if a celery stalk could talk

"the marshmellow slide", 50 crunches a day, 8 glasses a day, ab-rollers, asparagus, auntie skeleton with lunchtray, bastardized ramen, being consumptionist, canned corn, carb-hating, cheesecake, chicken spread, chocolate mousse, chopsticks for no reason, coffee, coffee cake, cold food, cookie dough, crash diets, curry, eaters, eating only meat, eating/not-eating white things, fad diets, fake food, farmer's markets, fastfood atkins options, fatty boom batty, fiber, fresh baked bread, fresh produce, fresh squeezed orange juice, fried squiddies, frozen peas, ganache, gas station dreamery, get in my mouth!, ghetto bootay, gogurt, goku eats a cheeseburger, goolash, grapefruits, hard-to-pronounce grains, italian delights, jello, jello wrestling, jumbo sausage, kidney cleansing, kiwi fruit, la tomatina, last night's meat grease, licking, lip-smackin, lite beer, malteds, mo' marshmellow, mochi, moderate excercise, moufs, multi-vitamins, munchkin holes, neglected produce, nesquick, no preservatives, non-stick teflon pans, noodle slurping, nordic tracks, omwiches, peas be with you, poached pears, poetic justice, popcorn balls, powdered soup, purging oneself of toxins, roadside berry sales, roasts, running with dogs, sack lunches, scallion bread, scrambles, self-proclaimed health tactics, sliced oranges, slimming down, soi!, stair climbers, starch vegetarians, sticky hickies, sweet cuppin cakes, teef, the abs below, the food pyramid, tofu, tofutti, tomatos, treadmills, tummys, tums, white castle, working out