oh 😮! you fed me a startleberry !

the gif is even funnier

Full video:

Rly rly good

these days the circus isn't funny and the bread kills you

But it is amazing. It is digital

I was crying throwing up laughing for like an hour nobody believes him

babys dont even say gogo gaga anymore they just bite you and inject you with their babypoison

Its actually babyvenom. Do you know nothing about babies?

hey buddy figured id give you a heads up i found two bigass birds and paid them 10 bucks each to swoop down when you aren't paying attention and grab one of your arms each and pull as hard as they can to rip you in twain midair. so id start investing in ankle weights or something because you're gonna need em

sorry what was that

oh okay

the fact that 8pm is only 3 hours after 5pm is fucking insane. we have to do something about this.

i have a new space ship that burns elfs for fuel

[seeing someone i dont like ans trying to imagine the worst possible punishment based on what id hate the most] hey lets all lick this girl until she starts crying [remembering people jerk off to that] nevermind let's attack her [remembering people jerk off to that] scratch that last thing lets call her mean names instead until she cries [remembering people jerk off to that] okay fuck nevermind scratch that too. lets just tell her shes annoying

(illustration by Harold Speakman)

Walton Goggins is Beef Roger Crummchuk

Walton Goggins is Beef Roger Crummchuk

fuuuuuuck💔💔💔

How the fuck are there unsolved math problems lol like just times it. Use a calacater

this person has so many all timers it’s insane

i really like how the milkman exists as an entirely fossilized character who now serves no purpose other than to fuck people's wives for the punchline

up is one of the most classic ways to be tied. down is also another classic way to be tied. in fact theyre both probably equal for number one. in fact. its a tie

got distracted while reading this cuz i started thinking about being tied UP! yep #pervert

youre the only person whos ever thought this....