heffalumps love pancakes

dad died.
everything was starting to work out. i got too hopeful.
i miss him.

a house!

eeeeeeeep! so much to do! so cool!

still no house. a job though!

well last night was fun, i think jasper described it well enough, suffice to say that i am satisfied that i have acheived my goal of a good night out at last. i am tired!

i am determined that nothing will get in the way of clubbing this weekend- even the boy wants to this week, so i've no reason not to spend money unwisely for the good of my feeling young and getting drunk. should be fun. yay.
looks like i have a new job starting soon too. :-)

since my last entry, lots of cool stuff has happened. i went to the show for the first time in many years, and oh! the fairy flossed, ferris wheeled, ghost rided, purple smiley happy guyness of it all!!! 
also last night my night in shiny armour took me to movie and a meal, after showing up with flowers and munchables the day earlier. so much to love.

suffering insomnia, plus i'm tired all the time. weird, huh. must be going crazy again. i want a new job, something to give me direction that also gives me money which also is better than the job i have. i want direction. i want purpose. i want more food.

things aren't going to plan, which is stressful, but i don't want to harp on about my worries as i think harping on does nothing useful, and neither does worrying, but i wanted to make an entry to prove i am alive. yay.

i am all sick and yucky. which means my weekend has been pretty much sucky, on account of feeling so gross and in pain. thanks for looking after me johnny. but ugh. yuck. bleh. in other news, house hunting is proving difficult. but we have a clothes horse, yes indeedy.

wonderful weekend!

began with successful deforestation of my legs. and would you believe it, it got better even after that! gasp.

was showered with gifts, including my favourite flowers- yellow tulips- potted too- and the mark ryden blood collection that (as you may have guessed) i doth adore. went flat-hunting and fingers-crossed will get wonderful 2 bedroom complete with saloon doors. big lunch. changed into my fantabulous big red boofy thing and next thing i know, we're at the grand hotel being given an upgrade into a beautiful (really, really beautiful) room with the most comfortable bed and 2 tvs and... we marvel at our fortune, and dine on pancakes, and are entertained by offside at the regency. i really liked the luxury of it all... i felt, still feel, way too unimportant to have such things wasted on me. ran into some friends, had a drink, bought some munchies, and then after a long, deep, french-bubble-bath bath of all baths we watched cartoons and ate munchies in the most gorgeous place i've ever slept in. then it's over, somehow, we're checking out and eating more yummies and browsing through sunday markets. to cap the day off we got a cheap clothes horse and a can opener, excitedly making purchases for the home we're about to make. 

back to life now, i suppose. can't this keep going? i like how i got to suck up every morsel of time, instead of wishing it away. thanks, johnny, for this weekend. it's the best gift. hopefully the saloon doors will be ours!