July 2003
Hard to believe that was almost 6 years ago, I started writing this beast. Onward to more archiving!
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Ch Ch Ch Ch aaaaanges!!!
As I write this, my Firefox says the temperature is -10 degrees, and the windchill is like -40. I hate winter. When I was playing Nintendo with Rob today, we froze a cup of water in 2 hours outside.
The cold weather has put me in quite a funk. I've been pretty depressed about how my career has hit a standstill like so many others I know. I do have some Ogilvy events to keep me afloat for awhile, but I'm not quite sure how I will pay the bills after that. My neighbor has put me in touch to a few recruiters which I've been talking to and hoping something comes along soon. I'm pretty hopeful SOMETHING has to come out of it right? In the meantime, Danielle and I have been tossing around ideas on starting an event planning business and I've been helping Kyle advance Black Book Press. I think we've got a pretty legit shot at making a name for ourselves, it's just going to take time to get it going. Especially to the point that Kyle can support himself with it. I hope he does though, because it would be pretty great to make that my career at some point.
As for other things in my life, Danielle and I are pretty close to deciding which apartment to live in. We currently have a one bedroom on hold in Naperville. It's a nice complex and parking is very easy, we're both pretty worried that a one bedroom will be too small for our needs though. So we've been searching for 2 bedrooms with some more space. I found one in Warrenville, but we're about 50/50 on whether or not it's a dump. The price is right though. $795 for a 2 BR. I also found a 2 BR in Naperville for $845. Since we've spent 2 days a week with each other for a year and a half, it might be a shock to our relationship at first to go to everyday, so a two bedroom may provide us with some space. On Monday, we plan to check out the final spaces and make a decision fairly soon.
Other than that. I've gotten really good at NHL 2008 and laying around and being lazy has become an artform for me. I need a job. HELP!
The cold weather has put me in quite a funk. I've been pretty depressed about how my career has hit a standstill like so many others I know. I do have some Ogilvy events to keep me afloat for awhile, but I'm not quite sure how I will pay the bills after that. My neighbor has put me in touch to a few recruiters which I've been talking to and hoping something comes along soon. I'm pretty hopeful SOMETHING has to come out of it right? In the meantime, Danielle and I have been tossing around ideas on starting an event planning business and I've been helping Kyle advance Black Book Press. I think we've got a pretty legit shot at making a name for ourselves, it's just going to take time to get it going. Especially to the point that Kyle can support himself with it. I hope he does though, because it would be pretty great to make that my career at some point.
As for other things in my life, Danielle and I are pretty close to deciding which apartment to live in. We currently have a one bedroom on hold in Naperville. It's a nice complex and parking is very easy, we're both pretty worried that a one bedroom will be too small for our needs though. So we've been searching for 2 bedrooms with some more space. I found one in Warrenville, but we're about 50/50 on whether or not it's a dump. The price is right though. $795 for a 2 BR. I also found a 2 BR in Naperville for $845. Since we've spent 2 days a week with each other for a year and a half, it might be a shock to our relationship at first to go to everyday, so a two bedroom may provide us with some space. On Monday, we plan to check out the final spaces and make a decision fairly soon.
Other than that. I've gotten really good at NHL 2008 and laying around and being lazy has become an artform for me. I need a job. HELP!
Last updated 45 weeks ago....
You know I never got around to that retrospective of mine. So I decided to get back to it. I plan to write another entry about what's been going on soon. Because it's a lot. Too much to comprehend sometimes.
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May 2003 update
May 2003 was almost five years ago. I still can't believe it.
So school was ending for my first year at SIU. I had learned a lot, met some great people, and was starting to find myself.
My first entry deals with the breakup of the mighty Pantera. It's strange how prophetic, the entry turned out to be. How Phil was all about himself and how he blamed Pantera for not letting him be creative enough and how the drugs led him to say things that may have ultimately led to the murder of Dimebag. I was pretty pissed when I wrote it too. I miss Pantera. I also miss Damageplan.
The next entry was about my return home from school and how my family life was less than perfect. I still had a lot of friction with my mom and I knew I resented my parents and blamed them somewhat for my tough life in high school. I know I struggle with having them shed their perception of how I was to how I am now and I feel like that's where a lot came from frustration wise. Not having them see how much life had changed and how excited I was.
So I guess my mom came and was really negative about everything and I got really upset that what I called home and all I built was for shit in her eyes, something that's pretty hard to hear, so it really upset to the point I got chest pains. I guess I felt then I didn't have a home at home, when now I know I do. I was really bitter back then and I'm, glad I've mellowed out a lot. I can see how I was hard to be around when I was so negative and frustrated all the time.
The last entry talks about how my parents were inconveinenced by my internship at Heavy Hitter Inc and I was frustrated by it. At the time I felt like that was my calling and to a certain extent it still is, but in a sense, I've foudn experiential marketing because it's always new and changing, and I can be creative with it, where the music industry is crumbling and it works you like a dog. Sure it's a rockstar life, but that's not really my scene. It's amazing how things change in five years.
So school was ending for my first year at SIU. I had learned a lot, met some great people, and was starting to find myself.
My first entry deals with the breakup of the mighty Pantera. It's strange how prophetic, the entry turned out to be. How Phil was all about himself and how he blamed Pantera for not letting him be creative enough and how the drugs led him to say things that may have ultimately led to the murder of Dimebag. I was pretty pissed when I wrote it too. I miss Pantera. I also miss Damageplan.
The next entry was about my return home from school and how my family life was less than perfect. I still had a lot of friction with my mom and I knew I resented my parents and blamed them somewhat for my tough life in high school. I know I struggle with having them shed their perception of how I was to how I am now and I feel like that's where a lot came from frustration wise. Not having them see how much life had changed and how excited I was.
So I guess my mom came and was really negative about everything and I got really upset that what I called home and all I built was for shit in her eyes, something that's pretty hard to hear, so it really upset to the point I got chest pains. I guess I felt then I didn't have a home at home, when now I know I do. I was really bitter back then and I'm, glad I've mellowed out a lot. I can see how I was hard to be around when I was so negative and frustrated all the time.
The last entry talks about how my parents were inconveinenced by my internship at Heavy Hitter Inc and I was frustrated by it. At the time I felt like that was my calling and to a certain extent it still is, but in a sense, I've foudn experiential marketing because it's always new and changing, and I can be creative with it, where the music industry is crumbling and it works you like a dog. Sure it's a rockstar life, but that's not really my scene. It's amazing how things change in five years.
MONSTER TRUCKS recap
I must say that Saturday was quite the magical day and one of the best in my life.
It started with Danielle coming by and us going to Big Bowl in Schaumburg. Big Bowl is a chinese and thai place where you can make your own stir fry meal. She had shrimp and rice and I had noodles and salmon, it was very delicious. To drink I had passion fruit flavored ginger ale. I'd suggest the place to anyone. We hadn't had a meal together in such a long time, it was nice to go out and go on a real date.
Then when we got home, John, Amanda and Ryan came by to hit up monster trucks. When we got there, it had sold out. But they released more expensive tickets and we all paid the 32 bucks a piece and checked it out. The other people who came out were Scott, Steve, Dez, her brother Phil and their friend Jen. We all dressed up like white trash. It was hysterical.
The wheelie competition was won by Gravedigger, but racing was taken by Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong was Donkey's head complete with tie. Freestyle was won hands down by Gravedigger with an amazing save where Digger, tried to climb an 80 degree angle from the motocross hill. Gravedigger was vertical and started to tip over, when the driver walked it backwards and landed on all fours. It was amazing. Also impressive where the freestyle motocrosser and quads. The motorcyclist, did a full flip with no hands on the handlebars followed by a full flip from the quad. I heard Danielle yell, "HOLY SHIT!"
A great time was had by all and I'm glad, my silly obsession is shared with more people including Danielle. I feel like I can share most anything with her and its great.
In the intermission, she exclaimed, "Let's go to Bullriding!" Fucking awesome.
My mom said today how good of a match she is for me. I'm glad she finally realized it. With Mimma, she could take care of me and treat me well, but she didn't let me be myself and there really isn't really enough of a personality for me to enjoy. Danielle and I love doing anything together and we're never bored doing nothing. We're happy just to be around each other and I think there's something to be said for that.
I can't wait for more adventures with her.
It started with Danielle coming by and us going to Big Bowl in Schaumburg. Big Bowl is a chinese and thai place where you can make your own stir fry meal. She had shrimp and rice and I had noodles and salmon, it was very delicious. To drink I had passion fruit flavored ginger ale. I'd suggest the place to anyone. We hadn't had a meal together in such a long time, it was nice to go out and go on a real date.
Then when we got home, John, Amanda and Ryan came by to hit up monster trucks. When we got there, it had sold out. But they released more expensive tickets and we all paid the 32 bucks a piece and checked it out. The other people who came out were Scott, Steve, Dez, her brother Phil and their friend Jen. We all dressed up like white trash. It was hysterical.
The wheelie competition was won by Gravedigger, but racing was taken by Donkey Kong. Donkey Kong was Donkey's head complete with tie. Freestyle was won hands down by Gravedigger with an amazing save where Digger, tried to climb an 80 degree angle from the motocross hill. Gravedigger was vertical and started to tip over, when the driver walked it backwards and landed on all fours. It was amazing. Also impressive where the freestyle motocrosser and quads. The motorcyclist, did a full flip with no hands on the handlebars followed by a full flip from the quad. I heard Danielle yell, "HOLY SHIT!"
A great time was had by all and I'm glad, my silly obsession is shared with more people including Danielle. I feel like I can share most anything with her and its great.
In the intermission, she exclaimed, "Let's go to Bullriding!" Fucking awesome.
My mom said today how good of a match she is for me. I'm glad she finally realized it. With Mimma, she could take care of me and treat me well, but she didn't let me be myself and there really isn't really enough of a personality for me to enjoy. Danielle and I love doing anything together and we're never bored doing nothing. We're happy just to be around each other and I think there's something to be said for that.
I can't wait for more adventures with her.
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I must say I'm quite excited for the next few hours.
Can't quite beat a day that goes like this:
*Job training for marketing agency work.
*Celebration of Valentine's Day with Danielle.
******MONSTER TRUCKS!!!
Line of the day:
Me: "I heard on the radio this morning that Woody Harrelson is a better basketball player than Wesley Snipes was."
Phil: "Wesley Snipes doesn't pay his taxes."
Can't quite beat a day that goes like this:
*Job training for marketing agency work.
*Celebration of Valentine's Day with Danielle.
******MONSTER TRUCKS!!!
Line of the day:
Me: "I heard on the radio this morning that Woody Harrelson is a better basketball player than Wesley Snipes was."
Phil: "Wesley Snipes doesn't pay his taxes."
April 2003 recap
So as promised here is my update from my past writings. I'm excited to read these and see where I've been. We start in April 2003 when my journal was started. My mom confessed to me that my senior of high school which was spent writing a lot of hateful entries towards my life in my real jounal and getting shit on by a lot of people, I deemed "friends," that she was scared of how I might lash out because of Columbine or whatever.
I think that's pretty extreme, but I can see where she's coming from. I was pretty bitter back in the day and it shows. In 2003, I was in my first year of college and started to figure out who I was.
I started the journal on April 17th, 2003 to be exact and I was excited for the future brought and the things I was going to learn. I also sucked at writing, but I think my original voice and humor starts to bleed through as time goes on.
That same day was WIDB's 33rd Anniversary Show.It was a cold day, but I remember the show pretty vividly and the next day I guess I got to make out pretty hardcore with a girl who had a crush on me from the third floor who moved away. For a guy who hadn't kissed a girl until a few months earlier, it was a big step to grab some boobs and get some excitement in that department.
I think that was the start of my being open minded trait to my personality I have now. I think doing something pretty impulsive was good for me that day, it let me know that taking control for my life wasn't so scary after all and I ran with that throughout my life at SIU. Learning and trying all I could and having some great experiences to go with them.
Next time it'll be by May 2003 update.
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I started this journal entry a couple of days ago, but in light of the NIU shooting, I must get some thoughts across. This event hits close to home as my cousin, friends and my girlfriend went there and are still connected with people there. For some guy to go into a lecture hall and blast 20 people and kill 5 with a shotgun, then kill himself, is an unthinkable and horrifying act. Danielle's best friend's sister's friend got shot I guess. Details forthcoming.
My mom called me today to tell me and she thinks NIU needs to get metal detectors. But as the police chief says, you can't prevent something like this, all you can do is improve response. My mom takes the easy way out and blames video games and music.
I think the real culprit is a couple of things.
1. We all need to treat each other with some more respect and kindness. Ostracizing people for being different or weird needs to stop. A lot of these people go crazy and snap because they're being picked on for one reason or another. I'm not condoning their actions, but being a victim of such abuse in my past myself, I can identify to some extent. If people quit being shitheads to each other, maybe things like this wouldn't happen so much.
2. Start disciplining your kids people. In the 60's and 70's people respected their elders and to some extent were afraid of them. I know I was afraid of just making my dad mad. Although ruling by fear is not the best course of action, if people who did these terrible things knew their was some real consequences, or had parents that taught them how to treat other people and gave them attention when growing up, things like this may decrease.
It's really not the music or the games. Yes, games are more violent and music carries darker themes. But don't forget Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd were pretty dark and out there but things like that didn't happen then. Creative expression for music should not be attacked. It cuts on freedom of speech and if you don't want your kids listening to them, don't let them. Don't let your kids play those video games either. You can't blame something people have control over. People shouldn't take these mediums as the be all end all either. In the 80's metal bands were put on trial for suicides and murders and each time they were acquitted, because it's not the music's fault for the act, it's the person doing it.
Our cuddly, politically correct society needs to get a grip and stop blaming words, video games, atheism, pornography, etc for all our problems. We need to all own up that coporations selling out their customers for the almighty dollar, lack of respect for our fellow man, bombing of other countries for oil and overall this me first attitude everyone has is ruining my generation and we all need to wake up and take responsibility and make a change. Until we do that, things will keep at their violent and scary place.
My mom called me today to tell me and she thinks NIU needs to get metal detectors. But as the police chief says, you can't prevent something like this, all you can do is improve response. My mom takes the easy way out and blames video games and music.
I think the real culprit is a couple of things.
1. We all need to treat each other with some more respect and kindness. Ostracizing people for being different or weird needs to stop. A lot of these people go crazy and snap because they're being picked on for one reason or another. I'm not condoning their actions, but being a victim of such abuse in my past myself, I can identify to some extent. If people quit being shitheads to each other, maybe things like this wouldn't happen so much.
2. Start disciplining your kids people. In the 60's and 70's people respected their elders and to some extent were afraid of them. I know I was afraid of just making my dad mad. Although ruling by fear is not the best course of action, if people who did these terrible things knew their was some real consequences, or had parents that taught them how to treat other people and gave them attention when growing up, things like this may decrease.
It's really not the music or the games. Yes, games are more violent and music carries darker themes. But don't forget Black Sabbath and Pink Floyd were pretty dark and out there but things like that didn't happen then. Creative expression for music should not be attacked. It cuts on freedom of speech and if you don't want your kids listening to them, don't let them. Don't let your kids play those video games either. You can't blame something people have control over. People shouldn't take these mediums as the be all end all either. In the 80's metal bands were put on trial for suicides and murders and each time they were acquitted, because it's not the music's fault for the act, it's the person doing it.
Our cuddly, politically correct society needs to get a grip and stop blaming words, video games, atheism, pornography, etc for all our problems. We need to all own up that coporations selling out their customers for the almighty dollar, lack of respect for our fellow man, bombing of other countries for oil and overall this me first attitude everyone has is ruining my generation and we all need to wake up and take responsibility and make a change. Until we do that, things will keep at their violent and scary place.
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So I guess I started writing in an online journal starting in April of 2003. That was in my first year of college. I intend to read all my entries in a month and kind of recap where I've been and what I've learned. Five years. Wow. Stay tuned for what I've learned.
In current news, I got the Ogivily job and I train on Saturday. Once I know more about what it is, I will detail it here. Saturday is also V-Day celebration with Danielle and MONSTER TRUCKS with everyone else. I've got about nine people going and its white trash attire. It should be a blast.
I cleaned up my room. All I need to do is sweep and move the dresser out and I can start rearranging. I'm excited. Bathroom must be cleaned too. I still need a full time job, but I'm more hopeful than I have been. But it's apparent, that Benchmark is not my life's work. I bought What Color Is Your Parachute? So I hope it gives me some good ideas on how to approach the job situation.
Valentine's Day was today and I delivered a lilac rose (Danielle's favorite), mix CD of love songs and a massage therapy gift certificate for my lady. She loved it. I think she's changing her mind on Valentine's Day.
I went to Burger King and scored a kid's meal with Maximum Destruction in it. Time to get me a Gravedigger and an Avenger.
In current news, I got the Ogivily job and I train on Saturday. Once I know more about what it is, I will detail it here. Saturday is also V-Day celebration with Danielle and MONSTER TRUCKS with everyone else. I've got about nine people going and its white trash attire. It should be a blast.
I cleaned up my room. All I need to do is sweep and move the dresser out and I can start rearranging. I'm excited. Bathroom must be cleaned too. I still need a full time job, but I'm more hopeful than I have been. But it's apparent, that Benchmark is not my life's work. I bought What Color Is Your Parachute? So I hope it gives me some good ideas on how to approach the job situation.
Valentine's Day was today and I delivered a lilac rose (Danielle's favorite), mix CD of love songs and a massage therapy gift certificate for my lady. She loved it. I think she's changing her mind on Valentine's Day.
I went to Burger King and scored a kid's meal with Maximum Destruction in it. Time to get me a Gravedigger and an Avenger.
Taste of the future...
Today I spent the day with Danielle and we got a lot done. She went with me to get my oil changed, go to the cleaners and pick up some stuff at Target. I restocked by bathroom with some soap, mouthwash, toothpaste, slippers, bodywash and sponges. Then she helped me get all the clothes out of my dresser and into my closet.
I have this plan to get more organized and although its going pretty slowly, it's going in baby steps. I transferred all my clothes to my closet in order to ditch my dresser. I will put my computer desk in its place and put a tv stand where my desk is. Then I can move the Playstation into my room and free up our communal TV for the living room and make our house a little more people friendly, so people don't feel like they have to go to their rooms to watch TV.
After stuff was finished, we laid in bed for a while and I basically told her I think she's the one for me. Because I think she is. I miss her a lot when we don't see each other and I can't wait for the time I don't have to wait days on end to see her. We plan to move in together when my lease is up in 09. That way we both have time to save up and rent a real nice place. I think she's pretty happy with what I told her and I'm glad she is. She pretty much agreed with what I said.
I'm glad I've finally found one for me and I think she likes monster trucks! hahahaha.
Time for bed. The girl wore me out today.