"sex is normalized already" do you know what your bartholin glands are? do you know what happens to your vulva after menopause and how it affects orgasms? do you know what retrograde ejaculation is? do you know what ssc means and how to use it? do you know where your damn prostate is located?

just because there's mild dick and balls on tv now doesn't mean sex is normalized half enough.

Harry: Kim, what's following that kid?

Kim: ...

Harry: What?

Kim: What are you talking about?

Inland Empire [80%]

Looks like you're the only one who can see it.

Harry: The... bone monster?

Kim: The bone monster.

Harry: Yes. The bone monster.

THE BONE MONSTER - As you approach it grins, watching you watching it.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Good morning officers."

YOU - Continue looking at the bone monster.

THE BONE MONSTER - It tilts its head to the side quizzically at you.

YOU - Tilt your head in response.

THE BONE MONSTER - It begins leering over you, grinning even harder.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - The kid turns towards you.

PERCEPTION [LEGENDARY: SUCCESS] - For a moment he looked at the bone monster, and then to you.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - "Is there a problem, officers?"

KIM - "You will have to forgive my partner, he has quite an active imagination."

THE BONE MONSTER - "You hear that? I'm just a part of your imagination."

INLAND EMPIRE - I don't think he's a part of your imagination.

This man... He can see Ryuk? But how? The only explanation is that he touched my Death Note, but I've had it with me all day! Did he sneak into my room last night while I was asleep? But, all my security measures were intact... And he seems confused, is he putting on an act? Let me see if I can...

"Pardon me officer, I don't think I caught your name?"

"Uh, well that's the thing, I, uh, don't actually remember it at the moment."

Damn him! He knows I need a name to kill, and now he's taunting me! He can see Ryuk, too, so one wrong move could end me! I might have to make the eye deal at this point...

---------------------------------

LOGIC [Medium, failure]: This bone monster is obviously Kira. You are fucked.

1. Try to make Kim see the bone monster. [Suggestion, Legendary]
2. Attempt to arrest the bone monster.
3. Put yourself between the bone monster and Light.
4. Ask Light for some money.
5. Try to play it off as a joke and leave quickly. [Composure, Formidable]

> Attempt to arrest the bone monster

PERCEPTION [EASY: FAILURE] - You can't tell what gender it is.

YOU - "Excuse me, sir-- or, uh, madam?-- Bone... person..."

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs, a deep, gutteral sound, like air escaping from the lungs of a corpse. As its jaw moves, you can see rows upon rows of sharp teeth inside its gaping maw.

COMPOSURE [CHALLENGING: SUCCESS] - You stand your ground and manage not to freak out.

YOU - "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the police station. You... uh, match the description of a suspect... I think."

THE BONE MONSTER - It lets out a loud, phlegmatic belly laugh. "What are you going to do, arrest me?"

AUTHORITY - Damn right you are. Cuff him.

YOU - "Yes, as a matter of fact, I will. You are under arrest on suspicion of being Kira. Put your hands forward, wrists together."

KIM - "How exactly are you going to handcuff a hallucination, Detective?"

THE BONE MONSTER - It laughs again, like this is the funniest thing in the world, before obediently sticking out its arms.

THE BONE MONSTER'S KID - His eyes go wide and his face goes pale as you place the cuffs on the monster's wrists, before his gaze darts to Kim.

KIM - He is staring at the cuffs. He looks bewildered. "Are those handcuffs... floating?"

-----------------------------------

Shit! Ryuk, why did you have to comply?! Is this a game to you? No matter... They still don't realize that I'm Kira, not Ryuk. All I have to do is stay calm and act surprised. I'm sure Ryuk can just escape later, once he gets bored. And this other cop obviously can't see him, so it seems it's only the first one who has touched a Death Note... I just need to make it seem that he's the only one who can see Shinigami. Then I'll seem innocent, and he'll be the suspicious one!

"How did you do that? Is it some kind of magic trick?"

--------------------------------------

SHIVERS [Heroic, Success]: As intimidating as it looks, the bone monster isn't the real threat.

1. Deduce who the real Kira is [Logic, Godly]
2. Ask Light what he knows about the bone monster.
3. Tell Kim I-told-you-so.
4. Convince Light you are a sorcerer [Drama, Impossible]
5. Ask Light if he has any cigarettes.

I don't know shit about Harry's universe but I wanna see where this is gonna go. I vote cigarettes next.

Someone wrote a fic where he hit light with his car. It is a brilliant piece of coding and fiction.

I'd HIGHLY reccomend it- there's only one chapter, really (the second one exists purely as a workaround to make something that would otherwise be a popup into a link because its way too long to be a popup) and its 32,000ish words.

ALT

ALT

ALT

Its fun you should check it out

this stupid shit has been around for so long and it’s crazy to me there are still people with enough rocks in their brain to believe it. “Oughhhhh if you aren’t nice to you oppressors they’ll become bigots instead of allies” if someone’s support for marginalized groups hinges entirely on whether or not that group is niceys, they’re by definition not effective or useful allies and, by admission of this argument, an active danger to the communities theyre supposed to be allied with because they can Enter Bigot Mode the second they become displease

Like this isn't an exaggeration. You should be able to rent alone, buy groceries, have disposable income, and still save for a vacation or whatever tf. I cannot emphasize enough how little people are being paid

Yeah, no, like at first was like, "That seems a little high" and then I stopped and actually compared it to, y'know, the price of living and the cost of things and whatever, and it literally is not? It is actually just "the wages of a decent living" that minimum wage is supposed to be?

It turns out that I -- like the rest of us -- am not immune to propaganda, and sometimes that fact slaps me in the face in the most fascinating ways.

bring back family wages. when one income was enough to support two adults and their children.

wait, I remembered one more thing I know about Supernatural

wait, I remembered

one more thing I know about

Supernatural

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

Yes!

Do not drop your phone into the bucket of tile adhesive. This step is actually completely unnecessary and massively complicates the tiling process.

You say this but my uncle is a tiler and he swears by the “drop phone in putty bucket” technique. I think you’re just posting this for clout

Your uncle is caught up in a tradition that he was taught as an apprentice that he never questioned. Modern putty doesn't require phone, the formula has changed.

MY uncle says some customers still demand the phone putty technique because it "doesn't look right otherwise"

Drop an empty phone case in and those customers can't tell the fucking difference because there is no fucking difference.

My mum renovated houses for thirty years, she says “you’re half right, but in some cases - particularly in houses built before 1930 - the phone does add some benefit. Could be a tablet too if you’ve an old one in the garage. And anyone who says it’s got to be a particular model is just being precious about it, whatever the forums say.”

IPhones and tablets where invented in 1898, what did they do before then?

Nothing, tiles were invented in 1899.