Vriddy writes

Boku no Hero Academia | Dabi/Hawks | 800 words | rated T
Written for diegetic_exchange

Totally fictional

In universe, someone is passionately writing a heartfelt, if somewhat unsympathetic, fanfic about Hawks.

Chapter 78: In which a heroic protagonist hits the hard wall of reality, among other crimes

Pro Hero Hawks, ranked Number Three perhaps for the three whole brain cells he possessed, flew high between the skyscrapers of Fukuoka. His powerful back muscles rippled under the effort of keeping himself airborne. Under his bodysuit, tight and toned abs worked hard to preserve his posture straight in order to avoid his spinal cord snapping, which would be an embarrassing way to die for a Pro Hero. Not the most embarrassing out there, but this was not a prize Pro Hero Number Three Hawks was looking to win.

Biceps rolling under his body-fitting tight, tight suit, Hawks was stretching when the unthinkable happened.

He flew right into a building.

His full, kissable lips smacked right against the reinforced glass, offering the window a glorious gift that many fangirls would kill for but that alas, inanimate surfaces could not fully appreciate. In an unseemly manner that would have Public Relation officers all over the world scream and wail at, Hawks slipped down against the building, slowly at first, then faster.

Of course, if indignity was enough to kill a Pro Hero then they would all be dead already, so our plucky Number Three Hero, Hawks, possessor of three whole brain cells and of a body reminiscent of ancient Greek gods, used his unfairly beautiful red wings to ease his descent. Their span nearly covered the entire length of the building as he landed more gracefully than this frankly humiliating crash and fall deserved to end on.

Once safely on the ground, the glass building reflected his perfect face and he realised the fall had tousled his hair—normally just as perfect and shining as the rest of him. A dishevelled appearance would not do as it could lose him 0.3 points in popularity ratings, thus Hawks immediately began to rearrange his hair. To a random passerby, the result of his work would not look any different than before, but to the connoisseur such as the millions of fangirls fawning and sighing over that pretty face every single day, the difference between "carelessly unkempt" and "stylishly windswept" was obvious. Supposedly.

Satisfied with the result, Hawks lifted his visor and met his own golden eyes. The reflection was mirror-like, good enough to notice the tiny silver sparks swimming in the amber pools of the entrancing irises. One could seriously lose themselves in those eyes—proving that heroes can be just as much of a danger to the population as the villains they hunt down without ever raising any question.

Hawks winked at himself and hydrated his lips with his pink, tantalising tongue before making a kissy face at his reflection. Time to save some lives!

Or so he thought.

On the other side of the glass wall, the group of women who had been adjusting their hair and outfits in the building of the lobby had grown increasingly alarmed by the hero who appeared to be staring at them, and the conceited kissy face was the last straw.

In absolutely justified self-defence, they ran out of the building and chased Hawks off, hitting him with their handbags while tearing at his jacket in fury.

Some time later, Hawks found himself dishevelled in an alley, visor broken, jacket nowhere to be seen which honestly was for the best as hiding a body as sculpted as his was practically criminal in itself.

With a weary, self-deprecating sigh and an expression that somehow managed to remain unfairly attractive under the circumstances, Hawks lifted his hand to ruffle his once-again tousled hair, biceps bulging appealingly even in the darkness of the alleyway. Another crime was that there was no one there to enjoy the sight… unless perhaps a villain lurked further down the alley, waiting for their moment?

Dabi nodded to himself and hit the Post button without re-reading. Maybe the next instalment could have stupid banter and Hawks making an ass of himself in a fight against some embarrassing quirk. He hadn't thought that far yet. However, he had no doubt he would need some kind of outlet again after another frustrating meeting with the hero today.

With that, Dabi left the Internet café to go meet Hawks, having let go of all his frustrations around the bird through writing so he wouldn't be distracted at all when they met. Nope. Not one bit.

Yeah. Right.

Fiction could exist in his head just as well as in fanfic.