I have decided that I should stop whishing for impossible things for Christmas. All I have ever done is make hopeful wishes and every year I am brought to tears. So this year I have decided to not wish for anything for myself, this year I wish that everyone elses wishes come true. Wishes just brings sad tears to my eyes, so maybe everyone out there will have better luck than me.
So today is the night of the 6th day that my husband is in the hospital. Yesterday night I got a message from my husbands friend telling me that he was alright. His friend told me that the doctors successfully removed all of the tumor that was in my husbands brain and that he was doing fine, he's was just sleeping a lot which is expected. I was so relived when I got that message. All of the worry I had in me just melted away, but the ache of missing him still stayed. So today at school I was actually not that upset, I got through my classes with a lighter heart and a better attitude. I didn't feel like having a breakdown and I was actually able to laugh and smile with my classamtes. I got through my presentation without much mishaps, my Biology teacher changed the due date for my homework so I was happy about that. I gained a new friend and a bridesmaid for my wedding. Everything went great today and it just got better earlier tonight.
I got the biggest surprise tonight, I got a message from my husband. He messaged to tell me himself that he was doing ok. I was so happy and I couldn't believe that I got a message from him that quickly after his surgery, I wasn't expecting a message from him for at least another 3 or 4 days. So I was so excited when I opened my mail box and saw that I got a message from him. The first thing I did when I got his message was hug and kiss him, it was so good talking to him again. I couldn't stop kissing him and he didn't mind me kissing him in every single message, he rather enjoyed it. Although I do have to scold him when I talk to him, the reason is because he was on the computer when he wasn't cleared to be on it and he fell off his bed because he was still too weak but still decided to get on and message me.
So today is the 5th day that my husband is in the hospital and it is also the day of his surgery. His surgery was at 1pm, 10am my time, he told me that it would take about 5 hours to complete the surgery. So the surgery should be well past done now. I won't find out how he is until at least late tomorrow night, he asked on of his friends to send me a message on how he doing. I'm sure he is doing fine and will come back to me soon.
Last night was very hard for me, after his last message I broke down crying. I couldn't help it, he just means so much to me. It doesn't really help either that I'm so far away from him right now, I wish I was right there with him while he is going through all of this. Last night all I could think about was him. I'm amazed I didn't have a breakdown in school today. Today I felt so lost without my better half, I tried to just focus on homework so that I would stop worrying. Focusing on my homework helped alittle bit, but didn't completely get the thought of him out of my head. I hope I do better tomorrow, I have a presentation to do tomorrow and I don't want to start cying infront of the class. I also have Biology homework due tomorrow and I can't afford to fail that assignment. I hope I can get all my work done.
I know that my husband would want me to be strong and to do my work. So for him I'm going to try my hardest to stay strong until he comes back to me.
So today is the 4th day that my husband is in the hospital. I haven't heard from him yet and I might not because his surgery is tomorrow afternoon. I hope he finishes all of his homework so that he can actually relax after his surgery and not be worrying over homework. I don't hink today is going to be a bad day for me because I have a lot of things to keep me busy. I mean I will always be thinking about my husband, but I won't be freaking every 5 minutes of the day like I did on the first day. Also, I don't think my husband would want me to worry, well actually I know he doesn't want me to worry. He tells me everyday not to worry and that everything will be alright, I have to trust him because he's always right, well he always says that only his opinion matters so I should just listen to him.
I hope I get to talk to my husband later on tonight. But until then I might as well make my husband happy and actually do my homework. My husband doesn't like it when I don't do my homework. But this time I really need to do my homework because I have to do my part in a group project, I don't want my group memebers to get mad at me for not doing my part.
Oh darn I forgot about sharing what my wonderful husband did for me last night, but that's going to have to wait because I'm going out for a while. No I'm not going out to party.
So a couple of days ago my husband or should I say future husband got admitted to the hospital. He's in the hospital for a surgery. I was so worried when I found out that he was going in for that. When he told me a million things went through my mind, as well as many many emotions. The first thing I felt was worry, but my husband has assured me that everything will be fine and that he would be ok. He better be ok, I don't know what I would do without him if something were to happen. The first day he was in the hospital I was freaking out, I spent the whole day worrying and not being able to do my schoolwork. I don't think I should tell him that I wasn't able to do my homework on that day, I don't want him worried about me passing my classes when all of this other stuff is going on. So anyway that whole day I was busy worrying and couldn't stop checking my message every 10 minutes, I know that's silly of me but I couldn't help it. I was just about to give up and go to sleep but I decided to check one last time and it's a lucky thing I did, I got a message from my husband. I was so relieved so get a message from him, it was like I could finally breath again. It's amazing how my husband makes me feel, even with all of this going on he still manages to make my heart race with just a single message, just like the first time I met him. Well anyway, we talked, I found out what he did at the hospital all day. They had to run a whole bunch of tests on him, so when he was talking to me he was a bit high on medication. He told me some cute stuff that happened, like he started laughing for no reason and the hospital staff found it hilarious and laughed with him. I found out that he snorts when he laughs, I just find that so cute. So we talkd and thanks to that I was able to sleep well that night. On the second day I wasn't so worried, but I still kept checking my messages every 10 minutes, I know I should really stop doing that. Anyway, I got a message from that night and found out he was doing better not as drugged up, and he's keeping up with his work.
So today is the 3rd day that my husband is in the hospital or at least I think it's the 3rd day, I know I'm a bad wife for not remembering. Well anyway today wasn't too bad, I didn't check my messages every 10 minutes at least, but I was checking them frequently. Today was ok, I didn't spend so much time worry becasue I actually had things to do to keep my mind busy. Atually I'm talking to my husband right now, he's doing ok, he got most of his homework done which is good. Oh I forgot the good news my husband has an interview for a promotion at his job when he gets out of the hospital, I'm so proud of him.
My answer depends on two things. The first being would I have to keep it a secret and live in hiding and the second being am I able to give this gift to someone else. If I had to live in hiding or couldn't change anyone else to live forever, then no I would not wan't to live forever. But if I could do live free and change the people I wan't to keep me company then I wouldn't mind living forever.
depressed