Calgon, Take Me Away!

Hi, new to the community... I just needed somewhere to vent because I'm beginning to hate the very idea of my own wedding.

I know that I am not unique. I know that each and every of my wedding woes have been suffered through by countless other wedding victims.

Knowing this does not make my woes any less woeful. Nor does it decrease the amount that they upset me, no matter how unoriginal they are.

It started with him wanting his young cousins in the wedding as flower girl and ring bearer. They have been undisciplined brats 90% of the time I've had contact with them, so needless to say I was not thrilled about the idea. We went back and forth about it and even though I really truly did NOT want them in the wedding, I kept telling him that I would leave the decision up to him. He said no he didn't want them - even going as far as to tell his mother that we weren't having them in the wedding. She immediately got extremely upset about this and then we were back to the whole "If you really want this..." stuff. Eventually we decided that this was what he wanted and they would be in the wedding. He has 6 cousins total. 3 that are siblings, and then 2 that are siblings. I told him we would have to find something for the 3rd sibling to do in the wedding because her brother and sister were in it and she was of an age that would feel left out. At the time we discussed that I specifically asked him if he thought his other 2 cousins would feel left out too. He said no.


To make a long story short, a month later it turns out that at least one of the other cousins IS upset that she wasn't asked to be in the wedding. We have plenty of time until the wedding (8 entire months!) so here's what has me upset: One, I was told by him that we didn't have to worry about the other 2 cousins. Two, I firmly believe this is because the other cousins are in the wedding, a situation I didn't even want. Three, it is a totally foreign concept to me to be upset or insulted that I am not asked to be in a COUSIN'S wedding and I am very close with my cousins. Four, we have plenty of time to rethink things and put her somewhere in the wedding, like doing a reading or something but what the heck, I am not about to put someone in my wedding that we weren't intending to put in the wedding just because their freaking feelings are hurt for what I don't consider a valid reason.

At every decision for this wedding I have been faced with skepticism from his mother - from her being upset that I wanted to make my own beaded bouquets instead of having her do flower bouquets, to her telling me "well his grandmother will be making one then" when I told her that there wasn't going to be a traditional grooms cake. Every time she asks "so what are you doing for..." I am afraid to answer her. I have been given one hell of a guilt trip because I didn't want his nightmare kid cousins to ruin our wedding by being the brats that he admits they are - not to mention having his aunt ask if she can buy a flower girl dress for her daughter BEFORE I'd even picked out my own dress or even ASKED her to be in the wedding... and now -I- am somehow the bad, horrible, selfish one because I'm a little irritated about this new development.

You know, I expected more grief from my own family because we're having the wedding 12 hours from my nearest family member but I haven't gotten any. So why am I catching so much grief from people that are at least going to be able to ATTEND the wedding, unlike most of my family?

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Wedding Dreams For Christmas
Hello Readers,

Christmas is the time of the year for giving.

I need some help this year. I have asked my girlfriend to Marry Me. She is so happy and excited. I want to give her the world. Christmas this year will be dull compared to most.

I had some surgery on Wednesday and now unable to work. My Future Wife is on medical leave of absence since having an allergic reaction to an unknown substance on vacation in September. She has Chronic Urticaria.I have gone 6-7 times to the Emergency Room and after many trips to the Doctor there is not yet a reason.

I have given the world to my Future Wife but now will not be able to give her what she wants for xmas.

She has asked me for a Coach Bag. I want to give her this but I do not have the money.

I am asking for any donation big or small to make her dreams come true.


Thank you.

And to those that give, I have a special place in my heart for you.


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A casual friend of mine is getting married, and I was invited to be a bridesmaid in the ceremony. A month or so later, we got into a large disagreement, and mutually agreed that it would be best if I just attended the wedding, rather than being in it, (the disagreement was unrelated to the wedding itself).

Over the next few months, I never saw my 'friend', even though we lived in the same apartment complex, less than 20 yards away. I didn't get a phone call or a 'hi, how are you?', nothing, and during that time, some significant changes happened in my life, including almost losing someone very dear to me. Throughout these few months, I never heard a word from said friend, so when the wedding invitation came in the mail, I asked my husband if he thought we should attend. He says he doesn't wish to attend as he feels we are more like strangers at this point, and I would agree. Even though I know (from planning my own wedding) that it's a huge ordeal and very stressful and a very busy time, I am insulted that I have not received a call or note or anything in three months.

My question is, is it inappropriate for me to respectfully decline the invitation? I wouldn't attend the wedding of a total stranger, and I would very much not feel comfortable attending, however, this 'friend' tends to be hot-tempered and I know she will not understand why we're not coming, and will take it as a personal insult, even though that is not how it is meant..

I don't feel, after all that's happened, that I would want to rekindle the friendship, so I don't see the point in attending. I am also very hurt that I was so disposable a person that she could go months without a word to me, and then expect me to celebrate with her. Help :(

I hate the best man in my wedding.

First - Congratulations to everyone getting married!

Second - immediately after getting married, I had my gown sealed in a vault box...well, I've since gotten divorced (don't worry - it's a good thing!) and I'm sure as heck not going to wear the same dress if I get married again. So I have a $1200 wedding dress (been worn only once lol) sitting in a box (that it cost $200 to put it in) in the closet.

So I want to know where I might sell it if anyone knows. Has anyone here bought their dress used? If so, where? - so I can see if I can sell mine there. Any advice on this would be appreciated. I can't just throw it out but I want more than the $50 they are going for on eBay.

Do thrift stores do this sort of thing? I don't know anything about any of this and any help would be great.

On a similar note - I also want to sell the engagement ring - who buys fine jewelry? A pawn shop wanted to only give me $100 for a $1000 ring...I'm not that desperate yet. :) Anyone have any ideas on that?

Thanks for reading and any and all advice would be awesome! :)

BTW - I am not trying to make money here - I genuinely have questions and can't seem to find any answers. I thought that all of you who are currently immersed in wedding planning might have more information on this than I do. :)

X-Posted as I really want this big 'ole box out of my closet...soon. Ack!

Hey guys!

I am new to this community, engaged, and have a women's podcast.

I did a piece on my whole wedding planning experience and thought some of you might get a kick out of it!

Check it out!

http://tagintheseam.com

Thanks!

I've made a new community for people getting married in Australia. It's called </a></strong></a>aussiebrides. I'm really sorry if you get this a couple of times - I'm cross-posting quite a bit. Thanks.

I'm just getting started with the wedding planning. Are you basically going to be charged more at any reception site if you marry on a Saturday? From what I've heard from other brides, wedding reception sites are notorious for upping the prices for Saturday weddings. Is there any way to get married on a Saturday and have a nice reception without having to pay more just because of the date of the week? Or is that just the price you have to pay for getting married on the most popular wedding date?