I have totally juicy family gossip to share today. Mom swears she told me this when it happened, but I think I would have remembered this. I'm leaving it public for now, since I mentioned it on someone else's journal in comments.
Background: Raymond and I were married at my parents' house (which isn't as weird as it sounds - they have a beautiful house and yard). A ton of people were there from both families. At some point, a bunch of cards were stolen from our gift table, including the gift from Raymond's parents. We didn't realize things were missing until weeks afterward, when Raymond's parents politely hinted about their [monetary] gift, which we didn't even realize existed. We also discovered that money had been taken from my cousin Katie's purse, which had been hidden behind the couch inside the house.
We were not particularly happy about this, more for the emotional damage than the money (although we could have used the money too!). After all, no one expects things to be stolen at their wedding. It's not like strangers could have walked over unnoticed and swiped things. My parents' home insurance actually covered some of the stolen money, though. We have several relatives on each side who are, um, mentally imbalanced, so we had a variety of likely suspects.
A couple of years later Katie and her long-time boyfriend, Bruce, got married in Belize and then had their reception in Hickory so all the family could come. As I'm sure you're expecting by now, things were stolen from her gift table as well. Since we didn't know who'd stolen things at my wedding, Raymond sort of felt obliged to keep an eye on the gift table. I tried to as well, but I was also running around taking photos.
There was some other weirdness at that reception and we thought we knew who'd stolen Katie's gifts (again, a bunch of cards): a guest of a friend of a relative. Got that?
Afterward, though, Raymond confessed to me that he thought he'd seen Aunt Barbara putting something in her purse near the gift table.
Barbara's not really an aunt at all: she's a long-time friend of the family. She and her husband are older, genteel, religious types that know our family from the Mennonite church some of them used to attend. My mother's reasonably close to her, but I never got to know her very well. Although it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that she'd do it, it was totally out of character. Raymond wasn't entirely sure what he'd seen, and was hesitant to bring it up since he knows my family's close to this lady.
A few months later I discussed the whole thing with Katie and we agreed that Barbara was a likely suspect. There wasn't much to be done, though, so we dropped it. I didn't mention it to Mom because Mom's much closer to Barbara than I am and I figured she'd deny Barbara would do such a thing.
So there it sat for a couple more years, until I heard from Mom yesterday. Apparently Barbara was at yet another wedding (not in our extended family, but family friends) and, since word had spread that gift tables were being hit, someone took it upon themselves to watch the table. Sure enough, the guy turned around to see Barbara slipping cards in her purse. They made her open her purse right then and there. Caught red-handed. The wedding where she was caught was at least the fifth wedding she'd stolen things from.
But it gets better! It seems that our family friend isn't stealing because she's a kleptomaniac.
She's stealing because she has a drug problem.
I swear I'm going to write a book one of these days.
Background: Raymond and I were married at my parents' house (which isn't as weird as it sounds - they have a beautiful house and yard). A ton of people were there from both families. At some point, a bunch of cards were stolen from our gift table, including the gift from Raymond's parents. We didn't realize things were missing until weeks afterward, when Raymond's parents politely hinted about their [monetary] gift, which we didn't even realize existed. We also discovered that money had been taken from my cousin Katie's purse, which had been hidden behind the couch inside the house.
We were not particularly happy about this, more for the emotional damage than the money (although we could have used the money too!). After all, no one expects things to be stolen at their wedding. It's not like strangers could have walked over unnoticed and swiped things. My parents' home insurance actually covered some of the stolen money, though. We have several relatives on each side who are, um, mentally imbalanced, so we had a variety of likely suspects.
A couple of years later Katie and her long-time boyfriend, Bruce, got married in Belize and then had their reception in Hickory so all the family could come. As I'm sure you're expecting by now, things were stolen from her gift table as well. Since we didn't know who'd stolen things at my wedding, Raymond sort of felt obliged to keep an eye on the gift table. I tried to as well, but I was also running around taking photos.
There was some other weirdness at that reception and we thought we knew who'd stolen Katie's gifts (again, a bunch of cards): a guest of a friend of a relative. Got that?
Afterward, though, Raymond confessed to me that he thought he'd seen Aunt Barbara putting something in her purse near the gift table.
Barbara's not really an aunt at all: she's a long-time friend of the family. She and her husband are older, genteel, religious types that know our family from the Mennonite church some of them used to attend. My mother's reasonably close to her, but I never got to know her very well. Although it wasn't out of the realm of possibility that she'd do it, it was totally out of character. Raymond wasn't entirely sure what he'd seen, and was hesitant to bring it up since he knows my family's close to this lady.
A few months later I discussed the whole thing with Katie and we agreed that Barbara was a likely suspect. There wasn't much to be done, though, so we dropped it. I didn't mention it to Mom because Mom's much closer to Barbara than I am and I figured she'd deny Barbara would do such a thing.
So there it sat for a couple more years, until I heard from Mom yesterday. Apparently Barbara was at yet another wedding (not in our extended family, but family friends) and, since word had spread that gift tables were being hit, someone took it upon themselves to watch the table. Sure enough, the guy turned around to see Barbara slipping cards in her purse. They made her open her purse right then and there. Caught red-handed. The wedding where she was caught was at least the fifth wedding she'd stolen things from.
But it gets better! It seems that our family friend isn't stealing because she's a kleptomaniac.
She's stealing because she has a drug problem.
I swear I'm going to write a book one of these days.
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