Why I hate weddings...
Hi, new to the community... I just needed somewhere to vent because I'm beginning to hate the very idea of my own wedding.
I know that I am not unique. I know that each and every of my wedding woes have been suffered through by countless other wedding victims.
Knowing this does not make my woes any less woeful. Nor does it decrease the amount that they upset me, no matter how unoriginal they are.
It started with him wanting his young cousins in the wedding as flower girl and ring bearer. They have been undisciplined brats 90% of the time I've had contact with them, so needless to say I was not thrilled about the idea. We went back and forth about it and even though I really truly did NOT want them in the wedding, I kept telling him that I would leave the decision up to him. He said no he didn't want them - even going as far as to tell his mother that we weren't having them in the wedding. She immediately got extremely upset about this and then we were back to the whole "If you really want this..." stuff. Eventually we decided that this was what he wanted and they would be in the wedding. He has 6 cousins total. 3 that are siblings, and then 2 that are siblings. I told him we would have to find something for the 3rd sibling to do in the wedding because her brother and sister were in it and she was of an age that would feel left out. At the time we discussed that I specifically asked him if he thought his other 2 cousins would feel left out too. He said no.
To make a long story short, a month later it turns out that at least one of the other cousins IS upset that she wasn't asked to be in the wedding. We have plenty of time until the wedding (8 entire months!) so here's what has me upset: One, I was told by him that we didn't have to worry about the other 2 cousins. Two, I firmly believe this is because the other cousins are in the wedding, a situation I didn't even want. Three, it is a totally foreign concept to me to be upset or insulted that I am not asked to be in a COUSIN'S wedding and I am very close with my cousins. Four, we have plenty of time to rethink things and put her somewhere in the wedding, like doing a reading or something but what the heck, I am not about to put someone in my wedding that we weren't intending to put in the wedding just because their freaking feelings are hurt for what I don't consider a valid reason.
At every decision for this wedding I have been faced with skepticism from his mother - from her being upset that I wanted to make my own beaded bouquets instead of having her do flower bouquets, to her telling me "well his grandmother will be making one then" when I told her that there wasn't going to be a traditional grooms cake. Every time she asks "so what are you doing for..." I am afraid to answer her. I have been given one hell of a guilt trip because I didn't want his nightmare kid cousins to ruin our wedding by being the brats that he admits they are - not to mention having his aunt ask if she can buy a flower girl dress for her daughter BEFORE I'd even picked out my own dress or even ASKED her to be in the wedding... and now -I- am somehow the bad, horrible, selfish one because I'm a little irritated about this new development.
You know, I expected more grief from my own family because we're having the wedding 12 hours from my nearest family member but I haven't gotten any. So why am I catching so much grief from people that are at least going to be able to ATTEND the wedding, unlike most of my family?
I know that I am not unique. I know that each and every of my wedding woes have been suffered through by countless other wedding victims.
Knowing this does not make my woes any less woeful. Nor does it decrease the amount that they upset me, no matter how unoriginal they are.
It started with him wanting his young cousins in the wedding as flower girl and ring bearer. They have been undisciplined brats 90% of the time I've had contact with them, so needless to say I was not thrilled about the idea. We went back and forth about it and even though I really truly did NOT want them in the wedding, I kept telling him that I would leave the decision up to him. He said no he didn't want them - even going as far as to tell his mother that we weren't having them in the wedding. She immediately got extremely upset about this and then we were back to the whole "If you really want this..." stuff. Eventually we decided that this was what he wanted and they would be in the wedding. He has 6 cousins total. 3 that are siblings, and then 2 that are siblings. I told him we would have to find something for the 3rd sibling to do in the wedding because her brother and sister were in it and she was of an age that would feel left out. At the time we discussed that I specifically asked him if he thought his other 2 cousins would feel left out too. He said no.
To make a long story short, a month later it turns out that at least one of the other cousins IS upset that she wasn't asked to be in the wedding. We have plenty of time until the wedding (8 entire months!) so here's what has me upset: One, I was told by him that we didn't have to worry about the other 2 cousins. Two, I firmly believe this is because the other cousins are in the wedding, a situation I didn't even want. Three, it is a totally foreign concept to me to be upset or insulted that I am not asked to be in a COUSIN'S wedding and I am very close with my cousins. Four, we have plenty of time to rethink things and put her somewhere in the wedding, like doing a reading or something but what the heck, I am not about to put someone in my wedding that we weren't intending to put in the wedding just because their freaking feelings are hurt for what I don't consider a valid reason.
At every decision for this wedding I have been faced with skepticism from his mother - from her being upset that I wanted to make my own beaded bouquets instead of having her do flower bouquets, to her telling me "well his grandmother will be making one then" when I told her that there wasn't going to be a traditional grooms cake. Every time she asks "so what are you doing for..." I am afraid to answer her. I have been given one hell of a guilt trip because I didn't want his nightmare kid cousins to ruin our wedding by being the brats that he admits they are - not to mention having his aunt ask if she can buy a flower girl dress for her daughter BEFORE I'd even picked out my own dress or even ASKED her to be in the wedding... and now -I- am somehow the bad, horrible, selfish one because I'm a little irritated about this new development.
You know, I expected more grief from my own family because we're having the wedding 12 hours from my nearest family member but I haven't gotten any. So why am I catching so much grief from people that are at least going to be able to ATTEND the wedding, unlike most of my family?


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