Vriddy writes

Boku no Hero Academia | Hawks & Toomie | 1.2k words | rated T
Written for unsent_letters_exchange

Appendix B

At sixteen, a week after being taught how to break into a computer, Hawks breaks into the Hero Public Safety Commission's database to look up his own file. Whatever he expected to find in there, it didn't include dozens of letters from his mother.

At sixteen, a week after being taught how to break into a computer, Hawks breaks into the Hero Public Safety Commission's database to look up his own file. After all, what better way to prove to his teachers – or at least to himself – that the lesson was effective? He doesn't intend to get caught. While he'll never be expected to be a hacker, he was trained for infiltration, too. There will be times when he's only be able to rely on his own skills to get the information needed.

This time, he took advantage of the restricted HPSC training facility environment to steal copies of an admin's fingerprints, hide in ceilings to see their password, and steal a small device that also needs to be plugged into the computer for access to be granted. He doesn't have a lot of time before needing to put the latter back where he found it.

He's not quite sure what he expected to find in there. Perhaps a few words of praise. Perhaps areas of weakness he hasn't been told about yet, so he can start working on them by himself. Perhaps the plans for his hero debut in two years, which he tries not to be too excited about even though he really, really is. He wants to help people! Being stuck in training and made-up exercises when he'd rather help people for real is suffocating at times, but of course, he understands why it's necessary.

The first few pages are early medical reports from his time joining the Commission, and more reports on his first training sessions, predictably terrible even if "promising." There's also a bunch of appendices that he skims through, quickly at first.

It's under "Appendix B - Letters" that he comes across the first handwritten letter. At first, he doesn't recognise the handwriting because he only learnt how to read after the Commission took him in. "To Keigo," the letter starts. At the end, it's signed, "Toomie."

Hawks clicks more. There are dozens of them. The HPSC never passed them on to him.

They didn't, and perhaps it was for the best. When he learnt how to write, Hawks – still Keigo then – tried to write her a letter to let her know that he was doing okay. But when the Commission told him to cut all links with the name 'Takami', Hawks had been relieved to have an excuse to move on and abandon her with the rest of it. She'd made her decision to get rid of him in exchange for a life of comfort. He too had made his own decision then, and burnt the letter, unread and unsent.

Not a heroic start to what would be his hero career, but as soon as he debuted, he was going to do better for everyone else.

Still, he cannot help but read on.

To Keigo,

You have no idea how hard life was for me, until that man came to hide in my house. I couldn't work and the house was falling apart long before he arrived. He helped, though. He helped me. And if he hadn't found me, then you would never have been born, and then the very nice people from the Commission would have never taken a chance on you. I hope you are working hard and that they are looking after you well.

Please be well.

Toomie

To Keigo,

You don't understand how hard it was to raise a child on my own once that person was gone. I took you away to protect you. If we had stayed in that house, I would have been arrested for helping that person to hide and what would have become of you then? Everything I did, I did for you. It was for the best. If we hadn't left that house, the kind Commission people would never have found you and taken good care of you. Didn't you dream of heroes? Now you will be one, if you work hard.

Be well.

Toomie

To Keigo,

It was so hard to raise a child in that house. Babies cry all the time, and you did too. But I protected you, kept you out of the way of all the dangers in there and outside. If I hadn't had you, that person would have left me, and then where would that leave us now? It was all for the best. Everything was so difficult before. Do you remember the hero plush I bought you? It might as well have been attached to you, you never let it go. I got it for you. I hope you are working hard.

Please be well.

Toomie

To Keigo,

Life is very hard, Keigo. Thankfully, you will never know how hard it can be. Maybe you don't understand why I made the decisions I made, but you were so small. You can't possibly understand, or remember, how hard everything and every day was. I was so scared, all the time. What if he left me? And ultimately, it happened. Maybe you don't remember. What matters is that in the end, it was all for the best. You are so well taken care of where you are now.

Be well.

Toomie

To Keigo,

I was all alone until he showed up, Keigo. You're too small to understand. You're surrounded by many good people who care for you and look after you. You always were. You never were alone. You wouldn't understand how hard it is, how hard it was, and you never will, and I'm glad for this. I know you will make me proud. Please continue to work hard, and be well.

Toomie

There are more, dutifully scanned over the months, probably by a dispassionate Commission admin just doing their job. The last one is dated a year after the Commission took him in and his training started.

And it's not like Hawks has ever relied on his mother for anything in a long, long time, even before meeting the Commission... but as neutral as he pretends himself to be, there's still something that closes up inside of him as he reads through page after page of convoluted logic, the rewriting of his own history, and her attempts at absolving herself of her own guilt. Maybe she managed to do it in the end, and that's why the letters stopped. Or perhaps she finally felt secure enough in her new life of comfort.

Perhaps she finally remembered that Keigo didn't know how to read, having never been sent to school or allowed out of the house, except when he managed to sneak away anyway and paid the price fro it later.

Hawks doesn't have time for any of this.

He has less than two years to make his hero debut if all goes well, and by finding all of this on his own he just proved his skill, to himself if no one else. It's time to return the computer key and to focus on his next training objective.

Carefully, Hawks puts everything back the same way he found it. He locks back the computer, the door, and his heart, and leaves the room.

To Mama,

I am werking hard. I am treining my wings and my fethers and I am using my wings to do sumthing good. Like you said. Thats what theyre for now. So you dont have to wory about me anymore. Im okay and I hope youre okay to.

Keigo