you are using are mine, i do have a right to know what is going on with them, and yet i do not. i hear very little of what is going on with this movie and i dont like that.
i'm done now. you can all ignore what you've just read, but you can't ignore the fact that i'm correct about it, or the fact that i do want and need my things back.
by the way, are we getting together at all this week before i go? just wondering.
annoyed
bouncy