It's easy for me to talk most aspects feminism with other straight women. They'll agree with me about learning new skills to be independent, and dressing comfortably, and not putting up with male bullshit.
It's harder, nearly impossible if they have a partner, to get them to act out certain personal feminist choices with me though. I'm basically talking to two people in one at that point, and the woman I'm talking to considers her man's feelings so hard she basically has his ghost following her around everywhere.
They'll tell me it's a free choice not to shave . . . but they do it because there's the concern of being unattractive to their man. Same with other cosmetic alterations. They'll agree with me about being able to say no to any sexual act for any reason . . . but might express surprise that at the claim you can have a happy healthy sex life that doesn't involve penetration. Because they can't imagine their man being accepting of that. It's a kind of "rules for thee but not for me" situation where they love to see other women be self-actualized but unfortunately don't hold themselves to the same standards.
And honestly, their concerns have merit. There's a legit chance the boyfriends/husbands WILL leave if these women choose to live naturally and enforce their boundaries. There's not a lot of men out there who would be cool with that, even among self-described liberal guys. It doesn't feel good to hear that one must accept the possibility of not having a romantic partner after a lifetime of being told such a thing is an expected milestone and realistically attainable for women who just try hard enough.
I still talk feminism with them though. I let them agree to disagree with me at the time, but I think the memory of me being a happy example of a fulfilling life on my own terms sticks in their head like a seed that could sprout later. I don't think my words are ever wasted on women just because I'm not present to see them come to fruition.
