oh my god it was me

this is the very first ever documented use of smoll. you’re all a witness to language history here.

the damage you have done to society

my final paper for my CS degree was literally "how can we algorithmically optimise for the fastest possible circumnavigation route on commercial flights?", which incidentally required me to adopt a very good working knowledge of what flight options are available at what times (and also led to me accidentally memorising several hundred airport codes)

incidentally the fastest possible route seems to be about 51 hours, if you're working from 2022 schedules like i was. if you use current schedules and are very optimistic about how quickly you can transfer between flights, you can maybe get it down to around 48 hours (also known as 25 millivernes).

The very best thing about tumblr is that you can make a post about a 154-year-old novel and get responses like this.

Higgledy piggledy,
midway through life, I did
find myself pilgrim-like
lost in a wood

so bitter and dark that I
can't say how, sleepily,
I ceased to follow the
path that I should.

The fearful night ending, I
saw the sun painting a
mountain on whose top I
now longed to rise.

But as I climbed higher in
that new spring twilight
a dreadful new danger
appeared to my eyes:

A spotted-pelt leopard, a
skeletal she-wolf, a
lion whose anger
made quiver the air.

These three beasts in concert,
symbolically hideous, were
pushing me back in the
woods of despair.

Deeper and deeper,
beset by the monsters
(above all the she-wolf), in
terror I ran.

A silent, lone figure
appearing, I pleaded: "Have
mercy on me, whether you
be shade or man!"

"No man", he responded, "I
was, though; a poet, a
Lombard, a pagan, and
I sang of Troy.

But why do you linger in
terror and darkness, when
you could be climbing the
mountain of joy?"

"Virgil", I stammered, "o
master of poets, o
source of my fortune, are
you truly here?

See here the monster from
which I sought shelter, and
help me, my teacher,
escape from this fear".

"Not there", after pond'ring said
he, "for the she-wolf's not
ours to defeat, but a
Hunter's to come.

Another path follow, much
longer and deeper, on
which I shall lead you,
or else you'll succumb.

I'll take you to study the
damned and the weeping, who've
nothing to hope for, but
secondly die.

Then you will witness all
those who burn gladly, for
purging they ready them-
selves for the sky.

If you'd see the blessed too, a
spirit far worthier than
this unbeliever will
not lead you astray".

"Master", I told him, "from
this and worse evils I'll
trust you to lead me; let's
go now, I pray".

Then through the deep woods he
moved, and I followed; he
first, and I second, we
were on the way.

(Inferno, canto I)

This is awesome. What a work of collation.

Leang Leang, Indonesia (Sulawesi), ca. 50,000 BCE

Cosquer, France, ca. 25,000 BCE (pic source)

Cueva de los Manos, Argentina, ca. 7000 BCE

Groenfontein, South Africa, ca. 2000 BCE (pic source)

Awunbarna, Australia, before 1 BCE? (can't find an actual date) (pic source)

Canyon de Chelly, USA, ca. 1000 CE (pic source)

Chhatibahar, India, recent (pic source)

This is a regular part of the display! Self-preening quickly at the base of the wings, in a way that looks nervous or habitual rather than done for any effect on the feathers, is common to see in many pigeons while showing off; it wasn't just that fellow lacking suavity.

And if the courtship prospers it's done more frequently; I've seen many pigeon pairs billing vigorously, walking round each other in little circles, with the presumptive male stopping every few seconds to preen at the base of his wings thus, often while the other one tries to stick her beak inside his impatiently ("Stop fussing with your suit and kiss me"). They sometimes even delay sex to do it, which seems counterproductive, while the other bird is crouching down inviting them, and may change her mind at any second. I think of it as something like a human nervously smoothing their hair before asking someone out. I believe it's what's called displacement activity - nervous tension or conflicting impulses spilling out in useless but safe habitual actions.

I found this at Ethogram of the Pigeon – Great Lakes Pigeon Rescue:

“G: Displacement preening or ritual preening

In the usual form of this movement, the bird turns its head, thrusts its bill between body and scapulars, and quickly withdraws it. It is given by the male in situations where he is sexually aroused but unable to copulate or commence the pre-copulatory billing either because the female is not yet giving the appropriate signals or because of his own apparent incapacity. That the same gesture is used in these apparently different situations suggests that it is being used whenever an impulse to bill or to copulate is being frustrated but no other positive tendencies – such as to flee or to attack – are present. It also corroborates Whitman’s (1919) opinion that this act provides auto-erotic stimulation as well as serving as a signal to the mate. It is also an integral part of the ceremony of offering to bill, which male performs before proffering his open mouth to the female.

The female does not usually displacement preen so much as the male. This is because she reacts to sexual unreadiness on her mate’s part by more intense soliciting of billing or coition, by “switching over” to allo-preening him or, if the male crouches and invites her, by mounting him instead. She will, however, displacement preen freely and often if thwarted in her sexual desire and unable to find outlet in the alternatives usually shown. Thus a hen Pigeon who considers herself paired to a human being will displacement preen as much as or more than a cock usually does.”

This is a regular part of the display! Self-preening quickly at the base of the wings, in a way that looks nervous or habitual rather than done for any effect on the feathers, is common to see in many pigeons while showing off; it wasn’t just that fellow lacking suavity.

And if the courtship prospers it’s done more frequently; I’ve seen many pigeon pairs billing vigorously, walking round each other in little circles, with the presumptive male stopping every few seconds to preen at the base of his wings thus, often while the other one tries to stick her beak inside his impatiently (“Stop fussing with your suit and kiss me”). They sometimes even delay sex to do it, which seems counterproductive, while the other bird is crouching down inviting them, and may change her mind at any second. I think of it as something like a human nervously smoothing their hair before asking someone out. I believe it’s what’s called displacement activity - nervous tension or conflicting impulses spilling out in useless but safe habitual actions.