The Madness of Well Disguised Mind

Rating - Green Cortina/PG-13 (slight innuendo)
Disclaimer - Still waiting for Life on Mars After Dark to start airing. Since it's not that must surely mean none of this belongs to me but to the BBC and Kudos instead. 
Summary - Gene comes home to find that Sam's made himself at home. 
Part One
Part Two
Part Four 
Part Five
Part Six  
Part Seven 

Gene looked around the pub curiously. When he’d left the station at Beer O’Clock Tyler had still been working like a busy little bee over his desk. "Coming to the pub Sammy Boy?" Gene had asked bluntly.

"In a bit," he’d agreed. "Thought I’d finish up this last bit of paperwork and then I wouldn’t have to look at it Monday morning."

"Just be new paperwork there by Monday afternoon," Gene answered.

Sam had just rolled his eyes and turned back to his work. Gene had shrugged and left with Ray and Chris down to the pub. There were days he wondered if Tyler had truly been meant to be a police officer or a secretary instead. Housewife, he thought uncharitably. That’s what Sammy Boy would be best at. One day the little poofter would make some bloke a lovely wife.

Now it had been two hours and Tyler hadn’t come to the pub yet. There hadn’t been that much paperwork to finish up. If there had, Gene reasoned, he’d have actually stayed to help. He snorted into his drink. Not likely if he wanted to be honest but he would have at least offered and Tyler would have known better than to take him up on it. So where was he?

Gene shrugged into his coat gruffly, paid his tab and made his way to the door. Wouldn’t hurt to swing back by the station and make sure nothing had gone wrong. He didn’t think anything had but it never hurt to check. They’d just call him back in if he didn’t and something had gone wrong.

Once inside the station Gene could see that it was dark. No Tyler. That was interesting. Where could he be? Gene went back to the Cortina and drove the route to the pub once more, slowly, and looked for the bloody, broken carcass of his DI. No dead Tyler. No bloody, broken Tyler. Where was the man? Cartwright was in the pub so he knew Tyler wasn’t with her.

Gene turned the Cortina towards home. Maybe Tyler had decided to call it an early night. Grabbed some chips and went home to bed. It had been a lousy week and Gene could admit the idea didn’t sound to bad. Nice long sleep, little relaxation, just a good all around weekend away from the station. Too bad Tyler was staying around and ruining it.

Gene stopped then. It wasn’t as if Tyler had been a bad guest last night. Had been polite to the Missus, aside from the occasional stare - which Gene was used to whenever people met Gladys and realized that she was actually with him. This morning he’d been up early and when Gene had stumbled down to the kitchen he’d found Gladys tucked up with a cup of tea and nibbling on some toast while Tyler had cooked breakfast. He had made decent fried eggs as well, didn’t break the yolks like Gladys always did.

So where was the little gobshite? If he went home and told Gladys her new pet was missing he knew the tears wouldn’t end until she was certain "poor DI Tyler" was safe and sound. Which meant Gene was going back out tonight to look for him if Tyler didn’t show up soon. Best let Gladys know he was going to be out looking for him, Gene thought as he opened the front door.

He saw the flicker of the television in the darkened parlour and tried his best not to swear. That dirty little, Gene thought to himself. Here Gene had been prowling the streets of Manchester, looking for Tyler, and there he was in Gene’s parlour having a pajama party with Gladys. The popcorn between them hadn’t spilled, they had that going for them Gene thought. That meant they hadn’t jerked hurriedly to their current positions at opposite ends of the sofa.

"Hello Tyler, fancy meeting you here." Gene said dryly.

"Oh hey Guv," Tyler smiled. "How was the pub?"

"Short a DI. Flashknickers was worrying herself sick when you didn’t show."

"Right," Sam agreed. "I guess I’ll need to call her tomorrow and let her know I was just tired then huh?"

"What are you doing?" Gene asked as he picked up the bowl of popcorn and sat on the center cushion between them.

"Doris Day’s on telly," Gladys piped up. "Sammy came in just after it started and so he sat up to watch it with me. We made popcorn."

"Right," Gene shot a scowl at Tyler. "Doris Day’s on."

"My mum’s a big fan," Tyler broke in with a smile. "Used to watch them with her back in Hyde."

"Right," Gene agreed.

"You going to watch with us Genie?" Gladys asked as she snuggled her head into his shoulder and reached for a handful of popcorn.

"Well," Gene sighed. He hated Doris Day movies. Had watched quite a few of them when he and Gladys had first gotten together. That had been their tradeoff. One date was a girly, poofter movie like the ones Doris Day were in and the next he got to see a proper movie. A good western with gun battles that caused Gladys to curl up on his shoulder and bury her eyes into his chest. Good old Westerns.

"Oh come on Genie," Sam had dug. "Don’t you want to watch Doris with us?"

"Couldn’t think of anything I’d rather do than watch Doris Day with my two favorite girls," Gene answered with his own grin and slung his arm over Gladys’ shoulder. When she snuggled in closer he couldn’t help but smile in triumph. Let Tyler be a sensitive little poofter. Gladys might have pajama parties and popcorn with him but once she was tucked up in bed with Gene, Flashknickers was still at the pub and Sammy boy was going to his guest room all alone. Sometimes it was still good to be the Guv.